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“homework is boring..”
“It's schoolwork you do at home!”
“wh4t'5 r0ng w17 t3h h0m3w0rkz? 1t'5 c001 XP”
“We go to school all day and then we get home and what do we have to do, more fucking work. Home Fucking Work.”Homework is f**cking jokes.
“Homework is like a debt. It increases exponentially every day and you can never pay it back.”
Homework is when your teacher gives you a paper because they are too busy sleeping or whatever so they can pretend to be teaching you while you are at home instead of them doing it at school. Something that never gets done.In short, it is set to ensure that you can't look at Facebook, post lots of mudkips on fourchan, have fun or go to bed on time at night. Homework is something that rarely ever gets done even after prowling the internet for hours looking for answers on your four page math worksheet.Portal 2 is a better form of education for you younglings.
Homework originated as an evil form of torture during the Middle Ages. Specific details on homework are sparse, because those who engage in homework are much too busy doing it to explain it. However, some facts on homework can be pieced together from speculation and terrifying eyewitness accounts.
Homework is a criminal offense, originally meant to occupy bunnies, so that they wouldn't have any time to plot human destruction. Teachers who give homework are either hired by either Bin Laden or Adolf Hilter to brainwash kids so that they (the kids)are unable to stop them in their malicious ways. If a teacher gives you homework, you must exterminate them with doctor who's darlex immediately, for alternative options look at the how to exterminate a teacher.
Homework is also used by the school to get a sample of your hand writing and finger-prints.
The word homework is derived from the Greek words hom and workos which literally translate as "death by torture". It is given to us so that it can one day rule the world by slowly filling our brains with wrong information and using up so much of our time that it is quite literally impossible for us to do anything of importance at all, or to learn anything of actual value. It is also given to punish students for the low wages of the teachers and to make sure we are so busy working that we have no time to actually allow us to learn the material. This will ensure we end up with jobs that pay even lower than their own.
Stages of torture
The " Project"
Jesus once said: 'Beware fuck of Satan and all those who hand out homework!' Boring homework that contains reading stuff, writing stuff, and other shit like that is highly likable on a teacher's " To Give the Kids Something Besides Tv So I Can Enslave Their Minds" list, or T.G.K.S.B.T.S.I.E.M. Otherwise known as a project these boring pieces of paper instructions are highly likable to have sperm on them. Paper, while you think it comes from trees, teachers actually cough it up for some weird reason. These projects were created by Satan right after God created the world. Then the devil himself created teachers, school, and homework. When he put them all together he got something called a Justin Bieber. Anyways so these homework things or projects are longer versions of the shitty ass hole homework we have today. Most projects are to make you give a report on some one who is dead and did something that helped something. If you try to write a report on Elvis it highly likable the teachers will think your ending of the story is not " school like" This is because teachers give you bad grades, and your already school enslaved parents will see that as a very bad thing. When it just means your teachers are trying to take over your life by putting a number ona peice of paper.
Reading the bricks
After obtaining the required number of bricks, the victim must carry them home and read the text printed inside. The length of the text is directly proportional to how boring it is. All of text found in the bricks is written by a team of top military scientists specializing in alternative torture, and is specifically designed to induce sleep. In order to avoid a harsher punishment in the future, the victim must maintain consciousness throughout the entire ordeal.
After reading the bricks, the victim is forced to scrawl words onto paper until his or her wrist is no longer capable of movement (a derivative of notetaking). At this point, the punishment is considered finished for at least five minutes, or until the wrist is sufficiently recovered to only hurt a great deal but still function. The amount of scrawling the victim must perform is generally inverse to the difficulty of determining what to write, but some particularly cruel torturers have been known to assign work which is both voluminous and overly complicated.
Other stages may exist, determining on the particular methods of the torturer. These may include cutting out construction paper, creating collages, or using Microsoft Powerpoint. Often, the other stages force the victims to evaluate their own work and correct any errors, this torture can cause normal kids to become EMOs and, if the errors are not corrected the torture will force the victim to repeat the entire torture process.
It is said that this form of torture may be avoided by feeding the bricks to a pet, most often a dog. It is suggested that evidence of said consumption be provided to the torturer to prove that such an event in fact occurred. However, many torturers are aware of such tactics and may assign an even harsher punishment. As a result, a new method of avoiding your daily torture deloveloped by Ash Katchum and has proven to work 99% of the time. The method involves dousing your bricks and other torture devices in gasoline and giving them back to the torturer, while having a 30-9001 foot jumper cable attached to the homework and the other end attached to a Pikachu with the fallowing moveset:
Thunderbolt Evil laugh attack identity change fuck attack
The pikachu uses thunderbolt and catches the torturer on fire. whilst the victem is on fire the pikachu in sync with the owner uses evil laugh attack, changes his/her's/it's identity (a chubby Canadian who breeds Welsh Pembroke Corgi's is reccomended as a identity) then lastly finds a hot anime loving girl in the class and uses fuck attack.
