Perhaps the best band in Human History.

For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about History of The Beatles.
“We all live in the Yellow Submarine, Yellow Submarine, Yellow Submarine!”
“The Beatles are the best type of people in history... maybe.”
“People tell me that Early 60s Beatles were better, but even they had drugs.”
“I can tell that the Beatles will end soon.”
~ Fortune Teller

The History of The Beatles tells a good story and some of it's very interesting. Some is good, some overflows with drugs if you like "Magical Mystery Tour". The Beatles have mixed reviews on these parts of history. Just remember not to do drugs when talking about Beatles stuff between 1967 and 1970.

The Beginning (1960-1963)Edit

Heilige Walburga im St. Peter (München)

Pete Best's Old Clock

The History of the Beatles traces back to 1957, when John Lennon formed a band named "The Quarrymen". He later invited his friends, Paul McCartney and George Harrison to join the band in which they accepted. This marks the start of The Beatles' History.

In the Late 50s and Early 60s, The Quarrymen went through numerous name changes such as "The Silver Beatles", "The John Beatles" and The Reeperbahn Beatles, but eventually landed with "The Beatles". The original fab four were John Lennon for the vocal and bass, Paul McCartney for the bass, George Harrison for the Sitar bass again, and Pete Best as the drummer.

Betwen 1960 and 1962, the Beatles would do a number of live concerts. A good example is the 1961 Hamburg Live Concert, where the Beatles performed "My Bonnie" to German crowds in Hamburg and jerked off.


Pete Best, 1980s.

In 1962, the Beatles recorded their first Single, "Love Me Do". It was originally planned for Pete Best to keep going, and, surprising enough, also even sing, but soon enough, John found a rather smaller bloke whose name was Ringo Starr. He opted for Ringo to do the drums instead of Pete. When the news was finally explained to Pete, however, he ran out the studio after the words "Replaced with Ringo" was heard. Despite this, "Love Me Do" was a huge hit, and would be #3 on the UK charts for Weeks. Their success would only grow bigger from this point onwards.

Please Please Me (1963)Edit


History often forgets this capture, taken on April 1963

Having spent the last 3 years with trial and error, the Beatles decided to record their first album.

First, they had to find a record company to produce the Album. After spending like 68 hours finding, they almost gave up until they found Parlophone. These guys would publish the album in the UK. On top of that, they were even going to sell it in the US until the name "Capitol" because they couldn't spell "Capital" properly.

Parlophone would produce the albums until 1968 with the "White Album". By then, Parlophone wasn't needed so the Beatles created their own company known as A Paul Corps. They then shortened it down to Apple Corps.

Regurgitating The Beatles

A canceled prototype for the Please Please Me album cover.

During this time the Beatles were starting to attract more and more. Although, they only had one song with Ringo. The whole album took about 10303 hours to record despite the process of a song for them being quite simple. No-one knows why it seemed to take that long though.

The album was released on March 1963. It was an instant success in the UK (and later the US). But since this was only 3 years into the band's history, people weren't quite familiar with these people. This explains why it took until 1965 until they gained the height of their fanbase.

With the Beatles (1963)Edit

Without The Beatles

A very unimportant album cover.

With the Beatles was created by copying the last album and changing it just enough to make people happy. Not much actually needs to be said other than it was a success and was released in Late 1963.

A Hard Day's Night (1964)Edit

The Remaining Beatles always seem to be proud of how their albums gained success, and this is/was no exception for A Hard Day's Night.

"A Hard Day's Night" was recorded in Early-Mid 1964 and was released in Late '64. The Beatles thought that people would assume that the album was the same as the last one so to give more hype for the album, they did two important things. One, they expanded themselves to the US, and Two, they made a movie about themselves. The first expanded in the US by releasing all their previous albums in Mid '64 to North America as well as "A Hard Day's Night" in Late '64. Along with this, they also asked American production company, United Artists, to make a movie about themselves being chased by fans. The movie was an instant success gaining 105% on Squashed

Help! I Need Somebody! (1965)Edit

Beatles Elf

I really do need someone here!

On August 1965, the Beatles once again released another album. This album was titled "Help!". The album was a success as expected. Due to the amount of success, the Beatles also asked United Artists (again) to get off their lazy asses and make a movie about the album. This movie was an instant success as well. "Help!" is often regarded as the last Classic Beatles album before Experimentation and Drugs began.

Rubber Soul (1965)Edit

Another Beatles album. This time it was known as "Rubber Soul". It was an instant success. This was also the first "Experimentational" album in Music History. Rubber Soul was originally meant to be called "Rubber Paul", but it sounded too much like Paul was dead.

