HowTo:Rap

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Mcwhiteheat

This whitey can rap, and so can you! Yeah, boi!

Rap is only one small part of hip hop culture. Most rap songs are rhymed couplets put to a drum and bass beat. Originally, the Dj would cut a few different dance records and that would provide the beat. Most mcs use many other techniques found in traditional poetry.

edit Rapping Basics

Aight bitch, aight. See nigga, rappin ain’t all bout makin money and fuckin bitches, but, that is what it’s mostly bout. Rap music is bout feelin’ the beat and spittin tha game, I mean rhymes. Yo.

Tip

If you become stuck while rhyming and can’t think of a word that rhymes with another, make up a new word that does rhyme. Rappers do it all the time, and soon your new word will become an important part of pop culture as every white suburbanite shouts it out while not even knowing what it means. Some good examples of these words are: trill, skeet, twerk, nizzle, aightna, fo-sho, and bizzatches.

edit The Rhymes

Rhyming is a rapper’s best friend, so it’s important to have the best rhyming technique. In order for a rapper to spit sick rhymes, he needs to understand rhyme format. Most rappers use styles they learned from other rappers until they have gained some experience and they are able to come up with their own style.

Once you understand rhyme format it is important that you get your rhyming technique down. Practice writing rhymes down on paper, because that makes it easier to freestyle. Also, make sure to avoid the use of proper English; it shows lack of technique if you do. Do not worry if you get stuck on rhyming a word with a word that actually rhymes with it. Just use a different word! We all love to being unique, and doing so just expressed your individuality! For example, in the latest song by Rick Ross "Man I'm the boss, you don't even know what's up. I be feeling girls like I need a giraffe." See? It sounds just as good, wait no, it sounds better! Yeah nigga, I just change that rap game!

Once you have your rhymes written down on paper, read them over and make sure they “flow”. If your lines flow they will sound good with the beat and go well with cheese and crackers.

Subwoofer

This guy knows what "big bass" is all about!

edit The Beat

The beat is the second most important component in a rap, but, being as though there are only two components in a rap, it is subsequently also the least important. But remember, a good bass beat can make, or break, a rap song. If your song is going to become well liked it has to have a sub-thumpin’ bass line that rappers call the “booty bass”. How else are the girls going to get their asses down on the floor, if you don’t provide the easily timed rhythm to help them dance?

A good rhythm is simple, never complicated. A complex beat makes your rap sound like real music, which, for authenticity purposes, is a bad thing. A simple kick and snare beat, with a fast repeated hi-hat is best. Make sure that each time your beat hits the bass, you are able to blow out windows and eardrums at an super-subsonic level. This makes your rap song an automatic club favorite!



edit Making Your Rap

Now that you have mastered the two rapping components (or at least studied them for several minutes), you are ready to create your own rap masterpiece. Making an awesome rap song shouldn’t take very long, maybe five minutes at the most. If you find that your rap song requires a lot of effort, then you are doing it wrong and you should dumb it down a little. C’mon, do you honestly think rappers spend more than a day on a song?

edit Step 1: The Topic

A good topic is the key to a successful rap song, and in order for a rap song to be well liked by the rapping community, it has to relate to at least one of these six topics: women/sex, drugs, violence, dancing, money, or cars. Any song that doesn’t relate to any one or more of these topics is DOA, so be sure to choose your topic wisely.

Most rappers choose a combination of topics; like choosing both women and dancing, or money and dancing, or even cars and dancing. This is a good practice, because the more combinations of topics you use, the more in touch you are with what gangstas like.

When choosing a topic remember that it is possible to create a song about nothing. For instance, many rappers have made a song about what their homies like to do at the club. These songs are overdone, overplayed, bland, and totally egocentric in nature. Because of this, they are also extremely popular. Making a song like this is a sure ticket to success.

edit Step 2: The Chorus

After you’ve picked your topic, it’s time to start formulating your song. It’s good to start with the chorus, because that’s the part of the song that everyone remembers. When creating your chorus keep in mind who your audience is and remember to involve your topic. Actually, those things aren’t really necessary at all. Just make something that sounds cool!


