HowTo
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
|
||||
 Good day to you sir, and may I say what a nice hat you are wearing. Oh, that's not a hat? My mistake. What's that you say? It used to be your beloved pet cat Tiddles who has been a constant companion since the day you got him to help with the grief of your old cat's death? He was killed by a runaway shopping cart? A shopping cart your children were riding in? There, stop crying, perhaps you can use your new cat to wipe away the tears. Oh, he's actually trying to eat your head? How delightful. And your wife with whom you have shared four years of happy marriage and twenty years of solid hell just left you? And she killed your children after maliciously stealing your house, garden, car, garage, clothes and your cardboard box? Oh, the box was to put all the other stuff in. I see. Ah, so the reason you come to me here and now is for advice. Not on your now terminally ruined life, but on another matter entirely. A matter of intrigue, interest and definite value. Sir, step forward. The time has come to enter the halls of the great. Prepare, sir, to kill yourself with a brick. (more...)
Recently featured HowTo: Survive a Robot Uprising - Sexually Stimulate an Ant - Catch A Predator - Make money without getting a job - Five Star Through The Fire And Flames on Expert - Remove a Bra for Wikipedians - Beat a Polar Bear in a Fight - Write a Progressive Rock Song - Become a Playboy Bunny - Go Cottaging - Get hold of a Number Six Cylon
“As long as you achieve that all important reaction of "Holy shit! That thing is huge! Is that even a person!?" then you will have become morbidly obese.” |
Tools |
|||
Can't See Your HowTo? Add It!Recent How-Tos
Find a HowTo Make a new HowTo |
||||
