From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Groupie, is a counterpart of Paparazzi. Members of groupies involved in obsessive adoration of entertainers such as artists, actors, athletes, and even political figure. Therefore, while Paparazzi preys artist or celebrity and encroach upon their lifestyle just for their goods (such as gossip, rumor or spreading demagogue), groupie seeks their goal to be closer to their favorite artist or entertainer, and in the end, have sex with them.So does they do anything necessary to reach the aim. But we can notice that their behaviors are such juvenile, ateliotic, and sometimes promiscuous. As you can see on any kind of tribute channel of some influencial rock band or artist like The Beatles and Michael Jackson, groupies loses self control when they see the artists joining the stage, and some start shouting the name or whatever jerk because of immoderate exitement, and some start crying, or losing consciousness. It is pitiful to see the groupies who rampaging or break in through the stage and subdued by security guards right? However, you know, it is just the beginning. Usual groupies, specially the traditional rock 'n roll groupie, are often try to put together themself into the rock 'n roll lifestyle, which is sex and drugs are always available.
It is a well known fact that artists also enjoy to make fun of groupies. Start from trading sexual favours with them, some of them take drastic behaviors which can take as maltreating or child-abusing (because groupies are usually under-aged). Common example is Led Zeppelin and Michael Jackson (again?). There are rumours that members of Led Zeppelin teased groupies by inserting fishes into thier pussies, or putting them into bathtub with octopus. You can consider that it is a typical episode showing the lifestyle of groupies in 70's. And not to mention that Michael Jackson is famous for abused some children groupie, because they loved them too much.
Word "groupie" indicates young female. Without any exception, male groupie doesn't exist. If you wanna insist it's existence, I'd say that it's a disguised female, or a homosexual, or your eyes have
retarded disabled by something.
edit A little history
Once upon a time in late 70's, there's a bitch called Nancy Spungen and she wanted to have sex with any member of a band Sex Pistols. She collected some fans of Sex Pistols and started a voluntary work to defend the band from Paparazzi assault. This is the moment of groupie's birth. (Nancy finally achieved her aim and became a girlfriend of Sex Pistols bassist Sid Vicious, but needless to say that the behavior caused zillion jealousies from all groupie communities across the continent. The result was bloody death of Nancy, found in Sid's bathroom with some scars left by butterfly knife.)
Before that moment, there's an origin of groupie called Apple scruff, which is a group of hardcore fan who abnormally crush into a super famous rock band The Beatles. They are simply mentally disturbed; in the song "Shit Came In Through the Bathroom Window", The Beatles describes a pitiful works of Apple scruffs, just as climbing the band members apartment, rush into their bathroom while the members are relaxing, and steal any belongings such as trousers in wardrobe.
edit Definition of groupie
Just like many other Uncyclopedian articles, there's a long-trifling-shitty definition for groupie. Basically the common thing is that groupie can do whatever necessary to reach their aim. Here's the list.
- They don't need father and mother, if it's for Led Zeppelin.
- They can live without any foods or water (or suffer of hunger), if it's for Queens.
- They don't deserve to be rednecks, if it's for AC/DC.
- They can live without any boyfriends or ex-friends, if it's for Frank Zappa.
- They can stay as children forever, if it's for Michael Jackson.
- They can break their noses too, if it's for Michael Jackson.
- They can aim to be the true American Legend, if it's for Chuck Norris.
- They can give an effort to be a Writer and Noob of the Month, if it's for Oscar Wilde.
- They will kill Apple scruffs, if it's for The Beatles.
- They can shoot John Lennon, if it's for John Lennon.
- They can be a gay, if it's for Elton John.
- Sequel of above: It means they can be a male, if it's for Elton John. That means they can be a homosexual retard who changed their sex, if it's for Elton John.
- They can be one of the Jonas brothers, if it's for Jonas Brothers.
- They can be a Jew, if it's for Vin Diesel.
- They can listen to Autotune, if it's for Lil Wayne.
- They can listen to Lil Wayne, if it's for Michael Phelps.
- They can kill Chuck Norris, if it's for Nuck Chorris.
- They can go to Iraq and dig oil and die, if it's for Dubya.
- They can suicide (or Kamikaze), if it's for Greatest Emperor of Japan.
- They can blow Israel from the map, if it's for Ahmadinejad.
- They can die, if it's for the greatest goddest emperor so majestic and uber immortal Kim Jong-Ill too.
- They can be followed by groupie, if it's for Russian Reversal.
edit Famous groupies
- Nancy Spungen
- Pamela Des Barres - typical groupie who working on magazine management. This kind of guy is the ringleader of whole gossips.
- Suzy Creamcheese - A groupie invented by rock group Mothers of Invention
- Cynthia Plaster Caster - Well known groupie caracterized as "road wives"
- Apple scruffs
- Hilary Clinton - biggest & ugliest follower of Obama.
- Lars Ulrich
- Anna Popplewell