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Horrid Henry is a North Korean-British micro-budget animated TV series and book series based on a vision by a farmer in the bronze age deserts of Egypt after drinking too much Fanta. The tv series is made by Novel Entertainment (known as Ludovico Technique Productions in North Korea) and broadcasted on CITV in the UK, (ITV's poor excuse for the BBC's CBBC) and a bunch of other channels worldwide that not other eternal source could translate, the show made its young viewers turn pure evil, but still not bad enough to break the law and also be full of Christmas spirit because North Korea decided to have Christmas in 2006 during its debut season. It was made during North Korea's occupation of the UK which has been present since Mid 2006. The books are published by North Korea is the Best Korea publishings.
But why is it dumb, you ask? Well, the show is made by drunk North Korean members and revolves (extremely poorly because its awfulness causes most viewers to faint and be sick) around a boy aged 2-200 named Horrid Henry who never ages due to beeing affected by radiaition from the USA trying to nuke out the North Koreans occupying his nation but failing. He lives in a really cheesy and post-apocalyptic version of the UK. He is known for misbehaving to the point his parents threw him out and then allowed North Korea to invade the world after pranking some American agents who came to every town in the UK to warn of North Korea invading.
The agents were so mad they chased the boy until they fell into a lake and drowned, their souls taken to the underworld of Krakateria to be enslaved by the demon goddess Maleovent, aka maleficent's long lost sister. So North Korea took over, and he got back into his house by saying to his parents he'd found a stash of whisky, and is why the place he lives in is how it is, nobody else ages and all sorts of crazy stuff happens. It has never been shown in the US due to its extreme stupidity level and would cause diplomatic relations between the UK and US to collapse, althought they already have so it would rather cause relations between the US and other nations to fall. The book series began in 1229 and the show debuted on October 31 2006 and is still running and probably will never stop because the makers of the show are permanently possessed by the diabolical amount of idiocy it carries. An idiotic, insane and inane musical production was made in 2008 for the London West End followed by a pointless, unconnected, unresolved and unexplained live action film based on the series was released in 2011 which will be explained later in this article because the previous editor just died watching the trailer. The new editors of this article are taking medication to avoid dying. Odd how the play came before the movie. O_o Also there is currently no footage on the internet of the behind the scenes of the making of this show which is quite creepy if you think about it, really this show is quite well known especially considering it has a play and film so wheres the behind the scenes?
Henry lives in a world (or small British town which he never leaves) where (according to him since he's the storyteller, apparently even better than Tolkien and Rowling) hardly anyone has a damn surname and instead uses alliteration. Mostly for names of course, with each word being part of the person's personality such as Horrid Henry being horrid and perfect peter being perfect you think you didn't know that already?! Anyway alliteration is also used in everything else till the point you want to shoot yourself, here is an example extract from the book "Horrid Henry meets the Mask":Horrid Henry evilly entered the super supermarket, there on the outer other end he saw the Mad Mask powerfully played by Jim Carrey "OOO somebody stop me!" the mask yodellingly yelled Henry was unable to stop the mad mask due to the mad mask being superbly superior in people popularity, powerful power, fulfilled fame, freaking fandom and huge humor.
The series may be aimed at kids, but its teaching them an message worse than a cat tap dancing on a clock. It is the reason the UK is behind other nations like the US and Japan through exam results. Kids who watch the show later do their exams but the show had drained their minds of everything permanently aside from being horrid, which is defined as (in the show) as not doing homework, eating so much unhealthy food you explode, disobeying parents who are just random people throwing food at you, beating up your siblings, being just plain anti-social, making stupid cameos in shows like Eastenders and Coronation Street and going NA NA NE NAH NAH which means "I will suck your soul out like water through a straw" in Latin. The exact same sentence was found on a small rock found near Christ during his Crucifixion, which suggests there is more than meets the eye in this show. Already we've mentioned the nsa illuminati and something satanic, what next? Well don't stop reading.
Plot holes first summarize the logic of his world the second you read them. The plot holes are obvious even to the old, (omg the alliteration illness this show gives people is affecting us!!!). In the episode "Horrid Henry's Beetlejuice birthday," involving him having another birthday despite never biologically aging he wants to have a party where he dresses as Beetlejuice and his friends have to dress as other Tim Burton characters or get schizophrenia. He plans to have his party at a place called "laser zap" which is an obvious place placement or copyright place I dunno* of laser planet. His dad gets a phone call from the "laser zap lady" (since this show thinks its mostly child audience at first is already too stupid to have heard of words like "receptionist," "manager," or just "employee") and she asks who the birthday boy is (alliteration pang!) and this dad says "the birthday boy's name is Henry" which causes a huge scream to be let out from the phone which somehow causes his hair to blow even though his world isn't set in one of those cartoon physics world where reality is warped humorously.
