Gunpowder

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Gunpowder is an extremely powerful aphrodisiac which is a uniform mixture of 25% sulfur, 25% graphite, 25% saltpeter, 25% pepperpeter, 25% oreganopeter, and a trace amount of monosodium glutamate. Oh, and it is occasionally used to blow stuff up real good.

[edit] The long and sordid history of gunpowder

Gunpowder may have been invented in 4 BCE somewhere in ancient China, but there is much uncertainty about this because all Uncyclopedia articles from this nebulous era were irretrievably lost in a horrific asplosion.

In 1066, the Chinese emperor Ming Kong, who discovered gunpowder's uncanny ability to enhance sexual pleasure (don't ask how), ordered it to be added to all Chinese breakfast cereals (of which the only available brand at the time was Rice Krispies™ (now also available at Wal-Mart)) in a desperate attempt to boost China's abysmally low population. It apparently worked: now look how many China-folk there are.

Many centuries later, British intelligence agent Marco Polo (00VII) was sent to China on a mission to observe China's top secret spaghetti and paper dragon production factory; but instead mistakenly came back with the plans for gunpowder stashed in his briefcase. The forbidden knowledge of gunpowder soon spread like wildfire all over Europe and France; the history of love and war has never been the same since. Whoever made this article was either high or on drugs. :) OR BOTH (most likely both)

[edit] Gunpowder today

Today, gunpowder is used in all sorts of popular commercial products such as hand grenades, denture cream, baby formulae, Viagra™, artificial cheez, erotic cakes, and weapons of mass destruction. It also works great as a campfire starter (almost as effective as enriched uranium), and a masturbatory aid (almost as effective as baking soda (though this can sometimes result in very unfortunate - and painful - accidents)). Gunpowder is becoming increasingly expensive these days however, since powdering guns to prepare it is very time consuming.

It is predicted that soon gunpowder will be obselete as making stuff go boom is so 19th century, the weapons of the future being biological warefare, rickrolling and LHCs. Your mom is so 19th century Bitch. Plus your a dumb shit.