Hentai

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“I've seen enough of this page to know where this page is going”
~ Oscar Wilde on Hentai
“Our TV is better than American TV because of Hentai”
~ Any Japanese man on Hentai

Hentai is a type of tv program very popular with children in Japan. Most say that they watch it every day, although hentai can be enjoyed by viewers of all ages. Hentai almost always uses animals as the main character, as well as many colours. This makes it a hit with the children, although it has no actual plot to it. It is widely regarded that Pokémon is the first Hentai program to be broadcast on TV. Hentai has now amassed many viewers and is at the peak of its success, though it may start to dwindle as people say "I've seen enough Hentai" (Note: only watched by children in Japan as in other countries showing octopi raping 13 year olds is illegal and morally questionable. So stop doing it, you stupid, ignorant person.)

Origins

In 1990s and 2000s, a lot of Hentai can be seen on the website known as YouTube as other strange people firstly found there. However, many of such files have been deleted and no longer accessible now. We know we feel a great pleasure whenever we become Hentai and such abnormal activity is a very important part as a daily diversion. From YouTube Hentai spread through the internet and eventually made it's way to Japan where the leader of the Japanese Kids Channel 'Kids Station' first thought of the idea of Pokémon. The first episode of Pokémon entitled 'I'll Pikachu' was immedietly a huge success and a second episode was being produced from that moment on. From this the first hentai games and clothing were being produced. Hentai has evolved in to, adult movies/shows with nude women and unrelenting sexual intercourse. Many people think it is wrong, but some people take advantage of its rising popularity, and sell some to people on the Internet with monthly payments.


I am confident that these sentences are written by Japanese awful Hentai because they are terribly cryptic and nonsense even for Japanese people (these people are categorized as what we call "Hentaitic" or "Kiti Guy", meaning very charming and fairy).

Pikachu Concept

Pikachu Concept art for Pokémon.

Style of Hentai

The style of Hentai is easily recognized either by its colours, lack of a plot and the look on your face when you watch it. The colours make it appropriate for children in Japan, and the pleasant sight of inhumane octopus rape provides a slice of action to spice the program up. Hentai programmes also tend to feature 13 year old virgins to be raped by such tentacled creatures although finding thirteen year old virgins is harder and harder every year. We must ensure that you look for these features or be strictly punished for showing this stuff to children outside of Japan.

Examples of Hentai influencing culture or My Wild Hentai Conspiracy Theory

  • A good example of hentai is a mission on Halo 2 called "Gravemind." This mission involved Master Chief holding back the Flood. The Hentai comes in at the end of this chapter of the adventure, in which Cortana is left trapped and alone with the leader of the Flood, The Gravemind, which is a big tentacle monster. Mabye Halo Hentai movies will be coming to theatres near you!
  • Spider-Man's arch nemisis Doctor Octopus or DocOc is a big mechanical octopus human, and I bet he raped someone in an episode of a hentai show.

Oh alright, I admit it: I am plucking at thin air. Mabye people just like Octopuses.

Animal/Human Rights Activists

Many Activists are object to Hentai because of its cruelty to animals/humans, of course I am object to activists but that is another story. Over 7 octopuses per month are taken for hentai shows, this means that 56 virgins are needed per month for every tentacle. They are thrust into the burning light of television studios given little water to swim around in as well as tiny amounts of food to eat. After this they are raped by octopuses for the TV show. Charities involved in animal rights ask for donations however we advise against this, if you donate once they keep bugging you until you don't have any more money.
Hentai

56 lives for Hentai per month. Don't give them money.

These are the top people not to give money to:

  • Peta
  • ALF
  • RSPCA
  • WSPCA
  • Animal aid
  • Inland revenue and tax.
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