Half-hedgehoglessness

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 00:57, December 25, 2008 by Æschere (talk | contribs)

Jump to: navigation, search

This is the Zodiac speaking. Do you think you cowards can run from me? No you cannot, for I am above mortal things.

ЕНКЁШКААНЛЁПЕЦЦААЭАН

ДАЛЫЧЫНВКЁШКАШЕАНЦА

АМЫНЮЛЛЕЯЬЦЦЫМЬЫНЕ

НКЫЫЪЕХЦЫЬЕНДЁЪПХЫ

НЦЕХЁККААМПЫАКЮЫНКЁ

ЛМЕЦЮХАЦЦАЁЪВАШМЕЯ

АШЕЁННЫЫНХАЮШКААШ

ЫНЮНПЫЦЬЫШЫЙЪЫЦЦ

ЬЬЦЕХДЬШЕНПЙШЬККЫЁ

НЦЙПЕЪЫЬШЫКЁЯА!

Extension:DynamicPageList (DPL), version 2.02 : Warning: Unknown parameter '<DynamicPageList> [missing '=']' is ignored. Help: available parameters: addfirstcategorydate category count hiddencategories mode namespace notcategory order ordermethod qualitypages redirects showcurid shownamespace stablepages suppresserrors allowcachedresults execandexit columns debug distinct escapelinks format inlinetext listseparators notnamespace offset oneresultfooter oneresultheader ordercollation noresultsfooter noresultsheader randomcount randomseed replaceintitle resultsfooter resultsheader rowcolformat rows rowsize scroll title title< title> titlemaxlength userdateformat addauthor addcategories addcontribution addeditdate addexternallink addlasteditor addpagecounter addpagesize addpagetoucheddate adduser categoriesminmax createdby dominantsection dplcache dplcacheperiod eliminate fixcategory headingcount headingmode hitemattr hlistattr ignorecase imagecontainer imageused include includematch includematchparsed includemaxlength includenotmatch includenotmatchparsed includepage includesubpages includetrim itemattr lastmodifiedby linksfrom linksto linkstoexternal listattr minoredits modifiedby multisecseparators notcreatedby notlastmodifiedby notlinksfrom notlinksto notmodifiedby notuses reset secseparators skipthispage table tablerow tablesortcol titlematch usedby uses allrevisionsbefore allrevisionssince articlecategory categorymatch categoryregexp firstrevisionsince lastrevisionbefore maxrevisions minrevisions notcategorymatch notcategoryregexp nottitlematch nottitleregexp openreferences titleregexp .

Extension:DynamicPageList (DPL), version 2.02 : Warning: Unknown parameter 'Line 29: Line 7: [missing '=']' is ignored. Help: available parameters:

addfirstcategorydate category count hiddencategories mode namespace notcategory order ordermethod qualitypages redirects showcurid shownamespace stablepages suppresserrors

allowcachedresults execandexit columns debug distinct escapelinks format inlinetext listseparators notnamespace offset oneresultfooter oneresultheader ordercollation noresultsfooter noresultsheader randomcount randomseed replaceintitle resultsfooter resultsheader rowcolformat rows rowsize scroll title title< title> titlemaxlength userdateformat

addauthor addcategories addcontribution addeditdate addexternallink addlasteditor addpagecounter addpagesize addpagetoucheddate adduser categoriesminmax createdby dominantsection dplcache dplcacheperiod eliminate fixcategory headingcount headingmode hitemattr hlistattr ignorecase imagecontainer imageused include includematch includematchparsed includemaxlength includenotmatch includenotmatchparsed includepage includesubpages includetrim itemattr lastmodifiedby linksfrom linksto linkstoexternal listattr minoredits modifiedby multisecseparators notcreatedby notlastmodifiedby notlinksfrom notlinksto notmodifiedby notuses reset secseparators skipthispage table tablerow tablesortcol titlematch usedby uses

allrevisionsbefore allrevisionssince articlecategory categorymatch categoryregexp firstrevisionsince lastrevisionbefore maxrevisions minrevisions notcategorymatch notcategoryregexp nottitlematch nottitleregexp openreferences titleregexp

.

