HowTo:Do Fish Impressions
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In this age of technology, progress and safety scissors, doing fish impressions may seem like a throwback to times when people did not have any other entertainment available to them. But in fact, impersonating a fish can have worthwhile benefits. Recent archaeologicical expeditions have revealed that the ancient Babylonian people performed fish impressions on a regular basis, as part of their religious rites. The Mayan people of South America also used fish impressions as a method to ascertain if women could be permitted access to the King's bedchamber. In more recent times, meanwhile, scientific tests have proven that doing fish impressions can reduce stress by 32% and noticeably decrease your risk of heart disease. It may also reduce wrinkling around the mouth for a brief period of time.
edit You will need
- 1 self with mouth (if you do not have one of these, you may be able to borrow a friend's.)
- 1 mirror for practice (see above)
- 1 environment in which to perform (see below for further details)
- 1 video camera to capture your award-worthy performance (optional)
- 2 hands (optional)
edit Notes on environmentYou will find it helpful to have sufficient space to exist in. If using your hands for extra effect, you will also need space to move your arms up to your head. Beyond this, any environment will do. For help on choosing an environment, try to think like a fish. This will not only help with method acting, but will make the performance more enjoyable for you and your audience.
As fish do not usually wear clothes, most fish impressionists do not worry about costume. You may, however, like to paint your face green or another suitable fishy colour. It all depends on what kind of fish you are impersonating, and on your own personal taste.
Okay, you're set up and ready to do your impression! Now it's time to show people how incredible a fish you can be. Remember to think like a fish throughout, and to produce the most impressive impression you can.
1. Open your mouth, to produce an "O" shape.
2. Wider than that.
3. That's better.
4. Close your mouth.
6. If using your hands, place them over your ears, with the palms facing towards your head. Whenever you open your mouth, turn your hands outwards slightly so that the palms are facing backwards. Place the palms back when you close your mouth. This will simulate gills.
7. Do not be disturbed if you find you cannot hear anything. This is because your hands are covering your ears.
8. Get a friend/colleague/acquaintance/grandmother to film you. For best results, however, you may find it useful to begin filming before step 1.
edit What's next?Having completed your fish impression successfully, you may enjoy performing impressions of:
- Linford Christie (an excellent next step for the beginner)
- A Squid
- Stephen Hawking
Or you could even try making up some of your own. Happy impressionation!
- ^ This may, however, have been due to the King's unscrupulous taste in concubines.