Party2

"Drop it like it's hot!"

These songs are easy to create because of the sheer simplicity of their lyrics. Plus, it makes it that much easier for your song to become a fan favorite. How many times have you heard someone say, “Drop it like it’s hot” or “Everyday I’m hustling” in everyday conversation? You know you’ve made it when drunk, preppy high schoolers are chanting out your chorus in unison.

Aside from the “catchy-one-line-phrase” approach, a chorus can be made by creating a simple four lined rhymed refrain. This approach is more difficult and is hard to create, but pays off in the long run with rap fans. A good rule of thumb is to have your rhymed chorus be as inappropriate as possible, usually dealing with a woman shaking her hind parts or any other sexually oriented phrase or idea.

Another idea that rappers often employ is to combine the two chorus types. Take Lil Jon & The Eastside Boyz featuring Ying-Yang Twins hit “Get Low” for example:

3, 6, 9, Damn she fine, Hoping she can sock it to me, One more time
Get Low, Get Low, Get Low, Get Low, Get Low, Get Low, Get Low


This method of chorus guarantees instant success!

edit Step 3: The Body

The body of the rap is the real "meat and potatoes"; it's the main set of rhymes that no one ever pays attention to. In an attempt to counter-act this, try to make your rhymes as controversial as possible. A good way to do this is by attacking prominent celebrities with slander or criticizing a political figure or aspect of society that you know nothing about. This attracts valuable attention to your lyrics and gives them that “novelty” effect. Good examples can be found in any song by Kanye West or Eminem.

The number one rule to remember when composing your rhymes is ALWAYS use incorrect grammar and spelling. Words should be both spelled and pronounced differently in rap songs. One, it’s much easier to have the lines flow. Two, it makes you sound unintelligent, which is cool! Converting your words to “Gangster” language takes knowledge and practice, but is never-the-less easy to master.


























Create your rhymes, making sure to follow the above guidelines. If ever you should mess up while recording your rap, just mumble something or make up a word on the fly. It’ll sound good and will help you dodge that extra studio take, and no one will be the wiser!

Rapper

This guy is a turntable master!

edit Step 4: The Beat

After you have your chorus and body all recorded, it’s time to concentrate on your beat. Remember, the beat can make or break a rap song, so you're going to want to plan this one out.

The basic rap beat is simple, short and oh-so-repetitive, making it very easy to produce. Using a microphone, a coffee can, and an oatmeal tube, you can create one sick beat in less than five minutes. Use the microphone to record yourself banging on the coffee can and oatmeal tube in rhythmic fashion, making sure to beat extra loud to give your beat that extra 'oomph' in the bass department.

If you're feeling extra creative, try adding sound effects, voice samples, and scratchy noises. Old school hip-hop is famous for its crazy looping voice tracks and turntablism. If you can't afford a turntable, just use an old record player with the rubber slipper mat taken out. This will give your song that extra vintage feel and vibe.

However you make your beat, remember, it's all about the bass. That bassline is key to your song being a success. If you can play your beat, and get all the girlies thumpin, then you have accomplished a great feat.


Step 5: Sell Your Music

Gorillatrans HowTo 
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's HowTo series.
See more HowTos

Once you've created your rap song you're ready to sell it and make millions. A good way to get your name out there is by selling your rap on street corners. When people stop at a light, just throw your CD at them and tell them it's good. Make sure you Sharpie in your street name on the front of the CD so they know who made your masterpiece.

After everyone knows who you are, you going to want to sign with a record label and make the big bucks. Make an album and you'll get it on the shelf of every major store in the nation. Get a top ten hit, and every teenage wangster will memorize your song and buy your merchandise. CHEA, BOI!

Personal tools
projects