HowTo talk:Get Around In A Fighting Tournament
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edit From Pee Review
Hello. This is my first time putting something in review. I'm not sure if it's the best though. I'd like to look for things to improve or add to it, cause I'd like to make it funnier and all, since it's supposed to reference and poke fun at fighting games in general. I feel I've got some good things down, but it needs something more, something I feel is missing... a sense of completion, perhaps?
Please don't be too harsh or critical on it, go easy on me, okay? I'll do my best to improve it. --Hanyouman 13:09, 26 February 2007 (UTC)
|Humour:||5||Has potential to be funny but good jokes are a bit few and far between|
|Concept:||8||Good idea, these fighting games have a lot to take the piss out of and most will know where you're coming from|
|Prose and formatting:||7||You can obviously write|
|Images:||6||They're quite good but not brilliant; I like the walking guy|
|Miscellaneous:||6||I really have no idea what this is for|
|Final Score:||32||You just need to go through the article and put in more jokes. The whole 'characters' section is a bit lame. I think you could a couple of jokes about how you can have your back broken or your chest eaten by a bear and get up to fight the next round. Maybe something about the lightning coming out of your fists. And I couldn't believe you missed out anything in the vein of: "If you're in trouble just tap X, it usually works". I look forward to seeing the finished article, it should be good.|
|Reviewer:||--Kelpan 20:14, 26 February 2007 (UTC)|
Hm, you mean that "dues ex machina" thing? I had thought about putting that in, thanks for reminding me. I'll try what I can and I hope more people will give me suggestions on what more to do with it.
I do hope to improve the Characters section, since I feel it's essential for poking fun at what we usually seen for characters and stuff, and that me and other people who wish to contribute help with it. :) --Hanyouman 20:46, 26 February 2007 (UTC)
edit From Pee Review 2
Okay, this is my second time putting this article through Pee Review. I've improved on it some (and a couple people added their ideas too), but I feel my weakest is in the Character Types section, which I feel is essential to the article's humor. There's a way to poke fun at them that I need to tap into, but I'm not sure how to go about it. Possibly a few other areas that I have wary feelings on too, but not sure on them either. So any advice or ideas would be nice. Again, don't be too harsh on me.
I hope I can improve upon this some more so that it's just right. Thanks for any help, it's appreciated. --Hanyouman 00:01, 1 March 2007 (UTC)
|Humour:||8||I wanted to give it a 7 - it's not hilarious per se- but the disembodied voice got the best of me. "BONUS ROUND!!GO!!!"|
|Concept:||10||What could be a better concept than a fighting tournament? Doesn't degenerate into random humor at any point, either. Good job!|
|Prose and formatting:||10||A few typos here and there, but I'm not your English teacher.|
|Images:||9||A very nice set, but I was left wanting for more... something. Maybe it's just me.|
|Final Score:||47||A great article overall. Could use more sarcasm and jabs at the skankity portrayal of women. Also, the "characters" section needs to decide what it's teaching you to do: befriend the competition, or kill them.|
|Reviewer:||--Medvedev (scream) 06:49, 1 March 2007 (UTC)|
Hey this has definitely improved tons since I reviewed it the first time. I maybe wouldn't score it quite so highly but I have a natural aversion to being overly positive - it's really good. I'm guessing from the amount of work you've put into it you'll be looking at VFH pretty soon. The most important thing to work on now is the introduction. Get your readers to laugh out loud in the first few lines and they'll be on your side right the way through. At the moment I would be reluctant to vote for it since most of our ADHD afflicted viewers would simply give up before they got to the meat of it. --Kelpan 23:43, 3 March 2007 (UTC)
edit From Pee Review
Third time's a charm, eh?
I know this is probably getting tedious or something by now, but I would still like to know where I can improve this without removing anything too vital (there's a few things in there I feel are important to it). So any advice would be nice as long as you're not being mean about it or something. If you wanna discuss it feel free to leave me a message or whatnot.
I'm just trying my hardest to make it as good as I can. I appreciate any help. --Hanyouman 17:44, 19 March 2007 (UTC)
|Humour:||9||Laughed my balls off. Well nearly|
|Concept:||10||Wonderful idea. Original and identifiable|
|Prose and formatting:||9||"Victory" is spelt wrong. I kid of course. Well laid out|
|Images:||9||Great stuff. Especially the Ken/Balrog (M. Bison, if you're Japanese) interchange|
|Miscellaneous:||9||I can't see much to do|
|Final Score:||46||My hat is off to you.|
|Reviewer:||--Don alun 18:25, 19 April 2007 (UTC)|