Henry Ford
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“Ford is the best in Texas.”
“Don't find fault, find a remedy.”
“You rascist bastard”
Henry Ford (born: Fighting for the Right to Keep Slaves Era - died: Yanks Have the Bomb and the Commies Don't Era) was the 29th president of the United Spades of Amerika, discoverer of the wheel.
In 1754 Henry Ford started his perambulator company, General Motors Corporation which was later sold to Michael Moore; the man in two mirrors and it was not until 1973 that real competition came in the form of Japanese tractor corporation, Ferrarri who made perambulators affordable to the mass market. This sent GMC into meltdown over the next ten years, when Moore decided enough was enough, GMC was going to start using designs with only 50 year outdated technologies. It was too late, GMC would be taken over by a man known only as the Stig. Some say he was Henry Ford who had decided to take back his business GMC and that he made sure everyone knew that remote controls were part of a government conspiracy to make everyone dance like chickens at weekends, all we know is that hes called Du Stick in South Afrika.
Ford for a time was the youthful 'ward' of Thomas Edison, but would later in life claim his contraction of anal warts was from Zionist Chrysler back-seat.
Ford's musk glands produced natural new car smell, which was successfully synthesised in 1904. It is said that new car smell was based of the foot odor of Lindsay Lohan.
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edit Inventions of Henry Ford
Henry Ford was an accomplished inventor, as he mass-produced the following things
- Parking lots
- The Ford automobile
- The cotton gin
- The talking fish
- The Unibrow
- The Dearborn Independent
- Internet Advertising
- Eurowhores
- Government Motors Corporation Opel
- The American Nazi Militia Foundation: Obama Mutant Ninja Turtles
- Antisemitism
He also invented the Ford Coil (betta known as the Tesla coil).
edit Discoveries of Henry Ford
edit Brave New World
With these great inventions, Ford created a brave new world that forever changed humanity. As a way of thanks, the human race asked hack writer Elvis Huxley to write a book detailing the greatness of Ford's society and how great and almighty Ford really is, which Huxley titled Brave New World. To this day, it is the number five best selling book (behind Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) but that is okay since Henry Ford declared that five was his favorite number.
edit Things named after Henry Ford
edit Aryanism
Henry Ford was a winner of an early Aryan race, and was crowned champion of the aryan racers. During a marathon, Henry discovered the Hebrews. Henry was intrigued by their culture and wrote a book about how great the jews were. He refused to give jews any jobs at his factories because he thought the jews so great that, they could make their own jobs and money. He even went so far as to praise "their control of international banking cartels". For his work on judaism, he was given the Hitler award, and Henry subsequently gave money to the founder fo the Hitler award; Billy Hitler.
edit Quotes by Henry Ford
- History is a bunk bed and I claim top bunk!-Ford
- My name is Henry Ford-Ford
- Nigga stole my Bike-Ford at age 12
- Get back to work! I'm not paying you to stand around!-Ford (motivating his workers)
- Any customer can have a car painted any color that he wants so long as it is white, because that is the color of our Aryan race-Ford
- This IS DETROIT!-Ford (Upon discovering one of his workers tribal magazines)
- "Met a girl / from Dearborn / early six o'clock one morn / a COLD FACT" - not actually by Ford but by Rod "Riguez" Serling.
edit Death of Ford
Ford died in a duel against himself as he assumed the role as the third messiah.
