HowTo:Make a Fat Girl/If you want to make your girl fat, this is what she should look like in her next half century
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
| HowTo |
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's HowTo series.
See more HowTos
This is what your girl should look like, if you overfeed her, in the next half century:
edit At age 12
Status: Mildly slim
What her life should be like at this age: Having nice rides on ponies, feeling her belly three times a day, dancing with teenager boys at least 90 minutes a day Work with with her to start eating more. Girls like men who are supportive of their desicions. Feed her food with a high fat count, and discourage exercise. She soon with will start to get a plump, jiggly belly. have her wear tight shirts so you can see her belly's progress. Tell her you like bigger women, and she should giggle when you poke her ever-growing pooch.
edit At age 15
Status: Very mildly overweight
What her life should be like at this age: Some teenager boys fall out with her, moaning 50 times a day "What have I done to get this big fat belly? Nothing" and starting to have troubles taking her pants off,and so she decides not to wear pants anymore.
edit At age 20
Status: Mildly overweight
What her live should be like at this age: Most teenager boys fall out with her, starting to go to the doctors about the weight problem and having problems changing from her pjamas and back again
edit At age 30
Status: Moderately overweight
What her live should be like at this age: All teenager boys fall out with her, so depressed about her belly that she asked the doctor if some of her stomach good be chopped off and therefore it looked like this again:
However, she grew it back on again and now she has to by new pjamas and her real gear oftenly(About every two years)
edit At age 40
Status: Strongly overweight
What her live should be like at this age: Buying new clothes and pjamas very oftenly(About every one year), starting to appear on the TV and newspapers, however doctors can't do anything about this massive belly
edit At age 50 or over(This is the highest stage you get with most girls)
Status: Very strongly overweight
Well, just staying in bed all day moaning and groaning! (Except for that she has to buy new clothes extremely oftenly(About every six months) and buy stronger and bigger beds on certain occasions)
Get on the top-??-websites?: Should achieve about 800lb in weight. About 30 or 40 people, say? have achieved more than 900lb, about 15 people may have achieved up to 1000lb but only a few people have achieved more than 1200lb. So it is unlikely that your fat girl will appear on the top-??-websites. Also, don't gamble your luck too much because your girl could die a few months after this period
edit The League of Fatties!
Did you know that girls can get more fat than men in the cases of top marks? Well, the most fattest belly ever achieved by a woman and it weighed about 1600lb(But this could be unproved). Also, the 28th most fattest person(But this is from an out of date website) weighed 995lb at her highest, and she only started putting on weight at age 15! But she ate way too many candy flosses, sweeties and burgers. In the old days, it was only the boys that got fat(Especially in the Roman times). However, that started to change in the 1800s where Queen Victoria got fat(But she wasn't the most fat of her time - It was somebody else). However, it began to really change in the 1900s and you got these huge women claiming they where 900lb in weight or more. Some of these top fat women where born fat(But this only applies to extremely fat women and men; and it is normally men that get this achievement. However, don't try that with your daughter(You might be really really unlucky)