HowTo:Kill a Shedinja
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
| HowTo |
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's HowTo series.
See more HowTos
Try to remember the plotline of the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon games. You've been turned into a retarded Pokemon and been made to join a rescue team composed of yourself and some random Pokemon bystander. You're walking through the first dungeon trying to rescue an ungrateful Plusle from certain death simply because it will give you a cookie, and just as you walk around the corner to rescue said Plusle, a Shedinja walks out of the wall and kicks the crap out of you.
Sadly, this is the fate of all fourteen-year-old fatties who boot up this game for the first time. They now consider their $40 wasted and that Nintendo has betrayed them. As they cry little tubby tears onto their custom Pikachu yellow Game Boy Advance, they slowly crush the game cartridge in their fist.
If death by a Shedinja has happened to you, and as a result you have suffered loss of confidence and cash, then you might want to consider reading this article. It will train you to be able to fight back against the Shedinja, and be able to stand up for yourself in the dungeon. Please note that this does not mean you will be able to stand up for yourself in the real world, where believe it or not Pokemon do not exist.
edit Initial Questions
Q. Just what the heck is a Shedinja?
A. A 'Shedinja' is one of the many strange and ugly Pokemon that populate the minds of Japan and the fictional Pokemon world. According to its biography, it is known as being simply a piece of shell, hollow and dead, but was brought back to life for some unknown reason. As a result, it hangs around dungeons, ready to steal the soul of any other creature, and possibly devour the brains of the creature as well. In short, it is very much a cross between a zombie and a ghost. Not something to mess with.
Q. Why does it hurt me so?
A. Well, as it has been already mentioned, the Shedinja is just a mindless zombie/ghost. It has no real purpose, so it goes around killing everything else. Possibly for fun. Now would not be the time to question its morals.
Q. Can it be killed?
Q. Where does it live?
A. Usually the Shedinja will hide in the wall, waiting for a passer-by, before jumping out and attacking. It is because of this tatic that many relate the Shdeinja to a Wall Master. Both are equally as irritating and fearsome, but the difference is that the Wall Master is weak. Furthermoe, sometimes a Shedinja will come out of the wall to fall asleep on the ground. This is only to lure unsuspecting Pokemon close, so that it can jump up and attack without warning.
edit The Big Question
Can the Shedinja be killed?
As it has already been stated, the Shedinja is a cross between a ghost and a zombie. As such it would be impossible to kill such a creature, as it must surely be immortal and unstoppable. You would be correct to assume this. A Shedinja is virtually impossible to kill because it has the ability to cause all attacks directed at it to have never occurred at all. This distortion of the Space Time Continuum is a trait common in ghosts and so is present in Shedinjas. Even if you do manage, with luck, to even land a hit, the Shedinja has procured enough evil power to be able to negate all damage done to itself to 1.
So if this monstrosity of creation is all but invincible, how do you kill it? This question has two answers.
Recently, many teams have come across a suitable method of attacking the Shedinja, which will now be mentioned. This method of killing the Shedinja involves throwing a sharp object at it from a distance. The Shedinja may be undead, but it certainly ain't bullet-proof. Throwing anything sharp enough to cause damage will be enough to kill the Shedinja, be it a Silver Spike, Iron Thorn, a bullet, or panda be it Fiat or otherwise.
Although it has been said that Shedinja's are virtually invulnerable to any attack whatsoever, it is possible that an attack is strong enough to break the Space Time Continuum and thus kill the Shedinja. Be advised, though, that only a handful of attacks have such capabilities to hurt a Shedinja. These attacks can range from:
- The pyromaniac method (burning the Shedinja)
- The dangerously stupid (eg. running up and biting the Shedinja)
- The blatantly crazy (flying into it)
- The downright 'asking for it' (throwing rocks at the Shedinja)
- The plain weird (throwing a Shadow Ball at the Shedinja)
Any one of these things can be powerful enough to destroy the Shedinja, and allow you to make your escape. Attack that won't work are those that do not fit into any of the above categories.
Shedinja's most unknown weakness is its vulnerability to weather, Hail and Sandstorms knock Shedinja out for good in a blink of an eye.
edit Heavy Artillery
If all else fails, get into a tank and fill the Shedinja with lead. As stated above, Shedinjas may be undead, but they are not bullet-proof, so if anything you should get one of the brainy Pokemon in the game to build you a tank. With the right amount of firepower you will be able to kill or worst severely injure that Shedinja.
Really anything thats supereffective against a Bug-Ghost will hurt it immensely. Flying, fire, ghost, dark and rock, but don't try using odor sleuth and/or foresight since they will fail resulting in you being a snack for it.
edit Other Methods
There aren't many other ways to kill Shedinjas, what with them only having 5 weaknesses. But there are some certain tactics that can hurt them, despite not being weaknesses. These include, but are not limited to:
- Poisoning: If you can manage to poison a Shedinja, it will fall to pieces shortly after. Because Shedinjas have fairly little health to begin with, poisoning could come in handy, as it can take them out in a couple of seconds. Note: It has yet to be found whether alcohol poisoning will have the same effect of a Shedinja as regular poisoning.
- Burning: This relies on the same basic principles of poisoning, but it is much harder to do. If you can get the Shedinja to float over a pool of lava, though, the flares could easily burn it. The Shedinja will also lose attack power as well, so there are benefits all around.
- Spiked Tiles: When a Shedinja floats over a spiked tile, for whatever reason, it falls apart, despite the fact that it is floating, and therefore cannot be damaged by spikes that are on the floor. The physics of this are strange, but at least it gets the job done.
edit Escape Methods
Should you not have a suitable attack or throwing object to be able to kill a Shedinja, your best effort would be to flee and hope that it does not chase after you. It is most likely, however, that the Shedinja will mow you down as soon as it realises that you do not pose a threat and that you have a nice tasty brain. Bear in mind that the Shedinja is able to pass through walls, so no matter where you hide it will be able to catch you. Your best option is to use what is known as an 'Escape Orb', which magically teleports you out of the dungeon, through the ceiling, and back to wherever you came from. It should be noted, though, that the Shedinja has the power to stop these orbs from being used, especially if you are currently in battle with it. So basically you're screwed if you try to run away, so ya good luck.