HowTo talk:Be a conservative

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edit Old Article

Basically this whiney leftist biased rant was a knee-jerk reaction to How to be a liberal and if you find leftist whining funny, I guess it is funny. I didn't write the how to be a liberal article, I only added to it and continued on in the style of the original writers. I was going to write an how to be a conservative article, but someone beat me to it. Maybe I'll take pity on this article and rewrite it some day. Maybe then it can be funny. This whole article is about as funny as Livejournal or the The DailyKos which are also written in the leftist whiney emo style. Oh boo hoo, let's blame the right-wingers for our own mistakes and faults. It is not my fault I didn't go to college to earn a degree, and now I have to flip burgers at McDonald's and Burger King working two full-time jobs so I can live a materialistic life and drive myself into debt, and now I have to get a third job at Wal-Mart to pay off my BMW and $10,000 in credit card debt I got from buying junk off of eBay instead of saving up for my future. Maybe someone will take pity on me and I can be a security guard for a bank and I can be paid an extra 50 cents an hour, and that will enable me to buy more music off of Apple's iTunes store for my iPod. Capitalist Pigs like Orion Blastar earned a bachelor's degree and work $50,000USD a year jobs doing computer programming, and I can barely use a computer. Just enough to access AOL from my Mom's Packard Bell PC, and use Internet Explorer to write some articles on Uncyclopedia about it. I hope to one day destroy capitalism and bring about Communism so that Orion Blastar will be forced to work as a computer programmer and be paid the same as me, a burger flipper, slacker, emo whiney clerk, who does too much illicit drugs and cannot get a date with the member of the opposite or same sex because I'm a narcisistic, self-absorbed, sociopathic, left-wing whiner who lives in his mother's trailer and dropped out of high school because Timothy Leary told me to while I was doing LSD in the janitor's closet and hallucinated him. Waaa waaa waa, somebody call the Whaaaaambulance! --2nd_Lt Orion Blastar (talk) 17:44, 21 September 2006 (UTC)

This "whiney leftist biased rant" cannot possibly compare to the unbiased sheer mastery of wit and satire that is How to be a liberal. Thank you for your fair and impartial judgement on both articles; your informative post shines like a beacon of rationality in a world of confounding politics and libbie lies. 206.248.157.216 16:14, 29 July 2007 (UTC)

NEVAMIND Feebas factor 02:35, 13 August 2007 (UTC)


>Complains about this article being a stupid, whiny liberal rant (Which is true)

>In order to combat the previous rant, creates a stupid, whiny conservative rant (Also true)

>Thus, is stupid panda 70.187.179.139 09:39, December 27, 2011 (UTC)

Poe's Law. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 01:04, July 24, 2012 (UTC)

edit New Article

Thanks for the rewrite, it is a lot funnier than the one the anonymous user wrote. I like the use of sources cited here so much that I used sources and cited them on the How to be a Liberal article to show that the truth was being used in that article as well. For bonus points I used mostly PBS and BBC references that are well known as being liberal media sites. I think you took it to the next level and made it funnier, and helped me take the how to be a liberal article to the next level and made it funnier as well. I like when opposite articles claim the other one is based on lies, and both articles cite the truth. It is a humor paradox, and we need such things to exist to defeat Androids from Star Trek with logic errors they cannot compute, much like the I, Mudd episode. "The how to be a conservative article says the how to be a liberal article is a lie, but cites the truth. The how to be a liberal article says the how to be a conservative article is a lie, but cites the truth. If both articles cite the truth, but claim the other is a lie, then both are lies, but cite the truth, illogical, illogical, it does not compute! Norman co-ordinate!" and then the Androids shut down. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 06:15, 25 November 2006 (UTC) Oh yeah, I love the budget graph which shows the deficit going up under Republicans like Ronald Reagan, or was he a Democrat? Anyway it is very funny that the years are on the bottom row, but nothing is on the side row, showing that there is no scale on the amount of money owed and that the whole chart is worthless as a result. Now that's comedy! --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 03:49, 26 November 2006 (UTC)

Ha-ha. Glad to see my how to be a liberal article sparked a response. Of course, being that it was obviously written by a 'liberal' (mostly) it is lacking a little. May I suggest more PICTURES, if not more HOSTILE SUBTITLES and ACTUAL DIRECTION for the conservative neophytes, rather than simple categories of info? (Yes, some of the content has humor, but I think the liberal article has waaay more so far). --Sealion 22:33, 6 February 2007 (UTC)

To be honest it is easier to make fun of liberals than it is to make fun of conservatives. At least for me it is. You should have seen the original article here before Weri rewrote it. Give it time, I think it will get better as Weri adds more to it. Weri did the references, which gave me an idea to do the same with the How To be a Liberal article as well. So this article now has potential. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 19:07, 13 February 2007 (UTC)

edit Approval

I'm a conservative who supports George Bush, listens to Michael Medved all day, believes the universe was made by a God who basically defies all logic, spends his off-days watching Stossel, and dislikes Family Guy, and I still approve of this article. The sourced statements really help. It serves as a nice contrast to the How To Be a Liberal article, while still proving them guilty of the same facts. Nice work. 98.225.17.206 05:32, November 2, 2011 (UTC)


edit Graph

The graph should be updated to reflect Obama. The one on Wikipedia [1] might be a good one to use, as it also shows House and Senate. --76.20.209.221 21:13, July 23, 2012 (UTC)

Eh OK, I am uploading the one from Wikipedia, but it will throw the entire article off. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 01:05, July 24, 2012 (UTC)
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