HD-DVD
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HD-DVD is one of the biggest and most anticipated failures of all time. Created by Toshiba, It had to compete with Sony's Blu-ray. The reason for it's creation is that Toshiba were sick and tired of "losing every fucking time to those sony shitheads with their PS2, Bravia, Handycam, Vaio and digital condoms. They've had their fucking monopoly too good and too long" as quoted by the Toshiba board of directors while singing Karaoke over a plate of sushi with extra wasabe. The only response to these comments from SONY were "Harigato! we never thought about digital condoms! thanks for the idea!" Shortly afterwards, The head of SONY was spotted on a rocket bound for an enormous floating ball of metal in earth orbit called "Death Sushi" repeatedly chanting "Muahahaha! A new monopoly!" He has not been spotted since.
[edit] Origin
The creation of HD-DVD was an unanticipated side effect of HDTV and the porno industry. With everything going Full HD (sports, cartoons, news broadcasts, parlimentary meetings, etc) someone felt that the porn on DVD would never do since "everyone owns a 900 inch Home cinema or will in a couple of months" (This is the same guy who said cable TV will never catch on). Meanwhile, Toshiba execs, who were sick of always losing to Sony overheard him via hidden microphones in the guy's Regza TV and quick as lightning (or the bullet train, take your pick) rushed to the patent office and applied for one for "something to record porn on". Lacking a name, they thought of Hos and were watching a DVD boxset of Pokemon and thought HO-DVD. But the name was taken so they chose HD-DVD and the name struck.
[edit] Development
What the Toshiba Execs had no clue about was that Sony had once again beaten them to it. Their format was already long in development, aka the Blu-ray. The Toshiba Execs, realizing this, hired James Bond to infiltrate Sony Headquarters. Unfortunately, he was laying the Queen of England at the time, and you must always entertain royalty. So sadly, they had to settle for Black James Bond, aka Double-O-n00b, and it was also his first day on the job, so you can guess the resulting mess.
Once the Execs finally learned to understand a very thick Jamaican accent, and find find the 20,000 gallons of Rum to pay him with, 00-n00b finally set off to Sony Headquarters. On the way, he humped as many young japanese schoolgirls in their sailor outfits as he could, finding a shemale or two. At the Sony headquarters, Black James Bond saw the front door was open and ungaurded. Consulting his "Spying For Dummies" book, which said a spy never enters through the front door, he decided to climb through the ventilation shaft with his "magna-gloves", swim through a pool of sharks, rape the secretary and finally enter the computer room by guessing the password (which was "playstation") to deactivate the electrified floor leading to the computer room. He got to the computer and accessed all files on the Blu-ray project, Market analysis by sony, the Playstation 4, terabytes of hentai movies and sushi recepies. After placing a bomb in the vault which will detonate after 15 minutes, out of no-where a huge swivel chair appeared with it's back turned to him. The chair turned around to reveal Dr. Evil! Both stared at each other surprised until Dr. Evil said "Oh, Sorry. I thought you Austin. Get out of here, your breath smells of catfish." Black James Bond calmly strode out of the building, passing the gaurdhouse just when the bomb exploded, destroying the facillity.
He returned to Toshiba Headquarters (right across the street) and delivered the information, save the hentai, which has yet to be found. After careful examination and reverse engineering by Toshiba's top scientists, they thought "just reduce the disc's capacity a little, call it HD-DVD and the DVD Forum will support it, after a few thousand Yen under the table, that is."
