Hitler has only got one ball

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“Ach! Meinen ball ist nicht hier!”

~ Hitler on his ball

“Some people vin der Tour de France, I kill der Juden.”

~ Hitler on Lance Armstrong

“Vhere ist mine owner?!?!?!”

~ Hitler's ball on Hitler

“Hitler's only got one ball, ding-da, ding-da...”

~ children on the above quote

“No wonder he was so pissed off at the Jews!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Hitler's one ball

Hitler really did have only one ball (this was why he was so angry all the time). This also explains his hatred of Jews, as he was aware at the time that Jews had two balls, but was not aware everyone else other than the Jews had two. Idiot. See what Wikipedia has to say about it.

[edit] Time management

hilter, he only had one ball.... the other, was hanging on the wall... his mother, the dirty bugger.. she chopped it off, when he was smalllll

hitler hated the jews because they had to balls.. and he though if he killed them everyone else would only have one ball. IDIOT!!!! BAHAHAHA

[edit] Actual historical note

The autopsy performed by the Red Army pathologists on Hitler's body... [produced clear] findings:

The left testicle could not be found either in the scrotum or on the spermatic cord inside the inguinal canal, or in the small pelvis...

[edit] Variants of the lyrics

This purported original version is interesting in that Göring has the one ball and Hitler apparently has two:

Göring has only got one ball

Hitler's [are] so very small

Himmler's so very similar

And Goebbels has noballs at all!

That it starts with Göring and the musical comedy word play of rhyming Goebbels with "noebbels" both argue in favour of this being a very early version.

Variant number 1

Hitler has only got one ball,

Göring has two but very small,

Himmler has something sim'lar,

But poor old Goebbels has no balls at all.

Variant number 2

Hitler has only got one ball,

The other is in the Albert Hall

His mother, the dirty bugger,

Cut it off when he was small.

A second verse is sometimes added:

She threw it into a great big tree

It fell in-to the deep blue sea

The fishes grabbed their dishes

And ate scallops and bollocks for tea

A further variant on the above second verse:

She tied it upon a conker tree

The wind came and blew it out to sea

The fishes got out their dishes

And had scallops and bollocks for tea

One more variant on that second verse:

She threw it over Germany,

It landed in the deep blue sea,

The fishes got out their dishes,

And had scallops and bollocks for tea.

Variant number 3

Frankfurt has only one beer hall,

Stuttgart, die München all on call,

Munich, vee lift our tunich,

To show vee "Cherman" have no balls at all.

Variant number 4

Hitler has only got one ball,

The other is in the old town hall,

His mother, she pinched the other,

Now Hitler ain't got none at all!

Variant number 5

Hans Otto is very short, not tall,

And blotto, for drinking Singhai and Skol.

A "Cherman", unlike Bruce Erwin,

Because Hans Otto has no balls at all.

Variant number 6 In Thomas Pynchon's novel V., the following variant is sung by British artillerymen in Malta in 1940.

Hitler has only one left ball

Göring has two but they are small.

Himmler was somewhat similar

And poor old Goebbels has no balls at all

Variant number 7

Hitler, he only had one ball

Göring had two but very small

Himmler, had something sim'lar

And only Goeballs had no-balls at all.

Variant number 8 (as used live by Bette Midler):

Hitler had only one big ball

Göring had two but they were small

Himmler had something sim'lar

And poor old Goeballs had no balls at all.

Variant number 9

Hitler has only one left ball,

Goebbels has two but they're quite small

Himmler has something sim'lar,

And Mussolini hasn't any at all!

Variant number 10

Hitler has only one brass ball,

The other, is hanging on the wall

His mother, the dirty bugger,

Cut it off when he was small!

Variant number 11

Hitler - he only has one ball

Hitler - the other's on the wall

Himmler - has something sim'lar

And Stalin has no balls at all

Variant number 12

Hitler has only got one ball

Göring has two but rather small

Himmler has something sim'lar

And Doctor Göbbels has no-balls at all.

Variant number 13

Hitler, he only has one ball

Maybe he has two but very small

Hitler, would be much simpler

If he didn't have any at all.

Variant number 14

Hitler, had only one left ball

Göring had two but oh so small

Himmlet had something sim'lar

But poor old Göbbels had no balls at all.

Variant number 15

Hitler, has only got one ball

Rommel had two but were very small

Himmler had something sim'lar

But poor old Göbbels had no balls at all

Introductory Verse (Sung to the tune of Land of Hope and Glory, and followed by some variant of this rhyme.)

Land of soap and water,

Hitler's having a bath.

Churchill's looking through the keyhole,

Having a jolly good laugh

Be..e..e..e..cause...

Hitler — has only [etc]

hitler only has one ball

the outher is in the albert hall

his mouther the dirty bugger blue it off when hitler was small with a sub mashinegun

Variant number 16

Hitler, was quite a nasty c**t

Viscious, but not quite like James Blunt

His victims - won't have to listen

to sh*t songs by that musical runt