Heckler & Koch MP5

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The MP5 is a gun developed by a German company, Heckler loves Koch (Hehehe, the second part sounds like a silly word!) It fires bullets and is the most commonly featured weapon in movies with fat gay American guys in them.

  • Yeah, uhh, the clip holds 30 clippings. (dumbass) the MAGAZINE hold 30 ROUNDS. there is a diference between a clip and a mag. look it up elseware. NO, ON THE ACTUAL WIKIPEDIA YOU IMBECILE!
  • Um, if you put "SD" on the end, it gets a silence device.
  • Sometimes it gets a flashlight, and I guess it's called the MP5FT.
  • Yeah, it's a bullethose type gun, and it shoots at like 9 million fires per second. about 12 rounds per second actualy. (funny and not just stupid people)
  • SWAT guys like it because it PWNs and it's über. and a little outdated, grab a UMP
  • It can kill people to death, permanently, and sometimes forever. [although there is much debate on this, as death is not usually permanent]

edit History

The MP5 was invented by some Germans [notably Kaiser Wilhelm II] who wanted to make a porno featuring the Kaiser Chiefs, but not Kaiser Wilhelm I or II which made them angry so they invented the MP5 war gun. After experimenting with various designs, they invented a machine that would both remove the plastic from and slice those weird sausage things you see in the deli counter. After finding that this machine was not useful as a firearm, they developed the MP5, which is a ripoff of the G3 rifle (exempt from copywright laws because the same people made both). The weapon has been adopted as the standard submachinegun of Germany, Argentina, Iceland, and Serbia...actualy a shitload of pplaces still use it. See Muslims for unrelated information about Muslims [but why would you want to do that?].

edit Variants

The MP5 has approximately an infintillion variants, including the MP5SD (built in silencer and lower fire rate), the MP5K (kurtz, german for short) (shortened, no stock at first(later ones did have), front grip, increased fire rate), the MP5A2 (additional letter and number, full stock), the MP5A4SD2F7a2 (with a retractable solid stock, patented by Oscar Wilde), the MP5A2-GayWad (codename: FAG, or fat ass gun) for infiltration missions against the hordes of rainbow butterflies, and the MP5GUNTHER for use by people named Gunther. The MP5 is sometimes fitted with a 15-round magazine ("15 clippings") for use in the MP5K. This weapon, along with the 15-round magazine, can fit inside a specially designed briefcase, to provide inconspicuous firepower. Crazy old guys in suits often carry this, to defend themselves from Your Mom and terrorists.

edit Use in the 1957 Invasion of Italy

If such an invasion had occurred, it is highly likely that the invaders would have used MP5's, unless they were Soviets, in which case they would have used AK-47s. Otherwise, they probably would have had MP5's because everyone in the world uses them. However, Italy was not invaded in 1957, and so the MP5 was kept in storage in Swaziland. The guns were subsequently sent back to Germany, where they were sold as novelty paperweights in card stores up until the 60's.

edit See also

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