Hip Hop
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“Well, they say it all for me, so I won't bother with a fucking quote.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Hip Hop
“It is the highest form of poetry and music.”
~ Pretentious dickhead on Hip Hop
“Well, it, like, about, hoes and, uh, drugs, asshole, and niggaz, innit, bitch.”
~ 50 Cent on The message of Hip Hop
“HIP HOP R00LZ!! U SUK IF U HATE IT”
~ Some asshole on the forums you go to to waste time on Hip Hop
Hip hop is an elaborate form of music native to the Black Tribes of North America. It stems from the traditial African (where the photos of sad, skinny dark brown children originate) musical tradition of Call and Response. Hip Hop music consists of one Message, chanted over and over again repetitively until it infiltrates the listeners skull and he or she accepts it as the absolute truth. The contents of the Message is disputed, even among the Tribes, but one thing is certain. The message is True. Hip hop embraces many musical concepts such as sampling, repeating, and trying to be more ghetto than they actually are. All of which are ofcourse retarded and stupid.
Hip hop went out of style in 2010, seen as a stupid fad of The Two-Thousands.
The best hip hop duo is the L.A.B www.myspace.com/lachieandadam
The primary function of hip hop music is as a black tribal war cry. No other culture on Earth has perfected the art of the War Cry to this degree. The black tribes face constant opposition both from each other and other, different colored North American tribes, such as the White People, Yellow People, Brown People, Red people, Purple People, and worst of all the Tellytubbies, and have had to keep themselves on the pinnical of war cry technolagy in order to survive.
Contents |
[edit] Effects of Hip Hop
The Hip Hop War cry has the unique effect of not only intimidating and repulsing most elders of any other colored tribe, but also converting most if not all of its able-bodied members from the ages of 14 to 21 to the black tribe. Because Hip Hop music doubles as a form of hipnotic mind control, those effected by Hip Hop conversion begin exibiting strange, illogical behaviors. They know they are not members of the black tribe, but on some internal level they feel that they are. These people are known as Wiggers They begin to attempt shallow imitations of the dress, speech, and mannerisms of the black tribe, even going so far as to attempt to produce Hip Hop music themselves and attempt to convert others. Symptoms include: buying clothes 3 sizes too large to imitate the flowing dresses of the black tribes, dropping g's from each -ing in an imitation of ebonics(the native Black language), addressing every black man as G (refering to God) as a form of worship, general obsession with the letter G, and th'owin' some d's on it.
When used properly, Hip Hop has the additional ability to bring the members of the fractured Black Tribes together to unite for a bloody orgy where semen fills the eyes of the innocent.
[edit] Hip Hop(Ayo) Technology
Hip Hop is thought to be a form of NLP, or Negro-Length Penis. The secret is to hammer the desired message into the listener by chanting it repetitively in monotone. Testicles add a lyrical, musical quality to NLP by making the repeated phrase rhyme and adding a computerized drum beat in the backround, in order to disguise itself as a simple erection to unwary listeners.
Hip Hop differs from other forms of NLP in that it should not be used for Picking Up Women and Getting Permission to Penetrate Them In Delicate Pink Parts With A Long, Generally 6 Inch Object (unless you are a member of the Black Tribe, in which the Object may be longer), unless that woman has been pre-conditioned to Hip Hop's bowel moving effects. However, you might want to try Th'owin' some D's and G's on 'em. The acronym AYO, as seen in 50 Cunts' song with Justin Tribblelake, is a reference to Anti Yellow Order. Certain members of the hip-hop/rap circuit are in fact haters of the colour Yellow and it's derivatives, and actively seek out to destroy it in any capacity. It is a well know fact that animals that are usually yellow like to lure children into a false sense of security before attacking them, physically and sexually. Most prominently seen in Chicks, ducklings, Pluto the dog and Monica Mailly.
[edit] Recent Adoption by Elite Corporations
The knowledge of Hipnotic Effects of HIp Hop music has recently leaked to certain elite corporations, who wish to use it to their advantage. They often hire a Traitor from the Black Tribe to skillfully create a Hypnotic Hip Hop song which will somehow be used to make money. Loyal members of the black tribe should of these "fake" Hip Hop mind control messages, and so should member of other tribes who do not wish to be conned out of their money. Hip Hop converts are particularly susceptable to these fake hip hop songs, although some members of the Black Tribes have also been converted away from the origonal Message by the new, fake hip hop music. Which has lead certain rappers to claim...
“Hip Hop Is Officially Dead.”
~ Nas on Hip Hop
many of the greatest scolars of our time, including the author of 400 babies, frank the tank, list hip hop as there favourite type of hops used in heady brews such as belaboo draught and sinkaloo skins. hip hops are grown in fields which lean towards an upsidedown arrangement favoured by barry baron von barbarella the three hundred and a hundreth. nice.
