Harmonica

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Deadly.

The Harmonica, or as scientists call it, Genus Epicus, was first created in the Dark forest of the Negative Dimension. It never saw the light of mankind until the 1800's, when Thor dropped his own on the battle of Bunker Hill.

When asked about this accident, Thor replied "Mutha Fuckas don't know shit 'bout my chromatic"

The instrument was quickly recreated and harvested as an airborne strike weapon during the battle for Middle Earth. after it's blazing success, the harmonica became cataloged as a WMD.


Contents

[edit] First Uses of the Harmonica

When I composed 'Symphony for the Devil', I didn't expect it to be performed on the Harmonica...

~ Oscar Wilde on Music

Developed by Ringo Starr, in a small village in Germany, whilst he was on an new diet comprising entirely of Sausages and Crack Cocaine. When originally tested as a missile based weapon, it was noticed that only terrifyingly epic sounds of badassery sounds could be produced, so they were quickly placed in the hands of vulnerable children. Ringo later decided that this instrument was vastly more successful when dropped from a bomber.

[edit] The Many Songs of the WMD

The major skill required in producing pleasing tones from the WMD is that the pilot must maintain a specific altitude and speed when the harmonica is dropped, otherwise the doomed individuals bellow will be subject to the wailings of a pretentious irish man. (For instance, the background noise of famed band U2).

For example:

4 Knots/ 25,000 ft- Bon Jovi 'Living on a Prayer'

2.5 knots/ 30,000ft- Beethoven ' Für Elise'

8.9929192291949395 Knots/ 12768.667 ft-Britney Spears 'Hit Me Baby One More Time'

[edit] The Harmonica today

Since it's time in use in battle, it has acquired a growing fan base, formed mainly of depressive warlords and Bob Dylan. The harmonica was later thrown back to Asgard when Hans Christian Anderson realized it would bring about the coming of apocalypse if left in the hands of man kind.

As a side note, he's still working on the 2012 scare.

[edit] The Harmonica tomorrow

Hans failed to remove every Harmonica, however, and some still remain in the hands of the mightiest warriors and musicians the world has to offer. It is expected that a battle between those owning the sought after relic, and the ignorant pig dogs who play the blasphemous guitar will soon begin their renewed battle over capture of the fields of eternity. I think we know who will win.

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