Hades

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[edit] Tradition

For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Hades.

Followers of Hades (namely Gypsies, Scholars, the insane,gay, David Hasselhoff, Short people, Pacifists, Keanu Reeves, Gypsies, George Lucas, The Retarded and Gypsies) have a strict religious regieme every morning which they believe they must follow to the letter unless they are forced to become Transvestites, She-Males', Male-Shes', Goats, Rocks or Lumps of Fat.

The daily religious routine is often too difficult for many as the incessant two-hour starjumps at 3am, the 'eat a whole turkey raw' feast every evening at 10pm and the 'balance entire body on one finger to gain Hades's blessing' leave many collapsed on floors and sofa's, unable to breathe, struggling to breath or simply dead.

The main tradition that most followers of Hades participate in, is the weekly 'Gypsie Day' event. The event is based on Hades's legendary battle with the Gypsie Lord who almost succeeded in his nefarious plans to cover the world in horses, carts, Gypsieitis and unwashed socks.

The event simply honours Hades by all followers of Hades grabbing any weaponry available and going Gypsie hunting. Often, the event draws to a close merely 10 minutes after it starts as Gypsies who follow Hades are forced to kill each other and finally themselves, believing they will gain access to the Underworld where they can 'smell' in peace without ever having to wash themselves...ever.. which is really disgusting and it sucks, and people who dont really stink and are stupid, just like these ppl...really, ever... For Gypsies, this is the ultimate goal in life as their status is determined by the level of their smell. Gypsie leaders often carry in their filth-ridden brown coats a number of dead animals as well as soaking themselves in milk. Gypsie county ministers often stuff unwashed socks in their pockets as a status of their level.

[edit] Underworld

Despite its bright and cheerful name, the Underworld is believed and presumed by many to be a single 5 by 5 metre room somewhere in infinity. This creates a dilema at times, when scholars argue that with all that space, there will never be enough people to fit within it. Many think it is because the Underworld is assumed to have pink wallpaper as well as a pink fluffy pillow somewhere within the cavernous space of the Underworld.

The Underworld itself is believed to have only one entry, a tiny glass window which the deceased must squeeze through to gain access to the Underworld, only after being chased by and escaping Hades's pet and Underworld guardian - Fluffy. Despite previous assumptions about 'Cerberus', a three headed dog, religious believers were shocked by the 23rd Edition of the Holy book - 'Me, Myself and Hades' which contained knowledge about a much fiercer and powerful guardian - Hades's Pygmy Goat Fluffy.

The Underworld Guardian. Its innocent look has already spelt Doom for countless people...

Despite its weak and cute appearance, which is its deceiving ability, Fluffy is able to do +5 attacks a turn with a +20 strength bonus for a -2 mana loss. Fluffy is level 255 and the n00bz get pwnzered with his instant "ub3r pwnt" attack (666 damage per second). Faced with these odds around 90% of people never make it to the Underworld and are forced to camp outside the entrance using nothing but their clothes and human hair.

The Underworld is ruled by Hades' proxy, EMPEROR OF ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING Richard Plantagenet (Richard III).

[edit] Hades, Illinois

Hades is also city located in St. Clair County, Illinois, USA, directly across the Mississippi River from St. Louis, Missouri. As of the 2000 census, the city had a total population of 31,542. One of the highlights of the city's waterfront is the Gateway Geyser, the world's tallest fountain, which spews water to a height of 600 feet and is designed to mirror the Gateway Arch across the river in St. Louis.

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