HowTo talk:Hunt Interesting Exotic Dancer Conversation

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a HA! FOUND YOU! And here we go:

Uh, sorry about that Cheap! HERE WE GO:

  • Intro -7.5- above average, I think. Good prose and delivery, except for a few parts where it starts wearing thin from the length.
  • 1 Why Hunt For Something Interesting -7- This section is okay.
  • 2 Selecting Your Dancer -8- This is slightly better than the intro. Your delivery is more fast paced, and the section is a quick, easy read.
  • 2.1 Common Mistakes -7- it has some proofreading to be done, but otherwise okay.
  • 3 Approaching Your Pray -6- Hmmm... it's not that I don't get it, it's just that the animal metaphor is becoming tired at this point. Oh, god, so many sections!
  • 3.1 Luring -6- Well, the article is beginning to show its less worthy genitalia at this point.
  • 3.2 Securing Your Dancer -6- again.
  • 3.3 Common Mistakes -5- I didn't actually understand that section.
  • 4 Delving Into The Mind -6- your standard introduction, except the animal metaphor is not fresh or interesting by now.
  • 4.1 Fascinating Family Lives -6- proofread this section, although it's not THAT bad.
  • 4.2 Amazing Wells of Knowledge -7- this was the first time the article went into 1st person, where it speaks directly to you. I don't know why you did that, it doesn't add much. Anyway, not that bad a section.
  • 4.3 Naked People Have Dreams Too -5- didn't quite get it, but maybe that's because I'm sick right now.
  • 4.4 Common Mistakes -5- eh... okay? Didn't add anything to the article, really.
  • 5 Conclusion -6- It's kind of a weak ending, but I don't know how to improve this.

I don't know how to improve this article other than trimming. There is an acquired taste for when a sentence or paragraph goes on too long, and I think you have yet to find it. Maybe read the article yourself, and you'll see it's not a bad article, just kinda meh (maybe an average of a 6 or so out of 10). The metaphor of being an animal goes on longer than it should, I think. Maybe get rid of a few sections and try to say as much as you can in as little a space as possible is what I would try to do. I hope I helped, Cheap! Talk to me any time you need help!   Le Cejak <23:15, 23 May 2008>

edit other stuff

I didn't realize I was lost. Did I wander off in some sort of drug induced haze again? All that I know is when I woke up a few days ago I was planning a wedding and it was less than a month away. EEK!I have been primarily working on this article the last few days, and re-editing my Julien Dubuque piece (which scored way better when peed on than I thought it would. It has along way to go yet). I was also contacted by Qua about helping fix Why?:Did the Chicken Cross the Road, so I'll probably help that article with what I can later today and tonight. Then the major reedit of the Julien Dubuque thing and this piece before tackling anything new. --Cheapinitreal 01:59, 22 May 2008 (UTC)
First of all, remember that Uncyclopedia comes FIRST!!!!11 Second, it's good to help others: it improves your own writing! You're turning out to be a fine little adoptee! ...and I mean "fine" in the most sexual way possible.   Le Cejak <2:05, 22 May 2008>
I will return to reviewing your article, my fine friend! 'Till tomorrow, I hope!   Le Cejak <2:32, 22 May 2008>
Thank you much for taking a look (at both my sweet ass and this fine article). I'm glad I am living beyond normal noob expectations. After your done checking this out and I've done a proper reedit, I will let it be peed on and see what others think. BTW, I placed the kitty porn article on review for the last time (thought I'd see how the final project scores), so if you know any experienced reviewers who might want a laugh let 'em know (yourself and Blue yonder have currently reviewed it) oh and the novella example given in naked people have dreams too was actually pitched to me by a dancer at my bachelor party last week (which inspired this piece. It was hard not to laugh at the girl).--Cheapinitreal 03:25, 22 May 2008 (UTC)
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