- You'll also want to shoot yourself from how many times the character Beefy Bert says that. It's all he says.
Henry's dad then tells him that on his previous visit he did things like "trample on several people," "and break the lasers" (which may of been real) and shot people (yep they were real even when broken, in the episode his mother actually says he's not going to laser zap anyway since its too violent). So laser zap ban him for god knows how long, maybe as long as a pesky Wikipedia vandal...but did you spot the giant logic eating sense sucking plot hole in this tiny extract? Well if you didn't I'm sorry your mind is as clever as the makers of this show (Quick! Dial the emergency services to be cured quickly!) But the plot hole was, if Henry's surname was not told to the "laser zap lady" how did she know it was him? Similarly, in the episode "Horrid Henry's Christmas" his cousin Stuck up Steve (all characters will be listed and explained because doing them all at once will make me transform into one of them) opens a Christmas gift to find its a dress, certainly not what he wanted. But if you look closely you'll see that when he unwraps the present the wrapping on the gift transforms into the dress gift itself. Talk about lazy animation.
Horrid Henry the obvious main character of the show who is explained a bit of earlier. Henry is a badly behaved boy who actually isn't as bad as most kids in the UK are at his age at least most of the time. Really, most of the time in the books and tv show he just fools around a bit, doesn't like eating healthy food and likes to...fool around...that's all there is to say...however other times he does things that are truly inhumane and evilly troublesome such as cycling so fast on a wind turbine in the episode "Horrid Henry and the Green Machine" that the blades came off and sliced some power lines causing a huge damage bill. All the dumb things in each episode will be listed soon but just to say it now, there are two really dumb things in that sentence describing part of that episode. Firstly all technology in Henry's world or at least nation is very faulty (remember North Korea took over) which is why a child cycling fast makes the blades spin off and also there is an interesting link between how bad he is as said above. First he just fools around like any kid, then causes a huge damage repair bill...?
In the cartoon, Henry is voiced by some voice actor called Lizzie Waterworth, who is a 30 year old woman (watx2). There is barely any information on her Wikipedia article (and we often know how much information on the internet there is about someone or something depending on how big the Wikipedia article is) so you can tell this show isn't going to get close with having famous actors do the voices, and the same for the play and movie too. Similarly, if you go the official website of Horrid Henry (which Anonymous and Lizard Squad have tried to hack and take down only to find their own websites hacked and taken down due to supposed supernatural reasons), you can hear another woman say suddenly, loudly and chillingly "WELCOME TO MY WICKED WEBSITE!" who again is obviously another 30 year old, which many would find quite unsettling. In every episode he always does two catchphrases that sound as mind murdering as Justin Bieber's singing voice is good. At the start of each episode he either yells "NOOOOO" before the episode title comes up or some other indefinable, pronounceable or writable sound. The "noooo" sound is done when he sees something he doesn't want to happen but doesn't realize life is tough for someone in a developed country who doesn't want to go to school despite there being millions of kids around the world who'd do anything to go school...oh wait north Korea took over we keep forgetting due to brain abnormalities just thinking about this show gives us.
The other catchphrase is "Eureka! That's it!" said when he finds a usually almost impossible solution to a simple and pointless task such as stopping a "demon dinner lady" from eating his unhealthy lunch food. Man the episodes are gonna murder us all because we've mentioned a few points from some of them and already we're seeing floating rabbits everywhere. Henry also keeps fantasizing about being "King Henry the Horrible" in almost every episode or book story where he rules the world with all sorts of laws that are childish versions of North Korea's laws. They are all horribly unfair and include "all people named Margaret are to be boiled in oil and fed to the crows" mentioned in the story "Horrid Henry and the Football Fiend." And he only would want a murderous law like that because he has an enemy named Margaret, seems quite unfair for all the other Margaret in the world isn't it? Although North Korea's takeover is never explicitly mentioned in the books or show, its obvious they have taken over if he wants laws as harsh and bigoted as that. In one of the annuals based on the show he actually says he wants to be a dictator and rule the world, so yeah he's a basically Kim Jong-Un as a kid. Henry in the book imagining himself as king compared to Kim Jong Un.
