Heck
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| Motto: "Who want's a nice cup of warm milk?" | |||||
| Anthem: "Golly Almighty and Gee Willikers" | |||||
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| Capital | I Don't Give A | ||||
| Largest city | Back | ||||
| Official languages | N/A | ||||
| Government | Plutocracy | ||||
| King | Biff | ||||
| National Hero(es) | Sean Penn, Phil, Prince of Heck | ||||
| Declaration of Independence | N/A | ||||
| Currency | N/A | ||||
| Religion | Gosh | ||||
The basic overview of heck is that it is a less severe version of hell; instead of being tortureous, it is just mildly annoying. Heck is the place for people who don't believe in Gosh.
Heck is a place similar to Detroit, MI but with marginally worse public transportation. It is widely known for its roads that end at bars whose call time is at 1:00 AM. This is widely agreed to be "kind of a pain".
Heck is north of Hell, and nearly everyone who has visited agrees that it is worth the price of a trolley ticket to relocate. Those who have not been able to visit commissioned the great mathematician Sean Penn to prove this - the results speak for themselves.
Heffer Cow of blah went to Heck and came back because Heck was like hell, but less severe than the damned.
Heck's leader, Biff, has expressed an interest in improving the quality of life in his realm with events such as a weekly sock hop and town-wide lynchings. There is no national religion due to the influence from its southern neighbor - however groups like to meet on Saturday evenings to discuss their non-belief in Gosh and how it makes them feel.
Biff, of course, is not to be confused with Phil, Prince of Heck, who is a monarchistic rather than gubernatorial leader. It is he who sentences to a couple of minutes of darning for such minor sins as eating out-of-date food, or keeping too much change. He is thought to be the brother of the PHB, a mythical creature who it is best to ignore.
The capital of Heck, I Don't Give A, is well-known for its 1997 epidemic of smallpox, which was finally eradicated with a compulsory antibacterial bath for all citizens; many of whom still recount their ordeal with intensely nauseating detail. Situated at the confluence of the Euphraties and Tigris rivers the city enjoys magnificent views over the Valley of Kings where it is held in popular belief no Kings ever should go (they belong in Queens).
The second largest city and Industrial hub, Back, with a population of 80 is a lively, interesting place - according to Peter, the City's event organiser and municipal pool cleaner. It's main export are "I've been to Heck and Back and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt" T-Shirts.
