Henry Ford
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“Ford is the best in Texas.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Ford
“Don't find fault, find a remedy.”
~ Henry Ford on Jews
“You rascist bastard”
~ Achmed the Dead terrorist on Henry Ford
Henry Ford (born: Fighting for the Right to Keep Slaves Era - died: Yanks Have the Bomb and the Commies Don't Era) was the 29th president of the United Spades of Amerika, discoverer of the wheel, noted jewphile and became the second messiah after winning a duel against Jesus.
In 1754 Henry Ford started his perambulator company, General Motors Corporation which was later sold to Michael Moore; the man in two mirrors and it was not until 1973 that real competition came in the form of Japanese tractor corporation, Ferrarri who made perambulators affordable to the mass market. This sent GMC into meltdown over the next ten years, when Moore decided enough was enough, GMC was going to start using designs with only 50 year outdated technologies. It was too late, GMC would be taken over by a man known only as the Stig. Some say he was Henry Ford who had decided to take back his business GMC and that he made sure everyone knew that remote controls were part of a government conspiracy to make everyone dance like chickens at weekends, all we know is that hes called Du Stick in South Afrika.
Ford for a time was the youthful 'ward' of Thomas Edison, but would later in life claim his contraction of anal warts was from Zionist Chrysler back-seat.
Ford's musk glands produced natural new car smell, which was successfully synthesised in 1904. It is said that new car smell was based of the foot odor of Lindsay Lohan.
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[edit] Inventions of Henry Ford
Henry Ford was an accomplished inventor, as he invented the following things:
- General Motors Corporation
- Small Pebbles
- The Ford automobile
- The cotton gin
- The talking fish
- The Unibrow
- The Dearborn Independent
- Al Gorewtf? not al gore whoever put this there is dumb?
- The Internet
- Freddy Mercury
- The American Nazi Militia Foundation
- Antisemitism
He also invented the Ford Coil (betta known as the Tesla coil). That jerk Nikola Tesla stole it from him while he was asleep. Ford got his gun out but Tesla got away. If you ever see that SOB, kill him for Ford. He'll give you candy if you do. maybe.
[edit] Discoveries of Henry Ford
- The Wheel, in New Zealand
- Discovery Channel
[edit] Brave New World
With these great inventions, Ford created a brave new world that forever changed humanity. As a way of thanks, the human race asked hack writer Elvis Huxley to write a book detailing the greatness of Ford's society and how great and almighty Ford really is, which Huxley titled Brave New World. To this day, it is the number five best selling book (behind Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) but that is okay since Henry Ford declared that five was his favorite number.
[edit] Things named after Henry Ford
[edit] Aryanism
Henry Ford was a winner of an early Aryan race, and was crowned champion of the aryan racers. During a marathon, Henry discovered the Hebrews. Henry was intrigued by their culture and wrote a book about how great the jews were. He refused to give jews any jobs at his factories because he thought the jews so great that, they could make their own jobs and money. He even went so far as to praise "their control of international banking cartels". For his work on judaism, he was given the Hitler award, and Henry subsequently gave money to the founder fo the Hitler award; Billy Hitler.
[edit] Quotes by Henry Ford
- History is a bunk bed and I claim top bunk!-Ford
- My name is Henry Ford-Ford
- Get back to work! I'm not paying you to stand around!-Ford (motivating his workers)
- Any customer can have a car painted any color that he wants so long as it is white, because that is the color of our Aryan race-Ford
[edit] Death of Ford
Ford died in a duel against himself as he assumed the role as the third messiah.
