Home and Away
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“I never used to watch this show, but now that they have girls kissing each other, I cant get enough of it!”
“Whoops, I was looking for Neighbours”
Home and Away is an Australian reality TV documentary, following the lives of the actors in Australian TV drama Neighbours, with which it should not be confused, and vice versa. It should also be confused with the Australian soap opera also called Neighbours. A third TV show, entitled Home and Neighbours, is currently in production, but recommendations for confusion of this have not yet been made.
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[edit] The Meaning of "Home and Away"
The show has it's title because half of the characters in the series are currently away, while the others, of course, are at home. So yes, the show is pretty boring, but they did add in that lesbian story line to pick up viewers, and hell now everyone watches it!
[edit] Scriptwriting and direction
Since its debut in 1974, it has been written by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe and directed by Stanley Kubrick. The show is noted for its hard-hitting commentary on social dysfunction, dealing with such issues as drug abuse, alcoholism, rape, sleeping, underage drinking, racism, eating pretzels, trailer trash, forgetting things, obesity, going to school, racism, cults, going to Adelaide, racism, fashion, cheesemaking and racism.
[edit] Moral issues and allegory
The only 'black' character, Alf 'Strike me flamin' 'andsome' Stewart, is in fact played by the white actor Sir John Gielgud. The UN Convention on Actors' Rights has repeatedly condemned this situation. As a snub to the UN, several episodes have featured Alf Stewart performing derogatory stereotypical 'black' actions like rapping, carrying suitcases and shizzling his nizzle.
Goethe's writing frequently presents characters with tortuous dualistic Faustian dilemmas; a particularly long-running example of this is the interminable indecisiveness of Stefan Dennis (played by 1997 Academy Award-winner Sir Charles Woodgang, GBE) about whether to have a beer at home or go to the surf club. The moral consequences of each, either and both actions are debated by Dennis's inner voices until the character has driven himself to such mental turmoil that his right leg falls off.
In a slightly famous interview in 1988, actor Terry Waite revealed that many episodes were allegorical. According to Waite, episode #2077, in which Waite's character Jim Robinson discovers his brother's car keys down the back of a sofa, is an allegory of Albert Camus's 1930 existential comedy La Peste ('The Pest').
Other allegorical episodes have apparently covered the invention of the steam engine (#733), the Second World War (#901-#902), the assassination of John F Kennedy (#1301) and the Spice Girls' split (#1677).
The 2000th episode, aired on 23rd January 2005, was celebrated by having each character deliver their lines through a kazoo.
[edit] Theme Song
You know we live by the beach
You know we are not neighbours
No matter where you are,
the surf club or the diner
Always rootin everyone
never keepin close
I want to go oh oh,
Away each day, Home and Away
[edit] Controversy
In 1984 the show courted controversy.
[edit] Cameo appearances
Saudi actor Osama bin Laden made his screen debut on the show in 1992, playing the character 'Jason Donovan' in a hospital scene. He was shown hooked up to a dialysis machine and had only one line ("I would have, but there was no sherbet").
Croquet legend Sir Donald Bradman also appeared in an episode in 1954. In a non-speaking role, he was seen holding towels for then lead actor Søren Kierkegaard. Bradman's role has since been taken over by towel-holding specialist Ricky Martin, who has appeared as the same (unnamed) non-speaking character in every subsequent episode.
[edit] Famous ex-stars
A number of now famous actors once graced the shores of Summer Bay. Lil' Lleyton Hewitt and his wife Bec Cartwheel won the Australian Open Mixed Doubles Tennis Final during a live to air broadcast during Home and Away's timeslot.
[edit] Characters
Alf 'flaming galah' Stewart- golden oldie still not over Alssa
Colleen Stewart- busybody loves gossip annoying as shit
Irene Roberts- ex alkie loves kids lets anyone live with her
Leah Patterson- lost all husbands/boyfriends through death or they just left her poor bitch
Miles Copeland- was a tramp although still looks like one. Kirsty's doormat.
Kirsty Philips- lying is second nature to breathing. Treats Miles like shit.
Ollie Philips- cutest child in a soap ever.
Jai- mopes over Annie god knows why.
Martha 'Marthorse/Barfa' Holden-every storyline somehow involves her teeth stick out like she has had a piano shoved in her gob. Annoying.
Hugo Austin- Martha's bitch. Potentially dodgy basterd.
Xavier Austin- no more than Ruby's handbag. The furniture used on the show has more personality and charisma than him.
Brendon Austin- Hugo and Xaviers brother very adorable
Ross Buckton- don't tell him your secrets he has a tendency to let them slip
Charlie 'Chuckles' Buckton- cop likes herself some minge recently told Ruby (her sister) she is actually her mum.
Ruby Buckton- Charlie's sister/daughter likes collecting handbags
Angelo 'Wart' Rosetta- Charlies doormat. copper who killed Jack although probably didn't - smug self rightous basterd.
Morag Bellingham- everyones lawyer only ginger in the bay
Aden Jeffries- hottest guy ever to appear in h&a when he is sad makes the most adorable faces.
Nicole Harris- Paris Hilton wannabe likes older men well any men really. at least she is not as annoying as when she was in Neighbours.
Geoff Campbell- annoying God lover hypocrite Ruby's handbag No.2
Annie Campbell- another annoying God lover has loads of blokes chasing her god knows why
Tony Holden- bit boring runs the gym
Rachel Holden- Loves babies now she's got one!
