Harvard Miles Stimpleton

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

“Who the Fuck.....?”

~ Random man on Harvard Miles Stimpleton

Harvard Miles Stimpleton during his mid twenties

Harvard Miles Stimpleton is one of the most renowned conspiracy theorists known to donkey (and perhaps man), he was formerly a member of A.R.E.D.(the association of random emo donkeys)but now currently is the leader of A.R.E.M.D.(the association of random existentialst mega donkeys). He is most lauded for his specualtion of the Mega Conspiracy, invloving a massive underground society of cloned Bill Clintons, free thinking leprechauns, castrated Vampires, and various unknown german toy production companies all descendent from The Most Idiotic Being in The Universe(theorized by Harvard Miles Stimpleton). Aside from this theory (that is slowly losing popularity) Harvard Miles Stimpleton is famous in many other fields of achievement (but apparently Nobody Cares).

[edit] Birth

Harvard Miles Stimpleton at a young age with his mother: Martha Stimpleton

Alledgedly Harvard Miles Stimpleton was born on August 5, 1973, in Smackbottom, Yorkshire. As a child he enjoyed golf, watching Winnie the Pooh, listening to Simon and Garfunkel records, and theorizing about massive creationist conspiracies. His sister was unfortunately sold to a band of donkey pimps when he was thirteen, maybe she shouldn't of been such a whore. Harvard Miles Stimpleton's parents where Ed Stimpleton and Martha Stimpleton, they both were meth addicted asses related distantly to Eeyore. After a series of mental breakdowns, suicidal attempts, and a short period of being the bassist in the hardcore punk band Mega Donkey Threat Harvard Miles Stimpleton decided to become a Conspiracy Theorist because it had a cool name and sounded like it paid well.

[edit] Theory

Who could TMIBITU be? a being from another world? a god? a conviently placed thumbnail of a silhouette on a Uncyclopedia page?

The Mega Conspiracy theory, (Theorized by Harvard Miles Stimpleton) believes that the massive underground soceity descendent from The Most Idiotic Being in The Universe is said to have been operating since three(and a half) A.D., and plans on returning The Most Idiotic Being in The Universe to our Universe from the void which he was locked into by masterful manipulator Michael J. Foxx (not to be confused with Michael J. Fox) on Febuary 25th, 1972 (coincedently the same day the first pilot episode for Happy Days aired). It is believed by Harvard Miles Stimpleton that after The Most Idiotic Being in The Universe was locked in the void at the end of a hardcore pinball challenge between TMIBITU(yes now im going to use the acronym so deal with it!) and Michael J. Foxx all the incredibly stupid things in the universe were no longer moderated by TMIBITU's idiotic (yet controlled) moderation and thus grew ever more stupid at an alarming out of control rate.

[edit] A thing we can thank the TMIBITU for

The satan worshiping pop group: The Jonas Brothers

the number three is an odd number, THE WORK OF THE DEVIL I TELL YOU@!!

................................................

[edit] Another thing we can thank the TMIBITU for

Michael Savage

They smile, they all smile, the SMILES ARE LIES!!!

[edit] Something intelligent that survived after TMIBITU's exile

Cookie Monster

A genius who is often under appreciated, without him there would be no hope for our world

[edit] Something we cannot thank TMIBITU for

Jack gerbils.

Formerly thought to be a photo of the notorius fantasy animal the Jack-Gerbil, this is simply a gerbil named Jack

[edit] Rejection of Mega Conspiracy

In recent years many have rejected Harvard Miles Stimpleton's Mega Conspiracy theory (excluding emo donkeys) because reports have been spread that Harvard Miles Stimpleton is in fact an insane school janitor from the planet Blutargusajus 5.