Hello, and welcome to another fine episode of History 101. This episode is brought to you by the KKK.
KKK™. And the Spics® are away.
edit A-dope Hitla
So, let's talk about the nazis. My oh my were they a band of sillies, weren't they? Yet they came to power and nearly won the Second World War. How could such an obscure group of men become so powerful? Well, to answer that question, we need to look at the situation before the NSDAP.
edit Post War-Interbellum-time
The NSDAP was formed in an era we refer to as the Interbellum. When we break that word down, you can say that there are two words: "Inter-" and "-bellum". These two words are both Latin. "Inter-" means in between sometinh or someone and "-bellum" is Latin for the beauty of an object.
So, this was in an in between time, a transitional era between two beauties of times. We however know by historical records that this was also the time between the First and Second World War. Why then were these two wars referred to as "Beautiful"?
I think I have the answer for that. You see, we are talking about German people and German people, my friends, are crazy. Fucking crazy. Bat-shit motherfucking black-man-coming-out-of-yo-mommas-ass crazy. But no German was as Bat-shit motherfucking black-man-coming-out-of-yo-mommas-ass crazy as Adolf Hitler.
edit A man named Adolph
Born in Austria, Adolf was a relatively normal boy. Until he came across someting called a gramophone player.
Oh, how little Adolf loved to play his newly bought records on his daddies gramophone player. He would spend days, listening to the music, taking him to another world where greed, violence and getting schpanked on ze buttomz wasn't an issue. He needed the outlet, because he was being picked on at school. Most kids at school thought little Adolf was "ein puzzie" and tensions grew between Adolf and his fellow classmates. Hitler now experienced anger, hate and the need to kick zem in de bälls.
This was time when Adolf discovered gangsterrap. It was a new style, pioneered by the likes of Al Capone and da Boozebosses, Louis "Smilin' Killa" Armstrong and of course the Original Dixieland Niggakillas. They brought out records such as "Joe Blade, Sharp as a motherfucka" and of course Smilin' Killa Armstrongs classic "What a wonderful world...with my foot up yo ass". Mainly the last record inspired Adolf greatly.
edit The party
From this moment on, Adolf began to grow his skills. He began meeting the greatest of the greats in German gangsterrap. For instance, he had a very close friendship with Rudolf Hash, a very high figure in the Berlin Gangsterrap-scene. Adolf had a good idea in 1931: to take the best German rappers and form a supergroup. A group which could conquer Germany, Europe and the world.
edit The Natural Supa Dope Agent Poppas (NSDAP)
This was the name proposed by Adolf. At first, the group thought it was too long. As a response, only the inituals were used. In the beginning, only Adolf Hiler (or A-dope Hitla, as he called himself) and Rudolf Hash were in the group. This changed when the two brought out their fist record: "The Reichstag is on fire (all bitches hail the Führer)".
The record was an instant classic, drawing the likes of Hermann "Fat Her" Göring, Erwin "Da Desert Dawg" Rommel and the infamous Joseph "Propogandie" Goebbels to the group. Within a year, the group was known as the most Gangsta German Gang of them all.
edit Batlling J.E.W.s
However, they were not the only rapgang in Germany. Many gangs were eager to claim the position that the NSDAP had. The main hostility however came from a group called J.E.W., which stands for Jesus-killin' Exstatic Wreckas. This was the only group the NSDAP was willing to battle.
The date was set. The location was set. The battle began. Rudolf Hash and Da Desert Dawg were no match to the J.E.W.s, but A-dope came back and killed it with this ender-line:
- "Yo beats are mo flat than a poststamp/luckily yo'll be send to ma concentration-camp"
- "No wait, no even that, yo that wack of an MC/Now here, have a taste of ma Zyklon B"
The J.E.W.s were dead silent and feld off the stage. This is widely known as the "Holochoke". That's because after that line, A-dope literally sprayed Zyklon B at the J.E.W.s and they literally choked to death.
This had set the tone. A-dope had taken over the local scene and was ready to take over the world.
edit WW II
The rapwar that soon followed was called "WW II", meaning Wack Wankstas. This term was coined by A-dope, to show how he thought of the rapleaders in charge. The war would however not go as planned. It would eventually swing his way and bury him under his own empire.
edit Joey "The Nigga of Steel" Stalin
This was a very tricky battle. A-dope opened with "Barbaross (I'm da boss)". Stalin could not answer this with anything, because, over the years, Stalin had gone paranoia. He had murdered all his staff, thinking they were "fuckin'" his "hos". This however turned out not to be true and Stalin had nothing to back this record up with until his comeback year 1943.
In that your, he had finally redeemed himself and had a new crew. With it he recorded "Red means yo dead", a very ample answer to A-dopes records. It proved to be such a stunning answer, that A-dope could not back it up: he lost the battle, hard. Stalins record would eventually become a pivotal turn in the Rapwar.
edit Winston "Sigar Niggar" Churchill
Perhaps the fiercest battle in the Rapwar was that between A-dope and Winston "the Sigar Niggar" Churchill. Even though the battle revolved around only four records, it's widely considered as one of the greatest in history.
A-dope started the battle with "Messerschmidt (Fatal hit)". It was a tough attack, even for Winston. It had the elangance of a bird, yet the sting of a bee. It's one of the sharpest records A-dope would ever produce. Winston however didn't plan to grow soft on the German master. He answered with "Churchkill". This is also an insanely good record, proving that this indeed was one of the best battles in the history of the Rapwars.
A-dope however had a problem. Not only was he fighting Winston, but Stalin at the same time. Anticipating a strike from Stalin, A-dopes attention drifted away from Churchchill. He came out with another record to smash Winston called "God save the Queen (for her great blowjobs)", but this proved to be pretty weak attempt to insult the British giant and was not enough to blow Winston off his feet.
Winston on the other hand turned to a different approach. He started looking for powerful allies and he was about to find one.
edit Frankie "Wheelchair Driveby" Roosevelt
Winston found his allies in the form of "Wheelchair Driveby" Roosevelt. He was called like that, because even though he had fysical disabilities (he was forced into a wheelchair), he could perform tremendous driveby shootings. He could also make beats like no other.
Wheelchair Driveby was wrapped up in a fierce battle with Hirohito "You make me wanna shitto". Knowing that he was allied with A-dope, Wheelchair Driveby was more that happy to provide Churchill with the beats.
Churchill used the beats on his final and critically praised track "(We shall fight them on the) Bitches". This proved to be the final blow: A-dope had lost the Rapwar and was murdered by Stalins gangmembers shortly after that.