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Davey Jones has inspired us to sink and pillage 31,509 ships since we set sail in January 2005.

Before running out your guns, please read the ships charter and the pirates code or you'll be Walking the Plank.
If you scurvy dogs still are still a bit confused then speak to polly(sqwark, Pieces of Eight, Pieces of Eight)

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Today's Featured Article - Trump Tower

Trump Tower 3

The Trump Tower is the Manhattan headquarters of the Trump Organization and home of U.S. President-elect Donald Trump, who lives with wife Melanoma in the penthouse bachelor pad. Though only the 64th tallest building in New York City, it is far better than all the others, so much better, you're going to see just how much better. It essentially is taller than all the rest. (more...)

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What were we getting up too in past years, Arghhhh!

January 17: International Punch Danny Baker In The Crotch Day

DannyBaker

Comrade Danny upon being crotch punched.

  • 1993 - Danny Baker punched in the crotch
  • 1994 - Danny Baker punched repeatedly in the crotch
  • 1995 - Many people punch Danny Baker in the crotch
  • 1996 - In the crotch, Danny Baker is punched
  • 1997 - Danny Baker's crotch punched repeatedly
  • 1998 - In Soviet Russia, Danny Baker's crotch punches YOU!!
  • 1999 - Danny Baker retires with crotch-strain
  • 2003 - Unnamed burglar breaks into Danny Baker's retirement home to punch him in the crotch
  • 2005 - Danny Baker kicked in the crotch by Big Bird
  • 2007 - Danny Baker gets his balls punched off by Nathan Thompson.
  • 2008 - Various minor celebrities wait in line for four hours to punch Danny Baker in the crotch
  • 2009 - Danny Baker's son declares his intent to continue his father's legacy of being punched in the crotch on his death, then affirms this by punching Danny Baker in the crotch
  • 2009 - Danny Baker's son dies of broken crotch
  • 2010 - Danny Baker digs up his son, punches him in the crotch and buries himself
  • 2012 - The end of days comes and Danny Baker gets his revenge on the world by punching everybody in the crotch.

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Pirate Times


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Pirate of the Month and Swabbie of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



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