Hey Jude

Day 2 of the first Hey Jude performance. Notice how John is dressed like the Six Flags man.

“Hmm, I always thought that it was called Hey Dude ”

~ Captain Oblivious

Hey Jude (1868) is a single released by the Beatles. It is the first radio song to exceed six minutes by 70 hours. Not much else is known save what has been revealed in interviews with Beatles both surviving and dead. (George Harrison could not be reached for comment.) It is the The Best Beatles Song

It has been speculated that a guy went to Walmart and did: Jessica Simpson because shes hot, William Shatner, Morning Musume, Boy George, Jay-Z, and Fall Out Boy. Thankfully, Paul McCartney destroyed the Earth before this could happen.

Origins

Jude Law, to whom the song fortunately does not refer, but whose name refers to the song, unfortunately.

In a recent interview, Ringo Starr revealed that the song began when Paul McCartney sought to write the longest song in history. He succeeded. Nobody noticed, however, that he cheated and repeated "Na na na na" over and over again. To this day, thanks to the repetition's inducement of hypnosis, not one listener has noticed this. Kinda makes you wonder how we No questions, thank you.

Contradicting this, however, John Lennon stated that the song came about when Paul McCartney sought to write the shortest song in history. He succeeded with the song "Na", whose length reportedly totaled less than one second, consisting of the sole lyric "Na." (This record was later defeated by John Cage.) However, the work was lost when Yoko Ono recorded over the original tape for one of her "avant garde" pieces.

A few days later, Paul was too high to remember his original goal of writing the shortest song ever. He recorded "Hey Jude" the next day, forgetting how the song was supposed to end, and went around in circles, still under the influence of the cannabis. The recording only ended after when producer George Martin ran out of tape and stopped stealing it from the Rolling Stones.

Lyrics, complete with anomalies from the recording

Hey Jude / Don't make it bad / Take a sad song / and make it bet-ter-er-er / Remember to let her into your heart / then you can sta-art / to make it better / For well you know that it's a fool / Who plays it cool / By making his world a little colder

Na na na naaana na na naaa na

Hey Jude / Don't make it bad / you have found her / Now go and get her / Remember to let her under your skin (Chord!) / Then you begin (Oh, fucking hell!)

to make it better / better / better / better / better / BETTER / BETTER / BETTER… AAAAAAAAA!…

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

“Excellent, Paul, that'll do fine.”

~ John Lennon

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

NAAAAAA NA NA NANANANAAAAA NANANAAAAA HEY JUDE

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

“All right, that's enough.”

~ John Lennon

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

“GRAAAR SHUT UP PAUL”

~ John Lennon

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa,

Na-Na-Na-Naaaa,

Hey Jude

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naAAAA,

Na-Na-Na-NAAAA,

Hey JUDE

Naaaaaa, na, na, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA,

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA,

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA,

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

“What an ass.”

~ George Harrison on Paul's ego

“I'VE GOT BLISTERS ON ME FINGERS!!”

~ Ringo Starr on going where no drummer hath gone before

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA,

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA,

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

JUUUUUDE JUUUUUDE JUUUUJUJUJUJUJUJUJUU JUDE!!!!!

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA,

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA,

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA,

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

“Hey, guys, cab's here…”

~ John Lennon on getting the hell out of the studio

“Finally!”

~ George Harrison

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA,

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA,

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA,

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA,

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA,

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA,

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA,

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA,

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA,

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA,

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA,

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

NAAAAAA, NA, NA, NA-NA-NA-NAAAAA

NA-NA-NA-NAAAA,

HEY JUDE

(At this point, Paul collapsed, thus spawning a well known belief.)

“Ah crap, Paul, you got some band-aids? My fingers bled all over the drumsticks.”

~ Ringo Starr on Paul's supposed death

Early Drafts

The Beatles Archives has released several early drafts of the alternate lyrics of "Hey Jude".

Hey Jude

Don't fake a bat

Take a sad song

and make some money

Remember to throttle back on the tart

then you can start

to spread the butter

For well you know that you're a tool

When wiping drool

And making your chin a little drier

Fixing a hole in my ass

At one point, Paul tried a different approach with the original "Hey Jew".

Hey Jew

Don't be afraid

You have no foreskin

It won't be better

Remember to leave your dradle on the table

It'll be a bagel

Tomorrow

And the day after

You can start to make some money

Trivia

• Playing this song backwards gets you the following potentially Satanic message:

eduJ yeH aaaaaan an-an-an aaaaaan an-an-an, aaan, aaaaan, aaaaaaaN

According to Paul McCartney, this is gibberish.

• This is one of many songs Paul recorded while dead.
• If my penis was measured in minutes, this song would be longer. Impossible.

Sequel

A popular sequel to Hey Jude was written by Beck. The song (E-pro) makes an honest attempt at tackling Hey Jude's incredible length, but not quite in the same style. E-pro is a relatively more lyrical song; however, it is not without its "nas". Beck stated that he "...wanted to capture the beauty of the nas, but not sound like a total rip-off". This is easy to hear, as Beck has rearranged the nas:

McCartney version:

Naaaaaa, na, na, na-na-na-naaaaa, Na-Na-Na-Naaaa

Beck version:

Naaa naa n-n-n-n-n-naaaa

Other

Paul McCartney kind of sounds like Aerosmith when he gets into the Na Na's

This song was the first release for "Apple Core Records"