Grunge

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left to right; bassist ,guitarist ,drummer. typical grunge band. Note that the bassist's guitar is larger.

"Grunge? I had that once... made taking a slash a nightmare."

~ Oscar Wilde

“I can't move!”

~ Alice on being in chains

“Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello!”

~ Kurt Cobain on greetings


Contents

[edit] Origins

In 1887 Black Sabbath invented the grunge sound when guitarist Tony Onlylonely noticed the strings of his lute were causing too much tension on it's neck so he loosened them with no rhyme or reason. Since the rest of his band wasn't in tune either no one noticed.

Grunge is psuedo-crappy music made by people affected by adverse weather. While most people have cleaned dirty seats since their invention, some students decided to let the grunge grow for over two decades, eventually resulting in the creation of several human sized beasts in the early 1990's that were able to make marketable music, most of which was sold to audily impaired teenagers.

Way to rip off Trey Parker's comments from Vh1's I Love The 90's. ^ Dickhole.

[edit] Seat, le Sound

The sound that is made by these bacterial beast is sometimes referred to as the Seat, le Sound. This name given by teenagers, was a result of their failing french grades and combining Seat sound with le.

[edit] The Grunge Sound

A Dirty Guitar

Combining the sound made by the bacterial beast with instruments, will make this "marketable music". Most grunge bands like Kurt Cobain and the Nirvana Brothers use a dirty guitar, probably found at the local Second Hand Shop. The use of second hand instruments and Strong Riffs could easily fend off local chavs.

Things you can do with the Grunge Sound:

  • Listen to it
  • Make a pie with it.
  • Not have a bath whilst listening.
  • Sing along while dealing with constipation.
  • Shoot up while listening
  • Travel to Seattle
  • Be angry

How you can get rid of Emo:

  • 1. Play them decent music.
  • 2. Get a true grunger to laugh at their shit hair.
  • 3. Hand out Razors and large amounts of prescription drugs and let them do it themselves

[edit] How to become a grunger

To be a stereotypical Grunger, one must grow the hair. Try and grow the bangs and back and sides to an equal length. Then, don't wash it. Ever. Clothes to be worn include ragged jeans and flannel shirts. Make sure you never have anything to do. Be bored. Don't listen to Emo, that's weak. And make insane smiles when you're not actually happy. EMO IS 5H1T HAHAHA!

[edit] This May or May Not Have Happened After That

Main Article:Post-grunge

Post-Grunge was born. One of the Nirvana brothers formed a band called The Froo Fighters. From this he went on to become one of the the scariest men alive, he also does some devil acting for some spare cash in some lame Jack Black movie.

[edit] Things you need to know about Grunge:

Kurt Cobain and the Nirvana Brothers
  • Make sure you wash every day, you don't want to become a fan.
  • Kurt Cobain was shot by Courtney Love, it says so here.
  • Pearl Jam are still going, no they really are. Here's proof dirtbag!

[edit] Grunge Is Dead

Grunge is DEAD after everyone’s attempt to be Kurt Cobain by not showering has failed miserably. Dave Grohl even clamed that he used to be in a band called Nirvana with Kurt. But after CSI investigated into the issue they only found that Dave had a secret romance with Kurt but no evidence of a band called Nirvana was found.

Recent revival attempts have included taping the sounds of people being mangled by grizzly bears and throwing Hindu children off rooftops in order to capture their screams of terror, but so far nothing has been quite as offensive to the ear.

[edit] Grunge is Un-Dead

Zombie grungers rise again, beasts of night and uncleanliness. Similar to the average zombie, only more dirty, and more difficult to kill. Known to congrigate around thrift stores and near large stores of dirt. They move as packs and are nearly unstoppable, it is becoming more evident that this possible plague may have some uses; because of the grunges ability to just not care, they appear to have a direct adverse effect to emos, in a scene where all the time is spent adjusting yourself and looking good, grunge is truelly the negative of this, no-one cares; it is possible the grunge zombies could be unleashed into emo heavy zones such as hot topic and malls, to spread their unearthly grime and corruption, killing the emo trend in its tracks. Further investigation is needed..The Zico Chain are a good subsitute.

[edit] Famous Grungers

[edit] List of Grunge Bands

[edit] See also

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