HowTo:Drive your friend's Kar

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Gorillatrans HowTo 
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's HowTo series.
See more HowTos

edit Riding your friend's Kar

Kar model

A well-built Kar, with full airbags and a paint job. Just look at the upholstery on that beauty.

The concept of driving your friend's Kar is dangerous and can be a very tricky maneuver but when you pull it off, you're in for a ride. Usually you have to make sure the gas is running and the airbags are functional; then you must make sure it's not leaking any fluids, then you're in the clear. Once you know the basic functions, it's time to insert the keys into the transmission and see how it runs. If it's stalling, you may need to pop open the hood and take a look. There may also be an unsuspected leakage of transmission fluid, if that's the case LEAVE IMMEDIATELY- this means the Kar is not suited for driving for a few days. Some drivers, however, enjoy the thrill of riding a leaky Kar, but should exercise caution when doing so.

Knowing this, you too can ride your friend's Kar!

edit Simple Kar maneuvers

Remember to always apply Turtle Wax before riding, or else the paint may come off. Also make sure that the seat covers are on and remember to clean out the exhaust system before you ride else you may have problems during prolonged use. If the Kar is in need of gas, fill 'er up with diesel. Preferably Vin Diesel.
Tip

Make sure you fill it up to the brim, because once it gets going it will go all night.

Remember to never stick a banana in the Kar's exhaust - while this will please you, it may ruin it for your friend's use.

edit Kar models and specifications

edit Different kinds of Kars

  • Pickup Truck: Avoid at all costs! It may look useful, but it's a hog, and will tire you out quickly.
  • Koupe: Very nice, stylish Kar. Ranges from easy to difficult to obtain, usually very satisfactory to ride.
  • Skooter: The ideal Kar for those who can procure one, you can ride a Skooter whenever you wish, and it requires very little maintenence. Even better, there's absolutely no obligation if you get done with it. Be very careful, though. If you accidentally put something in the trunk, your Skooter can suddenly mean a lot more work than you bargained for.
  • Rent-A-Kar: When you need a ride in a hurry. The Rent-A-Kar varies in price wildly, with cost usually being proportionaly to quality, either visual or performance-wise. There are a few rules you must remember when riding a Rent-A-Kar:
  1. You don't know how many others have ridden the Rent-A-Kar, so watch out for germs on the seats.
  2. If you crash your Rent-A-Kar, there are extremely heavy penalties. Be careful with it!
  3. Sometimes a visually appealing Rent-A-Kar isn't actually the best bargain! Some Rent-A-Kars have false airbags, or damage to their upholstery or cushioning, which is a major negative.
  4. If you leave something in the trunk of your Rent-A-Kar, you don't know what could happen to it. The owner of the Rent-A-Kar might just come find you and make you pay for it!

edit National brands of Kars

  • Mexican Kars: Make sure it has airbags, you're going to need all the protection you can get.
  • Philippino Kars: They come in many colour varities, purple, red, etc. and if you get a good Philippino Kar, it will handle like a dream.
  • Italian Kars: Be careful, Italian Kars have a habit of being flimsy, but if you can handle them, they drive wonderfully and can do things other Kars can't.
  • Japanese Kars: Rarely faulted except for the fact that they don't usually have airbags and when they crash, they crash hard.
  • American Kars: Not difficult to get your hands on. They always have full airbags, plenty of leg space and lots of unnecessary paint.
  • German Kars: Usually rather short or incredibly tall, so lots of leg space or none at all. You've got to take your chances, but beware- they have horrible brakes - they don't know when to stop, so usually you end up in more danger than the Kar.
  • French Kars: Some say they seem exotic, but while being so, they also have a few major flaws. They're often dirty, due to lack of washing, and they sometimes have torn upholstery. If you can ignore these disfigurements, they're otherwise a real treat to look at.

edit Kar Care

Garages: As you may or may not know, most good Kars require a garage (except Rent-A-Kars) - they get support and many other things from the other Kars in their garage. It's very important to never ride a Kar from your garage, as this often causes bad things to be deposited in its trunk. Two Kars from the same garage is usually acceptable, though, as long as they're compatible.

Very often, you may be enticed to ride another Kar from the garage of the one you are interested in. Be warned, though, that Kars from the same garage are very sensitive to traces from their garagemates. This is sometimes even the case when the two Kars are together in a garage that neither of them originated in.

edit Kar accessories

The stick shift: Usually comes in jet black, peach or sometimes pink for those looking for frills. The stick shift is very important, and prone to vibration when on the right setting. Vital when driving a Kar with a female friend.

Personal tools
projects