HowTo:Get on the front page
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Many people have wanted to have their pages become featured articles, but don't know how. This is an ancient secret that has been guarded for many years. I will now reveal it to you.
edit Getting started
First, type in a title that seems idiotic. Most idiotic pages have already been taken by other
stupid cunts creative geniuses, so you have to out-stupid them.
edit Being an idiot
Now, as you have seen from the other featured pages, random idiocy is comedic gold. Make sure that not a single damn word makes sense. If you do catch yourself making sense, at least try to not be funny. All of this crap can be labeled an inside joke, which is a politically correct term for not funny.
edit Inside Jokes
Always tell inside jokes. If it's funny to more than one of your friends, real or imaginary, it must be funny to the many people on uncyclopedia. Share your comedic genius. Don't bother to explain it to the people who aren't "in" on the joke though, even if they ask you to. Just talk with the other people who are in on the joke. The confused people will have a good laugh over this.
A few good examples of an inside joke are:
"What's this semen doing on my phone?"
"I need to get my shoes."
"Don't touch the radio!"
"Your mom went to college"
"You want some fries with that?"
"Oil filter wrench."
(Author's note: All of these were real inside jokes my stupid friends have told in front of me. After some good old fashioned Spanish Inquisition style torture, the jokes were finally explained to me. They still weren't funny.
edit Getting protection
Always pay your protection money to the mods. That way no one will be able to ruin your article by adding humor.
edit Example of a Quality Page
THEN I HIT HIM WITH A BANJO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Humor BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD! Alienating 90% of Uncyclopedia by telling an inside joke they don't understand and refusing to explain it GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!