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Stop hand This article is absolute bullcrap Absolute Truth.
Anyone who disagrees is a rational thinker pervert will have to be healed in a mental institution.

Note: For those among you who do not understand satire, this article is being sarcastic.

Conservapedia is a radical, hateful, despicable "encyclopedia" designed for intolerant bigots who want to rattle off hate speech at our good, benevolent liberals who only want what's worst best for our country. Basically, they are evil fascists who want to subjugate the human race and run a communist society. The head of this project is none other than Hitler himself, who wishes to take over the country and soon the world with this dangerous material!

Conservapedia users wish to keep guns for self defense to blow their neighbor's heads off for no reason. They are dangerous lunatics! You can see it by just following the news. George W. Bush, an infamous psychopath who for some good odd reason got to be our president, replacing our great nutcake Bill Clinton! Bush wants to bomb poor Iraq off the face of the earth and save the innocent civilians butcher all who live there! All the poor, innocent Muslims and terrorists who are a threat to society poor people who can't find work and thieves and criminals and psychopaths!!! He's a monster!

Trust us the village idiots you don't want to be associated with these dangerous lunatics. They are a threat to society and the rest of the world!

edit Origins

Conservapedia was started by the late Darth Hitler, who wanted to retake Germany and all of the US for his own vile purposes. However, he was foiled by Jimmy Wales, who wrote the terrible lies truth about him on the great, true Wikipedia. In a rage, Hitler threw himself down the reactor shaft of the LiberaStar and was never seen again. However, he was replaced by his apprentice, Darth Aschlafly, who resumed his former master's evil deeds and began to take over western society. Soon, all of the US and Canada fell to his iron grip, and now he seeks to blow up Eastern Society.

Several things stand in his way, however. First off, Wikipedia! Wikipedia is getting stronger everyday, and will continue to stand against Darth Aschlafly and his evil deeds. It will prevent homosexuality, perversion, crime, and murders all the good morals of our country from being utterly devestated, and will save the Middle East from nuclear war! Another is this uncyclopedia! We here at Uncyclopedia will do all we can to stop the evil Conservative threat from taking over the world by ruthlessly vandalizing Conservapedia's articles. But you must help. Just call 666 to find out how.

edit Beliefs

Conservatives are complete buffoons, as well as being the most hated and vile beings in the whole universe. Their beliefs are simple: mob rule! Whatever they want pretty much goes! Here's a brief list of what exactly they want:

  • 1. They want to keep guns concealed so that they can blow off their poor liberal neighbors' heads.
  • 2. They want the military to invade on everyone's personal space and look at everything they're doing (see Big Brother).
  • 3. They want to give Christian schoolchildren the right to pray to God. Just how hateful is that!!!
  • 4. They want communism, which means equal funds for everyone (mainly so they can take money off of the Wikimania foundation)
  • 5. They want the police to ruthlessly butcher everyone who is suspected of saying something against Emperor Bush. (see thought police)
  • 6. They want to keep sex where it belongs, between husband and wife totally outlaw sex, and thus run down the population!
  • 7. They want the controversy to be taught Big Brother to control the education system, which would mean the vile cremationism to be taught.
  • 8. They want to take business away from money-obsessed psychopaths doctors, and remove all body-destroying drugs life-saving medicines removed from the common person's grasp.
  • 9. The destruction of society via forcing lazy bastards to get off their asses and work to make money instead of having the IRS steal it from those who are actually worth something destroying social support.
  • 10. They want the Supreme Court to give innocent, helpless babies a chance to live control their bodies.
  • 11. To take away the freedom of homosexuality which causes AIDS, intestinal parasites and lower lifespan
  • 12. Take away the freedom to enslave oneself to pictures of nude women.

In addition to this, they believe in a God and refuse to believe in Natural Selection, which is the Truth! They also viciously hate Muslims, who are only trying to kill as many people as it takes for them to rule the world help make the world a better place. They're monsters! They believe in Cremationism rather than Evilution, which is totally stupid! They burn everyone who refuses to believe in their true false God! As you can see, they are more or less a threat to modern society and will destroy the world if left to continue their vile work!

edit See also

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