Hell's Kitchen
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“No the fucking cucumbers go over fucking here, and you've fucking cut them wrong, you fucking twat”
~ Gordon Ramsay on Hell's Kitchen
“I am the best chef in the infinate universe! Better than Corey, Cristina, and even Chef Ramsay”
~ Jen (season 4) on Herself
“I'm the better than everybody in the world!!!”
~ Every person to get voted off this show oblivious to the fact that Chef Ramsay's asscrack hair has more cooking ability than they have in their whole body on themselves
Hell's Kitchen is without question the nicest section of New York City. It was founded in 42 AD and named by Satan, a former president of the United States, in a fit of nostalgia for his homeland. As the most exclusive neighborhood in town, it is entirely populated by white Scandinavians, who also moved there in a fit of nostalgia for their homeland, Scandinavia (which is also known as 'Hell's Bucket'). The white Scandinavians enjoy spitting on people living in the NYPD (Neighborhood of Young Poor Dominatrixes) and playing hopscotch with Satan, who they think is an excellent drinking buddy.
[edit] The Only Interesting Event in the History of Hell's Kitchen
In 1942, when Karl Rove was young and still had his hair, he tried to gain lodgings in Hell's Kitchen but was rejected on the grounds that he was "too fat and non-Scandinavian"--by his father, Satan, no less. In a fit of rage, Karl said these famous words:
We will fuck it. Do you hear me? We will fuck Hell's Kitchen. We will ruin it. Like no one has ever fucked it! --Karl Rove on Hell's Kitchen
Karl tried to carry out his threat that same day, and nearly burned Hell's Kitchen to the ground. However, the timely intervention of Pithy Saying Man saved the neighborhood. Pithy Saying Man was made the patron saint of Hell's Kitchen, and to this day its inhabitants remember him by reciting the pithy saying used to stop Karl Rove (a well-known Germanic aphorism):
Even a Germanic name cannot save you from being fucked and having your lunch money stolen.
Dante from Devil May Cry once raided hell's kitchen, and caused Gordon Ramsay to explode after an epic battle. However, Evil Never Dies.
