Homer Simpson

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Homer Simpson is some sort of yellow dog shit formed to look like a human. He loves donuts and is known for his phrase, "D'oh!" that he says whenever he does something stupid (Which is always). He claims to have a wife named Marge and three kids named Bart, Lisa, and Maggie but this has been proven false and that he just made them up because no one wanted to be bothered with him after he apparently took big fat dumps in his neighbor's backyard. It is unknown if Homer is actually a human or not; most people's IQ is between 85 and 100 while Homer's is 20 because he has a crayon stuck up his brain and lodged in his ass. Many people say he is an alien spy and is working for someone called Pee Face. Many people have tried to kill him including the Wiggles. Homer Simpson's notable traits include a former job at NASA, a former hippy, a former millionaire, a former car designer, a former flower smeller, a former Christian, a former friend of a president, a former assistant to a super-villain, a former Stonecutter, a former US Navy sub commander, a former boxer, and a former popular character on a watched cartoon show, which he still manages to maintain since he's bald.

[edit] Early Years

Homer Simpson used to be more stupid than he already is since he put hardened bird shit up his nose and works at a nuclear power plant. The second he was born he signed a tv contract apparently. Or maybe Fox ran out of material, started filming random people and putting them on TV like they've been doing for quite a while. Nobody knows how he got so fat but some say that he ate Walmart which actually explains alot, like why he likes uncompetitively low prices wherever he shops, alcohol and rock concerts. This is also proved more beliavable since he in one episode becomes a hippie and snorts burnt grass up his earhole.

[edit] As a Parent

Homer Simpson is the best parent in the world, he strangles his kids and let them be raised by TV, he is also very supportive by hating his kids when they use their talents and stealing their money. Even when his daughter gets elected as president he doesn't seem to care. He's also always there for his kids by hating following them to places and only doing what they want because he has to, or because Beer is involved.

[edit] IQ

Officially His IQ is 2(unofficially 0 - checked at Springfield Hospital)

Lol contradictory.

[edit] Death

Homer was killed before the end of time as it was the end of The Simpsons. However, the Simpsons will never end; thus, Homer Simpson was proved to be immortal. However, God said that it would be unfair to let him live forever. So he died in the year 2999 with the rest of the Simpsons. They were replaced by Futurama.

[edit] Presidency

In 1988, he was elected president, following Marge Simpson. He was president for ten years until 1998. In 1998, Jasper Beardly replaced him. He is the current president.

[edit] Theories

There are lots of theories about Homer Simpson and things about him. You've heard the theory about how he got so fat.

• A theory of how he got increadibly stupid is that during the WWII his mother got captured by German anti nazi rebels who thought she was carrying Hitler's child so they used a device to make it stupid.
• A theory about his appetite is that Aliens wanted to make an experiment of how much a human can eat so they installed a probe that made him always hungry, this theory is even stupider than the one about the German Anti-Nazi rebels.
• A theory about how he got Marge to love him is that he went to china and got some kind of love potion from a store who got it from a Norwegian drug dealer who got it from a spanish witch and then Homer used it on Marge, this is the stupidest theory of all, since we all know that there are no Norwegian drug dealers.
• Scientists have recently discovored Homor Simpson was behind the 9-11 attack, like Cartman thought in South Park, so if you thought Cartman is retarded, shame on you.

[edit] Philosophy

Homer Simpson is a well known philosopher. Below is a complete list of his pfilosophical beliefs.

• The Philosophy of D'oh
• The Theory of D'oh
• The Definition of D'oh
• Anything and everything else about D'oh
• Homer has a 13 inch wang
• References to genitalia at the end of lists aren't funny
• This whole article is written by a 12 yr old twat (More information, see Jesus Christ)