HowTo:Become an Admin

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Cravenly curry favor with the admins. This is a duh.
 
Cravenly curry favor with the admins. This is a duh.
 
 
Things such as buying them [[pi]] or [[flower]]s, or pretending to be female and flirting with the male Admins can be effective. Unless the target of flirtation is a [[Flaming homosexual]].
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Things such as buying them [[pi]] or [[flower]]s, or pretending to be female and flirting with the male Admins can be effective. Unless the target of flirtation is a [[Gay|flaming homosexual]].
   
 
Do ''anything you can'' to make them like you.
 
Do ''anything you can'' to make them like you.
   
Do not anger them! Admins have a power greater than any known in Wiki. Many times a user who was being a [[dick]] has vanished from the world completely, never to be seen again...
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Do not anger them! Admins have a power greater than any known in Wiki. Many times a user who was being a [[dick]] has vanished from the world completely, never to be seen again... except perhaps as a pile of [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Special:Ipblocklist pitiful whitened bones] in a forgotten corner of a vast foreign desert.
except perhaps as a pile of [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Special:Ipblocklist pitiful whitened bones] in a forgotten corner of a vast foreign desert.
 
   
 
== Step 4==
 
== Step 4==

Latest revision as of 07:09, April 6, 2012

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OH NOES! Some n00b has deleted all my work....bring me my banhammer.

“Admins and those other shadow minions never sleep, they search out fresh souls for my consumption. Fear them, for the Hand of Cthulhu goes with them”
~ Cthulhu on Admins

Admins have long been feared as bringers of doom, and they live in the darkest bowels of Hell. Some have feared them. Others have dreamt of becoming a Dark One. Becoming an Admin is a simple task, if you follow these directions. Not that we here at (insert stupid name here) Inc. will not take any responsibility if you get banned, but we will take responsibility if you do get admin status.

edit Step 1

Firstly, you'll have to sign up an account at Uncyclopedia. If you're an admin, no one will remember you if your user name is 165.21.76.54. Its a catchy name that counts. Like Chronarion or MoneySign. Maybe even Hinoa. (Please don't block some other guy and get me involved too. I'm an honest Uncyclopedian. Not a vandal.) Oh, but <insert name here> isn't good enough. Sorry.

Also, you can use your name to instill fear in other people once you become admin. Names like The_Motherfucking_Asshole_who_stole_your_first_girlfriend_and_made_her_pregnant_named_YouSuck is a prime example of such a name.

edit Step 2

Size of English Wikipedia broken down

Most of this stuff you will not want to create here.

Step 2 is to create a few articles that do not deserve to be huffed. Find articles like that here. By creating such articles you will ensure that the Admins notice you and give you what you deserve. Your name may be mentioned at their weekly Cabal Whiskey-and-Coffee Morning Meeting and, over time, you may gather support amongst your would-be peers. Alternately they may consider you too much of a threat to their Gigantic powers, and spite you for all eternity.

edit Step 3

Cravenly curry favor with the admins. This is a duh.

Things such as buying them pi or flowers, or pretending to be female and flirting with the male Admins can be effective. Unless the target of flirtation is a flaming homosexual.

Do anything you can to make them like you.

Do not anger them! Admins have a power greater than any known in Wiki. Many times a user who was being a dick has vanished from the world completely, never to be seen again... except perhaps as a pile of pitiful whitened bones in a forgotten corner of a vast foreign desert.

edit Step 4

Step 4 is to summon a large Admin from hell. You'll need the following items.

  • A dark brown cloak
  • A sharp knife
  • A useable computer
  • pi
  • A life sacrifice. If you can't find one, you can always buy one from Lik-Sang or eBay. Traditionally a n00b from the forum or Wiki is used, however. Pick someone who writes poorly and whom the admins already hate.

Firstly, cut yourself. Collect 8 litres of blood without dying and put it in front of you. Recite the following:

Ring around the pentagram
Slice of pi and flim-flam
Ashes!
Hot flashes!
Now it's the Cabal's hour.

Another version could be:

Ring around the Wiki
Admins, admins, pick me!
Ban list!
Iron fist!
Annoint me with the Power!


After this, an Admin will appear. If your potential is large, a large Admin will appear. If you have enormous potential, an enormous Admin (with washboard abs) will appear. Give him the pi, let him enjoy it.

After that, kneel in front of him/her with your sacrifice. Slit his/her throat and let the Admin consume him/her. Please make sure that there are no peanuts, because Admins are allergic to peanuts. He will ask to use your computer. Let him. He will add you as an Admin and return to Hell.

edit Step 5

Enjoy banning people you don't like because you think there're ugly, deleting "perfectly good" articles and generally having fun.

edit See also

Admins, sysops and all of the above
Types Admins · Wiki Administrators · Adminses · In Uncyclopedia · Sysops
Persons Active Admins · Listing of Admins
Culture User Guidelines · IA Guidelines · Becoming one · Banning · Tools · Anger
Utilities Ban Patrol · Votes for Deletion · Quick Votes for Deletion, minus the voting
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