Other laws he wishes to have are just too stupid to really write, but we'll write them anyway for your amusement. He hates school, so says that if he were king all parents would go to school instead of kids. But...that would mean kids work first...and Henry would surely hate work more than school...? And then again nobody in his world ages so the kids will work forever while the adults go to school forever...but Henry thinks he and kids should only have fun so really there will be no workers to run the world...so we can't say anymore we're dying! Oh yeah he also would make laws that forbid healthy food and only unhealthy food which would cause mass amounts of diabetes and other illnesses along with only watching TV and no exercise, really can you now see this silly children's book is really North Korean now? If you don't then you are North Korean. More stupid things we can tell you about the series because we just took more medicine is that in one of the annuals there is a story about Henry refusing to go to bed. During the story he hides in a closet in his house from his parents and thinks this closet will be his home forever and that he'll never need to go to school and could sneak out for snacks. When will he understand his parents would soon call the police but to be more realistic soon find him there first? Also both in the books and cartoon he often imagines himself being a big animal or something weird like a hollow from bleach when his brother peter annoys him, below you can see just some of his weird imaginary alter egos which we guess are meant to metaphorically show how mad he is, but never really do.
A very cheap image showing Henry imagining himself as various creatures when annoyed. The bottom left two are hollows from bleach and the two on the right are rage faces because its about time Henry got to the better part of popular culture with anime and memes and stuff.
In the live action 2011 movie he is played by Theo Stevenson, who only did it because the makers of the film said, along to all the other cast members he would be deported if they did not make money from the movie, and they didn't anyway. In the 2008 West End production his actor is an adult who is unknown due to the play being too obscure and all the audience members dying shortly after seeing it. More will be said on these two horrific productions later...Henry also has a vicious pet hamster called Fang in the tv show which in one episode other people mistaken for a rat, showing the effects of nukes on animals too in North Korean UK.
Perfect Peter Henry's brother who is about six years old. Peter is the total opposite of Henry as you might of guessed, for he is perfect, breaking that old saying that nobody is perfect. He isn't really perfect at all because he's done nothing to help political disputes, wars or saving the environment. He just does things like help his parents, teachers or friends with the most simple and lame tasks so he isn't perfect after all. Peter is also voiced by a 30 year old woman showing how out of place a North Korean occupied-often nuked but failed-post apocalyptic UK is. Though he likes being good (or perfect because that's pretty much the only freaking word used for anything good in the show and books while horrid is the only word used for something bad, the repetition is just as soul stealing as the alliteration).
Peter has a cat named Fluffy who does this weird thing in many episodes where he is looking outside at night and presses the remote. This causes the sun to come up, suggesting Fluffy is actually a time god or lord. In one episode he runs away and is seen holding a stick with a bag on it, so he has oppose-able thumbs. Yep he is more than just a cat, not an Iams cat but something much else...
Anyway Peter despite being one of the most hated characters in the show and book by Henry, he still lets him be in his Purple Hand Gang. Which is some club Henry is in (but of course referred to as a gang to show how corrupt North Korean UK is). It consists of a fort in his backyard having a curtain over some cardboard boxes and part of a jungle gym. It has a purple hand print on a flag above it. Why Peter doesn't mind being in the gang is a giant plot hole considering the gang do bad things, yet Peter wants to be good. The purple hand gang rivals with the Secret Club, another gang club that is uncreatively named. The Secret Club consists of Henry's archenemy Moody Margaret and her friends. She lives next door and her club is a tree house that is much more sophisticated than Henry's fort, show this all represents the rivalry between South and North Korea, with Margaret's better looking club representing South Korea. Although of course they forever live in North Korean land. Henry often addresses Peter as "worm" because calling someone a worm is what North Korea thinks is the most vile insult possible.
Another plot hole to do with Peter is that he tells Henry to do things like keep fit and stop watching TV, yet he watches TV a lot too. He watches shows that are uber stupid because this franchise is very stupid but fiction within stupid fiction is most definitely uber stupid. In one episode he's seen watching a cooking show featuring a man who is clearly meant to be a pathetic parody of Jaime Oliver. Some of the stuff he watches uncyclopedia is too mature to write, but for most of the tv series he watches a cartoon called "happy hippos". The show of which consists of some hippos singing their theme song over and over again until you want to blow your brains out. Due to how undeveloped North Korea is such a cartoon makes sense to exist in his country though. Peter also has a stuffed bunny called...bunny...talk about lazy naming, oh wait its North Korean's lack of intelligence.
