edit From Pee Review
|Humour:||7||There is some good funny in here already. I think a little formatting and some expansions will push the humor to the forefront.|
|Concept:||9||Great idea, and a skill which is essential in the world of internet sales.|
|Prose and formatting:||5||Needs improvement (See End Notes)|
|Images:||7||They're good, but need to be arranged better.|
|Miscellaneous:||7||Oranges? I don't know, no misc. comments really..|
|Final Score:||35||Needs a few touch-ups, but a solid piece so far. (See End Notes)|
|Reviewer:||THINKER 01:06, 4 July 2007 (UTC)|
Alright Manforman, this could be a VFH worthy piece if the proper fixer-uppers are implemented. First of all, the formatting needs to be fixed. This is one element that you end up getting a knack for the more you edit. It becomes a sort of move-and-preview thing, where you really have to switch around elements of the piece in order to get a good flow to the overall work. This element is overly apparent in a QFH I did a while ago; Did I really move to LA?. As you can see, text gets bunched up and loses emphasis due to the formatting. Feng shui the pictures, their sizes, and the headings a bit until it reads a bit smoother. Also reformat the Ingredients list so it isn't so listy (people get pissed at lists around here, for some reason). Take a look at Why?:Pour Boiling Hot Water Down Your Trousers? for examples of listing without being "listy."
After that, all I can say is add more detail. The intro: very funny. But after that, the follow-up elements need some more meat on their bones. Each heading is actually a really good concept (selling money, the toilet, etc.). They just need a little more to fill them out. To complete the jokes, so to speak. This is utilized highly in the aforementioned Boiling Water article, and will probably work here as well.
Great job so far though man, I can definitely dig it. :) --THINKER 01:06, 4 July 2007 (UTC)
You may want to consider, oh I don't know, spelling "decieve" the way that deceive is spelled. Funny how a small mistake, repeated throughout the page, completely ruined it for me, eh?05:38, 4 July 2007 (UTC)
edit The Small Words
I got bored enough to see what the small words are so I copied and pasted it on Word and resized it to a size 10 font. This is what came up: You can't read this. If you, the person with the C+ average, cannot read this text, then there is absolutely NO WAY an ignorant eBay buyer can read it. As such, you can say whatever you want! I hate Jews! I shot John F. Kennedy! You're buying an item you really, really do not need --JoeM007 00:03, 19 October 2007 (UTC)