HowTo:Screw with the workers of your local fast food place

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 19:51, April 11, 2011 by Aleister in Chains (talk | contribs)

Jump to: navigation, search

Ah, delicious fast food. The best way to get a warm burger, fries and a cold soda without being bothered to make it all yourself. What's not to love about it? Well, you know, other than the minimum wage workers not giving a shit about you or your food, the shitty taste of everything or the fact that everything on the menu increases your chances of a heart attack by 45% or more. Well, hey, at least its cheap and you can get it late at night. So what are you going to do during tonight's trip ? You just want to get your food and leave?! I'd rather just have eaten at home than just pay for fast food, get it and go straight home. You need to spice things up a bit; you gotta mess with the workers to make their minimum wage job just that much worse. You say you can't think of any good ways to mess with them? Well, you're in luck, because with all of my valuable experience, I'm just the right man to teach you how to.

The Reasons for it

If you have friends or an internet connection, you've heard stories of people messing with fast food employees, or at least heard of someone having received a messed up order. Maybe, you've seen someone annoying the employees, or have even been unlucky enough received an order that one of the retards screwed up. If you've never heard of or seen any of this happen, either you've never been to a fast food restaurant, or you live in a cave and have never left it.

Moving along, you may be asking, "Why should I want to be that guy that feels the need to mess with someone who already has taken more than enough shit in life?" Well, my friend, the answer to that question lies in the fact that this guy hates everyone and everything in this world. Most of the retards that work these kind of jobs decided to drop out of school to just to spite their parents, teachers or anyone else around them who just wanted them to succeed, and are going to spit in your food no matter what you do. Luckly for them, its not in their job description to care about you, or the quality of your food, only that it gets to you. However, it is in their job description to put up with your shit, or else they will get fired. Therefore, the only way to become even with this guy messing with your food is to mess with his head.

The Methodology

Now that you're on board to mess with the employees, you're probably wondering what you're actually going to do. In all honesty, you could do just about anything you want to them. However, to get you started, I'll give you a few ideas.

The Simple Stuff

Over the years, people have created and perfected millions of simple ways to annoy the fast food employees. Anything will work, no matter how simple it may seem. A good place to start would be to just say that the guy who made your burger messed it up, as simple as saying that you wanted didn't want ketchup, pickles, mustard and and cheese, but that you ordered it with jalapenos, dog poop and blood. If you're really into it, you could try ordering something from one place that is sold at another, such as ordering a Big Mac at Burger King, or a Baconator and Frosty at Checkers. However, your biggest problem from these methods is that they have been tried millions of times, and are likely to just be dismissed as quickly as you brought them up. Therefore, you you should move onto more advanced methods.

Riding Behind the car

This method will require at least one friend, preferably more, but will confuse the workers a good deal. What this involves is getting in the bed of a friends pick up truck or, if you can find one, on something being towed behind the car, and ordering and getting your food from that. When you go to pick up your food, have your friend pull the car past the window and pick it up while riding in some fashion behind the car. Normally, without causing much chaos, you will thoroughly confuse the guy working the pick up window.

The Multiple Trips Through The Drive Through

This method works best late at night or during less busy hours, so that it is more noticeable. What you must do is order and get your food, and then go around several more times to get more food. This method is easily blamed on having many friends paying with credit cards and no cash, or forgetting things. If done correctly, the person working the pick up window will notice you going around multiple times, and eventually become infuriated. Do not be afraid to swing around a few more times for little things like spoons, napkins or extra ketchup packets.

Conclusion

Well, congratulations! With this knowledge, you should be able to successfully annoy every fast food employee you will ever meet. Just watch out, your food will get spit in, and after a while, you might get banned from the place. Don't fret though. It's not like anyone ever goes to get fast food for the food. Good luck out there, and don't forget, Have Fun.

Personal tools
projects