Extension:DynamicPageList (DPL), version 2.02 : Error: No results!

</DynamicPageList>

Tommorow I will being my reign on the following wikis:

  • Fan History Wiki
  • Encyclopedia Dramatica
  • Uncyclopedia
  • Memory Alpha
  • Homestar Runner Wiki
  • The TV IV
  • Rational Wiki

"That which cannot be held cannot be real; that which cannot be a half-hedgehog cannot be held."

~ Confucius on half-hedgehoglessness

Half-hedgehoglessness is a state of an entity not possessing of another entity that is a half of a hedgehog. This state is omniapplicable. Here is the proof, in four basic cases as defined in the Half-hedgehoglessness Conjecture in Paracelsus' famous work Algebra Mammalia, which dealt solely with the mathematics of rodents and other small mammals.

Case 1: Total Half-hedgehoglessness

The entity possesses no entity which is part or whole of a hedgehog. In this case, half-hedgehoglessness is achieved by virtue of hedgehoglessness, though the two states are not self-proving. This is commonly referred to as total half-hedgehoglessness and is identical in execution to the lessness of any mammal.

hog(0)::NOT(hog(0.5))

Case 2: Whole Hog Half-hedgehoglessness

The entity possesses an entity which is commonly accepted as a whole hedgehog. In this case, half-hedgehoglessness is achieved because the hedgehog itself is virtually indivisible: any division of the hedgehog prevents the possibility of creating a perfect half-hedgehog; thus, though a whole hedgehog is in its most basic sense composed of two half-hedgehogs, these halfhogs cannot be separated and therefore cannot be identified as individual entities. This is commonly referred to as whole hog half-hedgehoglessness and is identical in execution to hedgehogfulness.

hog(1)::NOT(hog(0.5)+hog(0.5))::NOT(hog(0.5))

Case 3: Half-Hog Half-hedgehoglessness

The entity possesses a single entity which is commonly accepted as a half-hedgehog. The concept that a half-hedgehog exists constitutes the proof that it has another half-hedgehog counterpart; that is, a single half-hedgehog cannot exist unless another does. In this case, the half-hedgehog that the entity is without is the half-hedgehog which corresponds to the other half-hog in its possession. This is commonly referred to as half-hog half-hedgehoglessness and is unique.

hog(0.5)::hog(1)-hog(0.5)::NOT(hog(0.5))

Case 4: Dual Half-Hog Half-hedgehoglessness

The entity possesses two entities which are commonly accepted as half-hedgehogs. The case would seem to be self-denying: half-hedgehogfulness cannot prove half-hedgehoglessness. However, the proof has been defined since the 300s BC: First, any division of a whole hedgehog prevents the possibility of creating a perfect half-hedgehog; thus, though a whole hedgehog is in its most basic sense composed of two half-hedgehogs, these halfhogs cannot be separated and therefore cannot be identified as individual entities. Therefore, though the half-hogs in possession must exist, they cannot have been extracted from the whole hog by any normal physical means and therefore cannot be recombined to form a single whole hog. Because a half-hedgehog is defined as that which constitutes or may constitute one half of the physical form of a half-hedgehog, the two half-hogs in possession do not exist in a mathematical sense. This is commonly referred to as dual half-hog half-hedgehoglessness and is half-hog half-hedgehoglessness added to itself once. This is not a case of sumative half-hedgehogidity.

hog(0.5)+hog(0.5):: NOT(hog(1)):: NOT(hog(0.5))

Related Theories

Paracelsus' Original Lessness Theories:

1. If an entity is in possession of no entity or part of an entity, that entity cannot possess a hedgehog, badger, rabbit, weasel, ferret, skunk, field mouse, porcupine, or half of any of these mammals.

2. If an entity possesses part of an entity but not a whole entity, that entity cannot possess a hedgehog, badger, rabbit, weasel, ferret, skunk, field mouse, or porcupine.

3. If an entity possesses two whole entities, they can be any combination of two of the following: hedgehog, badger, rabbit, weasel, ferret, skunk, field mouse, or porcupine, but not two porcupines.

4. If an entity possesses nonexistance, it can be determined to not be an entity, kind of like Tobago.
Personal tools
projects