Mum The mother of Henry and Peter who the creators couldn't give a name due to having to fight invading American troops trying to take back the UK and suspect naming her will result in them attacking again because you know North Koreans right? Along with Dad, who is Henry's dad and has no name for the same reason she hates her son's constant misbehaving, and despite Henry mostly being a typical 8 year old she clearly doesn't love him compared to Peter, but these are normal family values in North Korea. We cannot describe her personality much more since she is a downright flat character along with Dad. This lack of character is another effect the makers of the show faced after struggling to stop foreign forces from defeating them. At the same time all the makers of the show are required to spend 15 hours a week making propaganda for Kim Jong-Un, so that explains how the immensely cheap animation of the show which makes Hanna Barbara look like Disney is how it is. Her catchphrase is "Don't be horrid Henry," which never works, much like North Korea's attempt at making nukes.
Dad The father of Henry, dad is often quite friendly and pleased with everything, until Henry messes around near him where he says things like "you really are horrid Henry" and is also reminded his son is the reason Britain is how it is in the show. Like mum (or mom if you prefer American terms to British) he hates Henry and wishes he never existed. He thinks Henry could be used to warn people of having children as they could turn out like him, but the dictator has stated all families must have children to continue the North Korean bloodline, what a pity. In one episode Henry calls him "dodgy dad" but never again. Showing how disorganized the makers of the show are.
Moody Margaret Henry's neighbor and known classmate (well certainly not a real mate, you wot m8?) Margaret is an immensely moody chavette and one of Henry's greatest foes who is known for being spoilt and having severe moodiness...hey lets make this lame franchise be more interesting by comparing it to spiderman! Since on the Wikipedia article about Doctor Octopus it says he's one of spiderman's greatest foes so lets say Margaret as one of Henry's greatest foes is like doc octopus! And that the other characters are like...oh wait never mind the lameness of this show just killed marvel and dc by us comparing them we're sorry :(
Maybe if we compare Horrid Henry characters to Twilight that'll be more acceptable because twilight and Horrid Henry are equal with the exception of twilight being more popular. But we don't know Twilight (nobody does but the fans) so lets move on. Margaret always gets what she wants and hates Henry and all boys, while he hates Margaret and all girls. Which is typical 8 year old behavior, at least in the UK even before North Korea's takeover. Her club, the secret club rivals with Henry's Purple Hand Gang like said earlier. But the two clubs often battle to the point the whole country is in civil war so they soon have to resolve the problem with Kim Jong-Un. The civil war, despite having only about three boys on the Purple Hand Gang side (one of which, Peter refused to fight and instead offered to help any of the wounded but got shot in the leg himself) and the five girls on the Secret Club side. Both of them made use of the army's tanks, missiles, guns and also recruited an uncountable amount of other people to fight for them. Due to the fact nobody, even Kim himself, could understand why they'd go to war over biscuits and water balloon pranks (yes that's why that do if you watch the show) so all their new recruits abandoned them resulting in then spending the rest of the year in hospital after a failed battle that nearly trashed the whole nation which was already trashed since the North Koreans took over.
Rude Ralph Henry's best friend, Rude Ralph is an extremely rude boy known for using the most unforgivable and horrific swear and insult words in North Korean UK. His words were so damaging the army recruited him to swear at attacking troops causing them to break down insanely due to how powerful the words and insults were such as "yo mamas so fat her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard." This then lead to a never ending war between the foreign troops and Ralph in a yo mama battle, until the rest of the army gunned them down. Prior to the North Korean invasion Ralph got into trouble with the coppers for having more endless yo mama battles with the chavs that lived on his road. He is into the same stuff as Henry pretty much, as Henry is just as rude as he is. Both swear more than Tony Montanna from Scarface or Vaas Montenegro from Far cry 3, but the episodes censored these words for their audience but very poorly. Turn up your volume and you can just hear them under the other words 0_0. Since he is pretty much like Henry but maybe a bit more stupid, Ralph goes to show some lazy character development in this franchise. What a pity for the hero's best friend to be like that. Talk about being a chav, Ralph tells Henry in one episode his mother won't let him play his guitar in the house because it gives her a headache, to which Henry replies with "mums just don't understand." You can tell Henry is clearly an antihero now.
