HowTo:Repair a broken smartphone
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| Corporate Notice
Readers are advised not to attempt to repair broken smartphones themselves. It will damage their economy, by increasing the unemployment rate.
Your smartphone is broken, you tried to repair it yourself, failed and now the situation is even worse, so you take out your old PC, which is barely a PC now and go to Uncyclopedia to find out how to fix a broken smartphone? Great idea. No, seriously, great idea. You have knocked at the right door, because I know something about repairing smartphones!
Well, not exactly smartphones, but something similar: I once watched my friend fixing his pager, so I have some experience!
edit So what is the problem?
Smartphones are just phones that are smart. So repairing them is a bit more complicated than repairing normal phones. First, you have to identify the problem you are having.
Can you turn your phone on? No? Hmmm... Let me see!
Well, maybe it is not charged enough. See? I told you I was experienced! Remember: the most important thing is to identify the problem correctly. Ok, thanks for coming, bye, hope to see you again! Yea, bye! What? It is already charged?
edit It's probably dust then
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If the phone is dirty, you know, when the dust is getting inside it, like, it can stop the current from running. Believe me, I know this well! I haven't finished my school but I did take a year of physics when I was thirteen. Or was it chemistry?
So what is more important than a clean smartphone? Right: nothing! You are asking how to take out the dust from inside? Let me think. Using water, of course! See, my friends said that I was a genius and they were right!
Now, you should probably take a bucket of water and put your phone right inside it. No, not like this, like, completely. Yea, right, now wait. Is something happening? No? Well, of course not, the phone is not on. You just have to click that button and...
I mean a sparkling smartphone is still better than a broken smartphone! And it is, like, pretty.
But it still does not work... Hmmm... Oh, you surely lied to me when you said it was charged. Stop distracting me, I know what I am doing, just put that thing into the socket...
Oh, well... I am really sorry, but, you know... you kind of have to buy a new house. Now, how is this my fault? I knew what I was doing, that's you who distracted me at the wrong moment! I swear, this is how my friend repaired his pager!
Wait, what money are you talking about? Instead of saying: "Thank you very much!", you want money! But I did not take anything from you. And, guess what? We are not done yet, take your phone and let's go to some calm place. Like a park or something.
edit I knew yours was a complicated case
But you were right to address yourself to me: your phone will get fixed!
Do you have a screwdriver, by any chance? Well, I know that you don't open a phone with a screwdriver, but it is ... for something else! Do you see that guy? Knock him down with the screwdriver and take his phone. I mean, I have to see for myself how it is organized inside. Yes, that's what any professional would do. You don't have a screwdriver? Then I will have to manage it myself.
That's nothing boy, I am not injured. I've been to worse situations before. Like that last time during a safari in Africa. Yes, I grew up in a jungle, didn't I tell you that?
But I am afraid we have to leave the park.
edit Now, let's see what I have in my pocket!
Is this a screwdriver? Oh, right, I know myself that it is a hammer. But your phone is not that good, at least, now, so even a hammer would do.
Yea, the screen is ... rather broken, I have to admit. But it does not cost much to replace it. It does? You are not poor, are you? Well, you can just put a plastic cover on top, this won't be ugly, I even did this once with my computer and nobody noticed!
But what's inside your phone? This big thing, is a processor, probably, and this long thing ... is a spinal cord! Haven't I told you smartphones had spinal cords? How else would the details be held together? And that black mess... Oh, yes, I told you there was plenty of dust! See?! I was right!
edit Let's replace the details
Do you have another phone? I don't care what it is, all the phones are basically same. Otherwise, they would not be called 'phones'! My year of biology did have some positive effects but my father would not believe it!
Yes, I broke your last phone but you really need your first one to be fixed, don't you? And you only have to put a new screen on each of them and that's all. And you will maybe have a promotion.
The details do not fit perfectly but it is not that bad. We can just force them inside and connect the wires. Now, turn it on and wait. One, two... Oh, where does that wire come from? Could you hold it for a second, please?
edit You don't look well
I told your your phone was broken. It is madness to try to fix a smartphone like that. I did everything I could anyway! What are you saying? What "m-m-mon-ney"?
Bye and see you soon!