Hot Topic
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Hot Topic is an intellectually-devoid monetary succubus created exclusively for R-Tards and young adults into the emo scene. A grocery chain which sells emo products such as evil apples, Hello Kitty alarm clocks, Napoleon Dynamite shirts and guardian angel pins; Hot Topic has been out-emoing the competition since it's establishment in 1776. There have been several instances where workers have gotten away with selling their souls to Biff.
Offering only the best in eye-liner that gives a "vampire" look, T-shirts with fishnets and torn sleeves, which in turn creates an uber punk rock image, Hot Topic's aim is to convert the entire pre-teen population to the emo-chic faith. At low prices (you can buy poor quality pants with 10 million safety pins down the sides for only seventy dollars), the store has become popular with kids trying to piss off their parents and camera whores.
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[edit] History
The store was originally founded in 1657 by Edward Hetterling Jr. III in London, Britain where it was originally under the name "Her Majesty's Royale Shoppe of Ye Olde Heated Topique." Local lore tells of young children frequenting the store and often engaging in arguments over which of the Royal Composers of the day were "real punks" and which were not.
In 2000 it became the primary propaganda tool for the Emo Dynasty.
As of 2005, the store is controlled primarily by a family of yam farmers from Pitcairn Island who, as rumor has it, know nothing of the retail business and instead let an internet personality known as "\ /*bLooDDagGeR*\ /" run the entire operation.
Others still know the truth that the store was first opened in the 1980s by Raven of Teen Titans infamy.
[edit] Hot Topic's Irony
Hot Topic, or better now known as G-Mart, is a store intended for individuals who wish to be individuals and stay away from mainstream products. By shopping at Hot Topic, however, these individuals become mainstream themselves.
G-Mart creates an irony of such great magnitude that it could create a super-massive black hole at any second, which would destroy everything in the universe minus Wesley Snipes, Santa, Jack Skellington, the Grue,Anti-Grue, Chuck Norris, MacGyver, Terry Tate, and Mr.T. The whole band. Even Pickles. Especially Pickles. And the state of Louisiana. And Virginia. Of course.
Why a shithole like Louisiana wouldn't be destroyed has puzzled scientists for centuries. Why California, an even BIGGER shithole, ever existed causes hard thinking.
[edit] The goth gathering
Be warned, once you step into hot topic you will be given. . . THE STARE OF DOOM!! In which the goths stare you down and try to cast spells behind your non-goth back. If you are lucky you may witness the burning of the emo.