In this so called "class" you must face occult rituals known as labs. These rituals usually involve the sacrificing of "students." Labs usually involve calling upon demonic forces and possessions, as well as the inherent risks created by burning acids and toxic fume inhalation. When bored make sure you smash the shit out of anything made of glass within 15 meters and then tell the science teacher that they are fucked up wigga's from Mars then stab them to death. Often times the teachers are witches or warlocks set on destroying the universe through children and frogs.
History homework is a specific type of homework that tends to be larger, more arduous, and rather than causing hunchbackedness, people simply drop them, often crushing toes and creating bottomless pits. This results in performance of the satanic ritual of "coming up with an excuse for not scrawling down some notes in front of your history teacher." This normally results in the raping, and subsequent eating, of the person who has dropped the homework. It is also the cause for the creation of 99% of nerds.
Believe it or not, homework is still done today. homework is assigned rarely and when assigned, none of the teenaged humans in the room ever bother to do it. but if you find a way to sneak into the nerd-ocus smart-ocus (that annoying kid who thinks he knows everything) you will find him either on his PC watching p0rn videos on the internet (the thing you are using now) or doing some self made homework. I myself have only seen this painful sight thrice in my fifteen years on this planet. remember when doing this, to always carry a potato with you, in case of emergency, shake the potato vigorously and hope for the best...
Maths, a very painful subject at school, is often given to some of the more retarded and idiotic children for extra punishment. Some mentally challenged children whom many call geeks will often ask for extra Maths homework, thus a whole pack of normal students suffer for a fortnight. Overdoing Math homework usually results in suicide, penis removal or transformation into a nerd. Some prisoners are fed Maths homework as a form of punishment for not doing their homework which was in fact about Maths, so the Maths homework cycle is one which goes round and round... and round.
Speling hoomwork iss ushully givin owt tooh theh childrin ho fnd selng had nown ihn theh skool, speling hoomwork iss theh eeziest buht iff theh chiuld cann't reed, thenn iht's ay lawng, lawng storee.
This type of homework is not that common and is also known as "The Cardey". This kind of homework is normally used because the teacher thinks that he is teaching English but actually its P.E. So his solution is giving people 1 page essay to write a bout how you can improve your fitness in P.E. This kind of torture first started in the 1200s A solution for this homework is smacking the shit out of your teacher and shouting in his ear that this is P.E. NOT English and that if he likes essays then he can go write a 60 page essay on how to suck your own dick.
Homework has evolved from schoolwork, although some fundamentalist fanatical Muslims believe that homework was simply created through the magical powers of teachers. Schoolwork is a brick that is handed to a student during school, and words are supposed to be scrawled down during school, but due to unfair detentions, Teletubbies, gas chambers, Metallica fans, and Russian goldfish, this schoolwork is often sent home with the student, hence the theory of evolution. By this stage, the schoolwork is fully fledged homework. Eyewitnesses claim that this schoolwork adds to the pile of homework the student is already carrying home, and that this often leads to the contraction of Super AIDS, or listening to emo music. Both of these things usually cause death, hence, why there are cemeteries in most schools.
Considered the 'Boss Level' of all homeworks, this normally takes weeks to complete. It may be set just before a holiday (see above), which it usually is. This takes away the relaxing and enjoyable parts out of the holiday, leaving only pure stress for the student. Not completing the project usually results in humiliation in front of your fellow classmates, as well as an 'F' grade from the teacher. FAIL!!
Why do 'teachers' give homework?
Nobody knows how the teachers give homework(better torcher methods ARE known).Some think it's for their own good (don't listen to those nerds), others think it's an attempt to brainwash us all into retarded geeks, but scientists think it is because torturers like to see the children suffering and trying to commit suicide by eating lead.(That is the option you should believe)
Early Forms of Writing
Homework was orginily carved into stone tablets before the invention of paper. Students would have to carrey around numerous tablets around to finish their homework and that's where hunch-backs came from. After constant carving some became artists others lost the function of their hands. Today the equvilent of a stone tablet is the textbook also known as brick.
Occasionally, the torturers temporarily regain sanity and let the students go home to their grieving parents for at least a week. These occasions are known as breaks, or holidays. However, the torture-break ratio is extremely unfair, as students usually get 1 or 2 weeks of break after 10 weeks of torture, maybe more. Also, some torturers never regain sanity, and set students homework over the break, thus rendering the concept of breaks fucking redundant, useless and annoying.