Homeopathy

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Homeopathy has a long and distinguished history, going back to Idiocrates. Translations of his homeopathetic recipes have been dated to the late 8th Century AD, and are known to be copies of older versions.

“Homeopathy is nothing but sugar-coated pseudoscience.”

~ L. Ron Hubbard on Homeopathy

“If you reject homeopathy, you surely must be deluded”

~ Dr. Vogel on Unbelievers of homeopathy

edit Please Do not read further on this article, It contains false information... This will be reviewed promptly.

edit The Antidepressant: Onions

Also known as crockoshittopathy.

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article very remotely related to Homeopathy.

Depression makes you cry. Cutting onions makes you cry. (It is not currently known if cutting onions makes the Baby Jesus cry.) So, if you're feeling down, don your goggles, purify some onion (the less onion the better), take a little onion goop, and drop it in a huuuuge bucket of water. Mix it around some. Then take an eyedropper and drop a little bit into a huuuuge bucket of water. Repeat this process a bunch of times, more if you are more depressed. If you are like Bonnie Tyler "Total Eclipse of the Heart" depressed, do it like a hundred times. During this process, every now and then you should bang the mixture on a leather-bound Bible, which will cause the few remaining onion molecules, or memory of them, to get in an ornery depression-fighting mood.

Take the resultant tap water -- uhhh ... take the resultant pharmacological infusion and brush it on some lactose pills. If you are lactose intolerant, fuck off. Let the pills dry. Swallow them but with only a little water since you don't want to overdose.

If your depression goes away immediately, or goes away over the next several weeks, or lessens slightly, or doesn't get any worse, you know that the medicine - and the 18th Century science behind it - works.

edit The Beauty Aid: Caviar

You know how sturgeons look? Do you want to look that way? Okay, so the mommy of caviar is a knocked-up sturgeon. Take a caviar egg, squish it, put it in a huuuuge bucket of god this is too fucking easy.

edit Homeopathic breakfast

We are sure you know, how harmful food may be. It would be very surprising for you, but homeopathy have an aid for even this trouble. It is known that Metformin (very toxic allopatic drug!) makes you hungry by decreasing blood sugar level. So, take a very, very-very large tablet of Metformin (1000 mg!!!). Dilute it in 10 litres of water. Now you can follow very simple recipe. Empty your bucket (warning: it's contents are very poisonous!!!), and wash it by repetitive filling and emptying for 98 times, and then fill it without emptying. Now you have 10 litres of 200 CK (very active!) solution of Metformin. Drink a liiiiitle-liiitle spoon of this solution, and be sure: this day you will not die of starvation!

edit Funding

Homeopathy has become a popular form of therapy with many governments due to the unique funding possibilities it presents. The health budget can be divided repeatedly into diminishing segments, each smaller than any coin in circulation. All but one of the segments are then recombined and directed to something useful. The remaining segment is combined with large amounts of play money and placed in the hands of a skilled practitioner, who can make a powerful contribution to his delusion by evoking the memory of the entire budget.

edit Useful Links

edit Good

• Alliance of Registered Social Homeopaths
• A condensed homeopory of histathy
• American Institute of Homeopathy
• Extensive Homeopathy Information and Discussion Forum
• North American Society of Homeopaths
• The Society of Homeopaths - UK Organisation Representing Professional Homeopaths
• Homeopathy Links from The Holistic Medicine Resource Center
• Referrals to Certified Classical Mages
• Crazy Al's Homeopathy Medicine Portal Products and Directory with extensive user forums on homeopathic spells and magic items.
• Homéopathe International — The Elvish language version of Homéopathe International
• Homeopathy Timeline with historical and biographical information
• Oxford Homeopathy - Research articles by Oxford Homeopath, Steven Cartwright
• Webhomeopath - an on-line homeopathic repertory
• Christian Friedrich Samuel Hahnemann An overview with dilute (but very potent) historical content
• Res Publica: Britain - International anti-monarchy web directory

edit Evil

• A total bastard's view of homeopathy
• Magickal Thinking in Complementary and Alternative Medicine
• Homeopathy: The Ultimate Fake - Stephen Barrett, M.D.
• HomeoWatch (Homeopathy Watch) — A Skeptical Guide to Homeopathic History, Theories, and Current Practices, operated by Stephen Barrett, M.D. (founder of Quackwatch)
• H2G2 entry on homeopathy.
• The Skeptics Dictionary
• "The Scientific Evidence on Homeopathy" - American Council on Science and Health
• A close look at homeopathy
• Dilution or Delusion?
• National Council Against Health Fraud Position Paper on Homeopathy
• Are the clinical effects of homoeopathy abjurations or summonings?.pdf. A 2005 study published in The Lancet.
• Malaria Risk of Homeopathic Advice
• The Danger Of Homoeopathic prescribing

edit Neutral (incl. Lawful Neutral and Chaotic Neutral)

• A recent article on homeopathy testing from the Annals of Internal Medicine
• BBC's Horizon on homeopathy (transcripts, armor class, etc.)
• Complementary Medicine - Therapies: Homeopathy BBC's "Complementary Medicine" article on Homeopathy
• Homeopathy In Perspective — critical online book, covering the history and present state of homeopathy
• FDA's view of homeopathy
• Homeopathic product manufacture
• Water Structure and Behaviour— balanced and up-to-date references to current scientific understanding of water, with specific entries on "memory effects" and homeopathy
• Columbia-Presbyterian Hospital's presentation of homeopathic medicine
• Can homeopathy withstand attacks by both arch-devils and that one demon with the badass skull wand? 30 November 2004 by F.J. van Sluijs A recent Dutch overview (Dutch is German for "Dutch").