HowTo:Really really really piss off Bizzeebeever
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Ladies, Gents and Gentettes! Today we shalt be learning the subtle and enjoyable art of pissing off Bizzeebeever in article form, ehhh I mean we'll be appreciating the articulate science that is irritating Bizzeebeever, ehhh you know what fuck the fancy wording. We're going to be learning how to annoy this bastard.
Bizzeebeever is an annoying, up himself sort of character residing on Uncyclopedia and occasionally Uncyclopedia IRC, most obvious and irritating to all is his use of fancy French words to convey "his opinions", his CSS "skills" and his ability to write better articles than me, with this HowTo guide serving as the living proof. So whats the best way to get back at him? Writing an entire article dedicated to how much he sucks!
But make no mistake there are plenty of other ways to "rustle his jimmies" which include making fun of the fact he uses dial-up, his family is all white trash and also point out he is under the false delusion that he is funny. You could try and nominate his "award winning" articles on VFD just to seem slightly more important than he is, and if you want you could even try using his method of abusive and offensive edit summaries reverting all his terrible edits. But enough of the pointless rambling, lets focus our efforts a little bit more onto this never before seen complete guide to pissing off everyone's least favorite Uncyclopedian!
edit Family and upbringing
Bizzeebeever often admits openly on IRC that his family is all white trash with no money. Take advantage of the fact that you most likely didn't suffer this during your childhood. Tell him about all the opportunities you had throughout your childhood and how you could have gone to Yale or Oxford "if you wanted to" and that he never got the chance. I laugh at you from my rich person house!
Make reference to the fact he was abused as a child, without prior knowledge of his childhood or any form of reason. His father was a drunken truckie who beat him if he ever came home and how his mother prefered the love and attention of his siblings and or significant other. This will really piss him off (results may vary).
Also be sure to insult his mother, just so he knows how original and witty you are!
edit Internet connection
It's a well know fact that when Bizzeebeever uses IRC, he is pinged out more times than the rest of users on freenode... combined. He claims it's due to the fact he uses dialup whilst this may be true, it is far more amusing to say stuff like this:
- You make a connection by holding a satellite dish to a phone line.
- You use Windows 95.
- All of your computer parts he got in those free give aways by Microsoft.
- You should close a few of those tabs opened on those porn sites to decrease the workload.
- Get a job and buy a real computer
- Nobody likes you.
As an aside, this will usually result in him getting pissed off, just make sure to add the customary "I love you" as your way of letting him know that it was all a joke amongst friends and you meant absolutely nothing that you said. Remember if you allow it to get out of hand to the point he starts throwing a tantrum, there will probably be consequences for all involved.
edit Thinks he's hilarious!
Oh yeah this guy thinks he's a comedic genius! This is reflected in his collection of features of hilarious content and "I can't believe what I'm seeing" photoshops. Bullshit! He is not funny, he is not original, he is not anything good at all. Then why does he have all those features? God knows, I certainly didn't vote for him. Which takes us to another excellent point, if you ever see a vote where Bizzeebeever stands to gain anything from it, be sure to vote against. Give nasty comments, disregard his feelings and encourage everyone you know to follow suit.
This is an old favorite.
edit Other methods
- Talk page spam.
- Making fun of his lack of wife and sex life.
Sleeping with his wifelol he doesn't have one.
- Pinging him (usually enough bytes to crash his browser).
- Writing articles about him.