Guild Wars
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“I enjoy playing the Lumberjack because it allows me to wield nunchucks.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Lumberjacks in Guild Wars
“As long as I control this OBELISK, it will strike any foe who venture near.”
~ Mage on Why OBELISKs are Crucial to Survival.
Guild Wars (2005-2007), often known simply as Build Wars, is a computer graphic video game adventure disk available in very tightly packed and even more tightly packed versions. Guild Wars was a massive hit, especially among the elderly, the pregnant, and those who may become pregnant, and went on to sell millions of copies, due to the lack of any Monthly Costs.
Guild Wars added many new features never before seen in a computer game, including: weapons, swords, fighting, and Scantily-Clad Females.
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[edit] Gameplay
Guild War's gameplay revolves around the player's natural instict to reach level 20 and thus, become King of the Universe. Players use a variety of weapons, skills, and sexual innuendos to gain experience points to reach the magic number. Quests, another form of the experience-point delivery system, commonly involve killing a number of creatures, gathering a certain number of resources, finding a difficult to locate object, or delivering an item from one place to another. During this process, a character may get attacked and killed by a creature, causing a loss in valuable experience points (unlike in other games). Guild Wars gravitational field is lower than Earths so it is theoritically possible to fly there and to walk on water like Jesus.
When creating a character in Guild Wars, a player had many profesions at their disposal.
[edit] Ranger
The Ranger uses ranged weapons, resulting in a far greater range than any a enemy could muster. Rangers use their large range to out maneuver their enemies and uses their ranged weapons on them as often as possible. This is also the only class that requires you to be gay.
[edit] Monk
Monks are the barbers of the Guild Wars universe, as is evident based on their (lack of) hairstyle. Skilled masters of the razor-blade, these mightly warrior are feared throughout the land.
[edit] Assassin
Assassins are a odd group in Guild Wars, and are generally shunned by the player base due their lack of damage-dealing skills. Players who choose the Assassin must resort to uttering unkind things and thinking nasty thoughts. when you see an assassin running at you to damage you, it should remind you of the annoying kid at school (you know, the squirrely guy) and you just want him to go away even though its not a big deal, resembling that all assassins are are a minor inconvienience that you can dispose of quickly.
[edit] Lumberjack
By far the most favored character option, the lumberjack deals massive damage in battle, and is the only profession that can wield nunchucks. Lumberjacks, due do their unbalanced nature, are the only profession still allowed in PvE (player vs. Environment).
[edit] Elementalist
Elementalists are the close-combat specialists in Guild Wars. While Lumberjacks use their extendo-arms to reach their enemies, elementalists charge into battle, often wearing heavy armor and unnecessarily large helmets. Elementalists are also healers in Guild Wars, due to either robustness and high amounts of adrenaline.
[edit] the Ronald Mcdonald
this class in unique in guild wars considering every skill you use is an attempt to cause interruptions in connection framerate issues. the skills are seperated into three categories as usual. the Virals, Popups, and minimizers. a good strategy is to use them all at once, send them an in game popup of a face callign them names to distact them, then minimize there game, once the enemy is paralyzed, send a virus to attack his IP address, the elite skill for this actually suspends there account they got this idea from me annoying players.
[edit] Jesus
You can play Jesus and Dark Jesus in the game and try to build a house made of flowers in Soivet Russia. In Soviet Russia, the house builds YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
[edit] THE CHUCK NORRIS
removed secons before release for fear of the entire world exploding from over exposure to pure, unadultareted awesomeness. Only one copy was ever sold that could accomodate the awesomeness. The owner was never seen again, although his kitten was found un-huffed by his Landlord and a strange oozing mass was seen fleeing the room & getting on a plane to Soviet Russia.
[edit] Development
Guild Wars was developed by A PC Game Developer and was completed in 2005. Development took under 3 centuries, a remarkable time-frame which allowed A PC Game Developer to create Hype with greater ease. 14 State-of-the-Art Machines were used in the development process. It is rumor that A PC Game Developer actually paid programmers to do its bidding, but that rumor is unfounded. Guild Wars was likely developed the more-common voodoo and ninjas method of production, which is mostly random and yields varying results. Needless to say, the method must have worked, because Guild Wars was one of the most popular Internet-Enabled Playing Role PC Computer Game System Disks ever to be produced by A PC Game Company. A PC Game Developer also continues to develop in-game events that generally coincide with real events such as Christmas, Halloween, and the Apocalypse. These events feature mini-games, quests, and even free money. Guild wars support team is a bunch of emotionally deprived anti socials that like to behave like politics and ban people, for fun, it gives them a rush, it gives them a rush because they never got enough attention, good or bad, throughout there life, they never had control of anything, and finally this gives them someones fate to control. its a sad world.
[edit] Reception
As noted before, Guild Wars was one of the most highly-regarded Internet-Enabled Avatar-Based Role-Playing Personal Calculations Machine Entertainment System Compilation Disks That Sucks Balls of all time.