Sour Susan Margaret's best friend, Susan is another chavette character who's character development is so poor a background character in a Hanna Barbara cartoon have as much history and personality as Harry Potter or Luke Skywalker. Her name is pretty much the only thing that can be said about her, aside from the fact she likes copying what Margaret says all the time as if she is so good friends with her she wants her to be her soul mate friend...oh wait both of them constantly argue about things showing a form of friendship paradox, either that or Susan is just scared Margaret will report her to Kim Jong-Un or the police. She has a sister called vicious Vicky who appears in the 2011 film and some episodes of tv series. Vicky is vicious and likes to chase people for no known reason, although North Korean's training of kids for their army is a possible reason
Miss Battle-Axe Henry's weird and creepy teacher whose age is either between 50 or 80. Miss Battle-Axe hates Henry and always calls him a horrid boy because she has no other way of describing him because North Korean school teachers are very vague. Henry often dosen't care about the subjects she tries to teach him like nuke making, world domination planning and Kim Jong-Un teachings, which is odd considering Henry wants to rule the world. Her name is clearly a joke, for what kind of surname is Battle-Axe? Her first name however is Boudica, and that she is into history a lot which is constantly ridiculed by Henry throughout the books and show. In one story she mentions a book she likes about Queen Boudica, a celtic queen which is called "Boudica's big battle," showing the crappiest and most awful possible name joke in any work of fiction that's so awful the part of this article on her must stop before another editor or reader dies.
Miss Oddbod Yet another teacher with a weird as hell name. Miss Cynthia Oddbod (finally the alliteration is retreating) is the headteacher of Henry's school (or principal if British terms confuse you like they do to all the world). She is much more friendly and less angry all the time than Miss Battle Axe since she is much more agreeable with the polices of Kim Jong-Un, though is often seen giving harsh punishments to students if they misbehave such as firing squad from Kim's bodyguards. She has a cat named Tiddles which is an really overused and extremely sucky name used frequently in the show. An old lady has a dog with the same name and in one episode Peter wants to call a cat Tiddles.
Miss Lovely Perfect Peter's teacher, Miss Lynda Lovely has a surname that matches her personality of being lovely and friendly. It is possible she is not really lovely and friendly and may be pretending because Kim Jong-Un will execute her if she doesn't set a good example of what North Korean British life is. Still from the way she acts in the books and show her name makes sense, but what the hell is with "Oddbod" and "Miss Battle-Axe"? Oddbod could mean Miss Oddbod has an odd body probably as a result of nuke effects although she looks normal, and Miss Battle-Axe is nothing like a battle axe...oh well if we try thinking about why these teachers have these names we'll get names like them.
Greedy Graham A morbidly obese boy who is the son of Manuel Uribe, Greedy Graham is known for eating nothing but junk food whenever he appears in the books or show. Graham was used by the authorities to convince more citizens of North Korea to support Kim Jong-Un in return for lots of delicious food to try and beat South Korea and Japan in healthy statistics. They feed Graham just to show him in propaganda posters, but this failed as many people who saw the posters thought Graham was like Satan but fat. Despite appearing a lot in the books and show Graham has never really being focused on by Henry at all showing how crappy and obnoxious he is. He is so bad the makers of the show and books announced he shall be killed off by eating one last burger and blowing up. He also did not appear in the movie since his actor had to be rushed to hospital before his first scene could be filmed and blew up too, how sad :( But then again nobody cares about this character as he is pretty much useless.
Beefy Bert Another boy who may be obese, but at the same time looks strong. Beefy Bert is a large boy who is also the stupidest in Henry's class. Bert only ever says "I dunno" and because of the amount of times he says that, leading to another editor who watched some episodes to know more about him shot himself, we're gonna say we dunno anything more about him. Lets move on before he murders us too.
Aerobic Al Perhaps the only kid in Henry's class not stupid, weird or badly behaved. Aerobic Al is a healthy and athletic boy who is friends with Henry and is quite nice to him. However that makes him out of place compared to the others, so all we can say about him is that he might be training to escape North Korean UK, but he may be using steroids to be athletic since how could someone like him really be that active in a place that's North Korean? Still, using drugs to make himself better at sport will result in disqualification and possible execution by firing squad.
Lazy Lindia a girl who is always lazy with a cockney accent, Lazy Lindia is suspected to be sleep deprived due to effects of nukes as well as constantly having to salute Kim Jong-Un. Her cockney accent is due to her being in propaganda videos to mock enemy forces of the UK, along with all the other strange British stereotypes this show threw at Britain itself. Since all see does is sleep she is another useless and poorly designed character.
(The rest of this article will be written when the editors come out of their comas).