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“The cavalry has arrived.”
“What can I say? You've got me pinned. I've been thinking lately of moving on to broccoli, but you know...carrots are good for your eyes and stuff.”
So…you want to be RAHB? Who can blame you? Who wouldn’t want to be
totally lame cool like RAHB?
What's that? Are you asking me, “How do I become RAHB?” Well I'm glad you asked. All you need to do is follow five simple steps, and then you’re RAHB!
| HowTo |
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edit Step 1: Murder RAHB
Now I know this may sound a little harsh, but don't you dare pretend you haven't thought about this before, I AM SICK OF YOUR LIES! There should be no problem ‘taking care of’ RAHB as long as you use the correct weaponry, but if you do need help, ask help from his adoptees, who will be glad to help you out.
edit Step 2: Nominate your own articles for VFH
When you're RAHB, your articles are soo cool that people won’t nominate them for VFH, so you’ll have to nominate them yourself. At first, be sure to bribe users and/or offer nude pics in exchange for a vote. If those methods don't work out start threatening users so they vote for you.
No one knows why RAHB listens to Frank Zappa, not even RAHB.
edit Step 4: Talk obsessively about your dick
edit Step 5: Complain about everything
edit What now?
edit See also
|1 sentence from this article was originally sporked from HowTo: Become a Top Gear Presenter.|