“Deceiving People on eBay is not nice”
“Deceiving People on eBay, well, anyone, you can deceive, they're all doofbags on eBay”
| HowTo |
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's HowTo series.
See more HowTos
You have a store on eBay. You still haven't got a penny yet for all the two hours of effort you have put in to getting your things sold. You're annoyed that no one will buy your so-called Abe Lincoln Hat, your baseball card signed by the dead Babe Ruth, your prison clothes you purchased that were once worn by Paris Hilton, and your used toilet paper with a smear on it that resembles the virgin Mary. You get mad, and you throw your computer in the trash and you still don't make any money. Did you know that every buyer on eBay is an idiot? This is the guide that will explain exactly how you can make money on eBay.
- A Brain (If you have one)
- At least 2 email addresses (To create socks which is called "Shall Bidding" on eBay.)
- To have at least a C- average in School (Remember, you have to be smart to deceive people)
- A computer (That you didn't break yet)
- Some sort of product (Even if it's dust)
How To Sell Money (More Than it is Really worth)
Money is basically worthless these days, but did you know that you can sell money for a lot more than it is worth? Simple, look at the picture left. There is tons of features to it (listed below)
- George Washington's picture
- The Department of The Treasure seal
- It has the Secretary of The Treasure's signature
- NOTE that these things really are on a Dollar Bill and would be an honest statement to the buyer.
You Can Sell The Dollar Bill for $1 but charge $500 shipping. The lazy reader would be deceived and buy it for $1 (which is how much it is worth) but would be charged $500 for shipping. OR, you could say the product is free but you must give the seller your bank card number, your credit card number and your social security number to purchase the dollar. The picture shown right is another good example of how to deceive a buyer into buying your product.
Sponge Bob Procedure
It's Simple, All you do is place a Sponge Bob sticker on the dollar and say it mysteriously came on the dollar bill.
Selling A Quarter
How to Sell your Toilet
Shit, you just fell into your toilet. Your friends are over, and they hear you screaming because your so mad about what just happened. You hope they don't come in the room, nevertheless, they do. Your about to call the plumber and ask him to remove the toilet... NO! NO!, don't do that, sell it on eBay, they'll get deceived.
A Toilet Can Be Used For Several Things...
- It can be used as a drinking source, it has water in it, right?
- It can be used as a sink.
- It can be used as a shower, you can wash your head in it.
- Tell the buyer that if you buy this one product, you can sell the bathroom for more.
- If you want to, you can use it as a out-house. Just make sure to dump the poop in there backyard when the port-o-potty is full.
- It can be used as a dunk tank. Now that the toilet is broken, whenever you press the flush button, you fall in the toilet
In conclusion, it's a broken toilet, but can still be used for several different purposes. It's a drinking source, a sink, a shower, a dunk tank all in one, amazing, huh?
|This Piss is being Reviewed.|