HowTo talk:Throw a temper tantrum
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edit Pee Review Comments
I've had this parent reviewed by several other people who have spawned offspring and have been told that it is on target. Constructive comments always welcome. Dame00:10, 19 August 2007 (UTC)
|Humour:||9||Really well done, definitely worth being featured. The opening paragraph builds up well to a great line: "Baby...you've had better moments." Your tongue-in-cheek use of the subject, such as instructions on how to make the tantrum the right level, is good in itself, but then it gets even better as you describe the consequences later in life (especially "a quiet person...those bodies buried in their crawl space.") The part about your "inner child" is perfect.|
|Concept:||10||You do a really good job of combining the baby's perspective and encyclopedic tone to provide an "objective" explanation of what a tantrum is (e.g., "your way of dealing with everyday stress of being a child in a world that simply expects more articulation of reason than your cute little brain is capable of forming)." Your article succeeds because of the way you deal with the concept - putting the reader in the child's shoes, explaining what the child experiences but doesn't even understand themselves, and exaggerating it for effect.|
|Prose and formatting:||8||Properly formatted. Use of lists is effective, especially the repetition such as the shiny red button and what to do with baby brother or sister. Lists are usually hard to do well, because they can be overdone, but you've done it about right. The danger is that humour can wear thin if they're too long, so you might want to go over them once more - for example, you could get rid of either "take a nap" or "go to bed" and I don't think having both getting in and out of the car adds to the humour.
Also you use the "tips" to good effect. One minor picky point, a typo in the second-last paragraph under "thar she blows," first sentence: "a really" is repeated.
|Images:||6||The pictures you have are pretty good, but I bet you could find more that illustrate something other than babies crying.|
|Miscellaneous:||9||I wish I had more to suggest. The only thing I can think of is that you could add more looking forward to the effects on the child's adulthood. On the other hand, maybe you should leave it as is and don't mess with it. As far as I'm concerned, it's ready for VFH and I'm voting FOR.|
|Reviewer:||Sir Roger 18:41, 3 September 2007 (UTC)|
edit Illegitimi non carborundum indeed
Nice try, but the correct Latin quote goes "Nolite Bastardes Carborundum [te]". Literally: "Unwant the Bastards grinding down [you]". By and large in the scientific community, the origin of the quote is attributed to Cornelis van der Decken, Master of the Flying Dutchman. And also, Illegitimi means outlaws (not bastards). And carborundum is a gerundivum in that expression, and not as many a lazy student wrongly supposes a gerundium. Just so you know. Sorry to interfere, but I really really hate it when the great unwashed gets their Latin quotes fumbled. -- di Mario 18:59, 4 October 2007 (UTC)
- But then again, I read the harticle and it had me rofl. Well done! Congrats! Great job! Mayby I'll try having a TT at work tomorrow, see how that works out... -- di Mario 19:10, 4 October 2007 (UTC)