Hot Pants
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History shows that it was I who invented Hot Pants, and that my boys have been wearing them since 1952
- -Arthur C. Clarke on Hot Pants
“Hot pants are like pancakes: They're better when they're hot.”
Hot pants describes an inexplicable phenomenon associated with the action of telling a mis-truth. Usually the victim of hot pants is unaware of his threatening condition and must be informed of his malady. People tend to be reluctant to inform the victim of his condition, as hot pants is an embarrassing situation. Adults often compare the malady to accidental release of the bowels, and they may indicate the accident by telling the victim that he or she is 'full of shit.' Children are much more brash and are rarely concerned with the feelings of others. It is not uncommon for a cluster of observant children to chant, "Liar! Liar! Pants on Fire!" at the unfortunate victim.
Hot pants was first discovered by Eric the Red in 150 BC. During one of his exploitive expeditions into darkest africa, Eric is said to have experienced hot pants. Consequently, those afflicted with red hair are often referred to as 'Fire Crotch' in memory of the famous explorer's affliction.
Hot pants can be contracted by persons entangled in relationships with overweight partners. These situations may indirectly spawned the saying, "I'm hot for you." The partner may have voiced false sexual attraction, and the resulting instance of hot pants may have given rise to the euphemism.
Other famous allusions to hot pants include, but are not limited to, the following:
Red-ass, pain in the ass, chapped ass, being Richard Simmons, your ass is grass, and other ass related profanities.
Hot pants has been recently documented by Matt Stone and Trey Parker in their movie within a movie, "Asses of Fire." Apparently the protagonists, Terrance and Philip, become victims of the terrible malady.