Revolver (1966)Edit

Another weird album, this time released in 1966. The album was known to many as "Revolver". It is known that the Beatles recorded this album when they were excited that they bought a Drug Collection. It was a shame that soon after it was released, John said the Beatles were bigger than Jesus. Despite this, the album was a success and would mark a turning point for the Beatles...

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1967)Edit


The album cover that saved the world... from Blue Meanies in the 60s.

The Beatles are back. This time, in 1967, things took a turn for the weirdness. "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" was an album that was part of the Beatles' drug marathon which would last until 1969. Soon enough, this album was another huge success. Despite this, however, there was a controversy that "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" spelled L, S, and D. This made the BBC freak out, but no-one else cared.

It is often also known that Sgt. Pepper's was the start of when Music became Art, rather than just Entertainment.

Magical Mystery Tour (1967)Edit

Original beatles

Is this the Magical Mystery Tour?

"The Magical Mystery Tour" was next. This album was another weird goldmine. It was based on the film that the Beatles were working on but didn't release it until nine years later and it sucked. Ignoring the movie, however, Magical Mystery Tour was another huge success.

This was also the last album where the Beatles actually were seen by people until 1969. Until Sgt. Pepper's, the Beatles were touring everywhere. Now, they could be free in recording studios rather than worrying about their fans calling them Communists.

The White Album (1968)Edit

The Beatles White Album

The White Album cover. Notice something different?

"The White Album", pretty simple, right? It was an album released by the Beatles in 1968. The band's plan here was to reverse every other song they made before and make it more spooky so that no-one would notice. Paul recorded Birthday first because of his birthday in May.

The next few songs were songs about countries. But John didn't see anything that'd make conspiracies go by, so he recorded "Revolution 9/11", the weirdest song from the Beatles and quite prophetic.

It was all done in Nine and a half Weeks! It was so easy to do a song, they even left out a few songs because they forgot them. By then, they had recorded all of the songs in the Maharishi's Palace. Oh yes, The Beatles also met some Indian Dude known as the Maharishi.

Yellow Submarine (1969)Edit

Yellow Submarine

Yellow Submarine cover. Who even did this anyway?

During recording sessions of the "White Album", the Beatles took even more drugs and recorded "Yellow Submarine". It was originally meant as a single to make people annoyed. But by Late 1968, the "Yellow Submarine" movie was out. It was a hit.

So naturally, with a good movie, comes a soundtrack/album to promote it. This became less of a single, and more of a sountrack-like playaround and was released in January 1969. It succeeded.

Wait, Paul is Dead?Edit

In 1969, A rumor began that Paul was Dead. Legend says that Paul McCartney died in a Car Crash in 1966. He was soon replaced by William Campbell, who became the new Paul. Although this is just a rumor so who knows?

Abbey Road (1969)Edit


Cover of Abbey Road.

Also known as the "Abbey Album". Abbey Road was based on the studios in Britain where the Beatles recorded. John was the person that decided on him with a white suit, Ringo wearing a black suit, Paul wearing a corpse suit, and George wearing a blue stupid suit.

Abbey Road was released as an Album on September 1969 as the 2nd last album that was released during Let it Be recording sessions.

Paul didn't actually know about the songs on the album until three weeks after it was released.

Abbey Road was very successful.

Let it Be The End (1970)Edit


The rooftop tour, based on the Yellow Submarine cover.

Let It Be was released in 1970 as the last album of the Beatles. It started when George Harrison told John to "Let it be the Coke". John agreed.

After Abbey Road, the Beatles decided to not end the band on a sour note and played live on the rooftop of Abbey Road studios. The live concert was a huge success and would be the last live Beatles tour.

Soon enough, they started recording Let it Be as the last album during Abbey Road sessions. They called on USA President Richard Nixon to do the publishing since he was the only one that could afford it. He agreed. Recording sessions were easy since all the Beatles had to do was play some calm songs and that was it. The only song that wasn't calm was Across the Universe where it was taken from the White Album.


The Beatles have received acclaim as the best band in History.

Evidence (in the form of used pubs found near the studios) suggests that the Beatles sessions have been helped by Alcohol in a major part.

Let it Be is one of the most commonly misunderstood albums in Beatle history. It is well known for being the last album. Little known is the fact that this is untrue. They just haven't published the actual last album.

Many historians have postulated the theory that Let it Be was actually the first album of a new band, as it is commonly understood that the Beatles have remastered their previous albums.

Since 1970Edit

The Beatles have made remasters of their previous albums, but unfortunately, John Lennon died in an assasination in 1963 1980 and George died of cancer in 2018 2001. Sad, eh?

The remaining Beatles don't do much anymore... for now at least.