Head them off at the pass

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PirateShipSailing
The Canadian Navy, about to be cut off at the pass


“You Canadians are all the same, with your beady little eyes and flapping heads!”
~ Sheila Broflovski on Canadians
“Head them off at the pass!”
~ You on Keeping Canadians out of your living room
“Worst! Army! Ever!”
“I hate that cliche!”
~ Hedley LaMarr on Heading Them Off At The Pass

Widely thought of as the greatest military strategy in warfare, "Head them off at the pass" has been used throughout history as the downfall of the Candian military. It is doubtful that the origin of this phrase can be linked to a specific battle or military leader, but it's use to consistently defeat Canadian invasions is significant.

The 1492 Canadian Invasion of the Ocean Blue

About to be taken over by Canada, Columbus uttered those famous words "Head them off at the pass". In a stroke of genious, the Columbian Army was able to beat the Canadian Army to the pass, resulting in the immediate slaughter of millions of Canadian Soldiers.

The 1776 Canadian Invasion of Boston

Canadian invasion
Canadians would rule the USA if it wasn't for the manuver

About to be taken over by Canada, George Washington uttered those famous words "Head them off at the pass". In a stroke of genious, the Continental Army was able to beat the Canadian Army to the pass, resulting in the immediate slaughter of millions of Canadian Soldiers.

The 1812 Canadian Invasion of Easter Island

About to be taken over by Canada, Easter Island Statues uttered those famous words "Head them off at the pass". In a stroke of genious, the Easter Island Army was able to beat the Canadian Army to the pass, resulting in the immediate slaughter of millions of Canadian Soldiers.

The 1897 Canadian Invasion of Alaska

Klondike Routes Map
Multiple Canadian Invasions headed off at the pass by the Alaskan Army

About to be taken over by Canada, Alaskan Eskimos uttered those famous words "Head them off at the pass". In a stroke of genious, the Alaskan Army was able to beat the Canadian Army to the pass, resulting in the immediate slaughter of millions of Canadian Soldiers.

The 1920 Canadian Invasion of Germany

About to be taken over by Canada, Hitler uttered those famous words "Head them off at the pass". In a stroke of genious, the German Army was able to beat the Canadian Army to the pass, resulting in the immediate slaughter of millions of Canadian Soldiers.

War on Christmas

About to be taken over by Canada, Santa Claus uttered those famous words "Head them off at the pass". In a stroke of genious, the Claus Army was able to beat the Canadian Army to the pass, resulting in the immediate slaughter of millions of Canadian Soldiers.

The 3056 Canadian Invasion

About to be taken over by Canada, George W. Bush XXXIII uttered those famous words "Head them off at the pass". In a stroke of genious, the US Army was able to beat the Canadian Army to the pass, resulting in the immediate slaughter of billions of Canadian Soldiers.

The Candian Canadian Invasion

About to be taken over by Canada, ironically drunk Canada uttered those famous words "Head them off at the pass". In a stroke of genious, the Canadian Army was able to beat the Canadian Army to the pass, resulting in the immediate Hockey Game of millions of Canadian Soldiers, with beer eh.

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