McDonald's characters

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These Are Those That They Might Call "McDonald's Characters." Should you? Yes, you should as well.

Introduced in 1973 by Sid and Marty Croft, the McDonald's characters of McDonaldland (a colorful assortment of hideous purple lumps, clowns, talking hamburgers, and pirates) have represented McDonald's restaurants, both in court and in advertising. While McDonald's has discontinued the use of their pantheon of weird food and clown characters for for litigating legal action for and against their corporation, they are still seen in advertisements for the fast food chain and feature prominently in nightmares of children and adults across the world.

Pendlebury McDonalds houses the weirdest and not so wonderful selection of people! And it's very own Ronald McDonald look-a-like, you have to look hard behind the counter, but he is usually there! Watch out for the drug addicts, they usually rattle around behind the counter in a drug-induced coma-like frenzy, and say hi to Janet! Give them a visit, make the lesbians hungry for you and higlight their already pitiful day!!!!!!! :)


Please note: Everything you are about to read is complete and utter.... BULLSHIT


nothing else to say

For those who are too lazy to scroll up, here is another picture

A brief overview of the McDonald's characters provides a satisfying, deep-fried look into the depths of sadness, despair, and value.

  • Mayor McToeCheese - A cheeseburger-headed golem who once ruled McDonaldland as its elected leader. However, following a string of scandals (the most serious of which was the Hamburglar's brutal beating after being apprehended by his paramilitary thug, Big Mac), McCheese was given the McBoot and banished to the mysterious wastelands of McDonaldland, Scotland. He currently wanders around in tattered rags, living off of Fry Guys that he is able to catch. Currently the police department in cedar city is looking for him. He is the latest suspect in a child molestation scam.
  • Big Dick - A hamburger-headed golem, Big Mac is currently a pariah from McDonaldland, roaming the mysterious wastelands of Scotland with his destitute master, Mayor McCheese. He gets McCheese's scraps and assists him in plotting and scheming their triumphant return from Scotland. He longs to viciously beat those that cast him out, and especially to finish the job he started with the Hamburgler.
  • The Hamburglar - J-mal, Gay-mal, J-small, whatever you call him, he will take your hamburger meat and never return with it. Boars head meat.

p.s He was seen giving "bjs" to conspicous indiviuals at the back of the drive thru. This series of suspicoius and embarrising events for the mcdonalds community has led many to question the 'true' composition of the secret sauce.Moreover doubting weather mcdonalds has turned in ot less of a ruestuant and more of a 'WANK SHAK'.

  • NigLip Mc Negro - The T-mac of burgers. Dark, lanky, droopy, and make your lip hang low.
  • The Fry Sweats - These bizarre creatures were created from Karate John Devalls leg hairs and belly button lint.

Poop

  • [[Steven Devall] - A.K.A The fat greasy bucket of KFC, dirty neck, etc..., founder and creator of Air devalls Corp. Dan lynch likes rubbery cotton swabs in his Jewish sweat hole. Lacrosse sucks cockular region of A-millz , coles glasses are dump, and she swallowed fatasses who wear air devalls. McFatty. Grimace obviously is a guy but has a pussy. Grimace is part of a secret species called the dip shits. They rule the underground pipes of every city in the world. it was once thought that they would rise from beneath and save us in a time of crises and rap ever tittle kid (the name of their underground civilization). leaving men to turn gay. whether or not this will happen depends on the way the Barack Obama decides to run our country. This probably won't happen anytime soon though. It is widley believed that the leader of their civilization is a Adolecent named Chris Wulf (who is a faggot). The once heavy weight of the McDonalds 'crew', Grimace first fell out of favour with rumours of regular visits to buffet restaurants such as Ryans and Golden Coral, where the fat fuck would eat everything, sparking complaints. Sensing the bad publicity, the suits at McDonalds proceeded to marginalise Grimace, fearing a public backlash against the decision not to introduce a McDonalds buffet in 1991, which Grimace was alledgedly coerced into agreeing to, for fear of being taken out of happy meal bags across the country and the humiliating demotion to being relegated to the Ham Burglers personal assistant, know within the McDonalds crew as being "THE bitch", prone to the Ham Burglers unpredictable rages, and sodomy. No one knows what Grimace will look like in the future, but experts agree that it will be her act of becoming that is most interesting. Grimace is currently the chief moneylender/loan shark, and child predator in McDonaldland. Only Grue can kill the Grimace,[not true]>>> After a recent scientific test it was discovered that the Grimace used to be a Grue and he can hide among them like a Grue, therefore; NOTHING can kill the Grimace. The Big Fat Purple Shit is a member of the McDonald's Or (McHitler) franchise. She earns $50 billion a year and hangs out with Birdie, 50 cent and her other hoes. She is the only living item to be seen from the moon. Her origins are unknown but it is thought she came from big purple candles, that have melted and formed her weird shit like appearance. Her main energy sources are scrumptious Neenish Tarts, gigolos, and your mom's vagina meat which she finds in caves on the moon. She is rarely seen in public, but when she is, it is typically in the company of that other fat purple shit, AKA, Monica Lewinsky. She has an amazing work ethic, as she is conveniently scarce when work needs to be done, and reappears at the right time to take all the credit, thus cementing her place in the McEmpire. She has no natural enemies, apart from members of the NRA, the pro-apartheid group "Team Rambo" and Bubble-O-Bill, the US immigration office and the ineffectual, but somewhat idealistic, Patrick Leahy.. She is not gay, but "could be persuaded, given the right meal and conversation." Grimace is the parent of two little shits. There is no baby daddy since grimace reproduces asexually. Grimace is a proud member of the east coast chapter of MOHNA (Mail Order Husband National Association). She has been "well traveled", has a basic knowledge of Jamaican and Calculus. She has never enjoyed long walks on the beach. Despite her otherwise unfit and gelatinous body, Grimace has been a world renown dancer since her teenage years. In her "off-time" she practices medication, counting penguins, and asthma. She is suspected to presently have AIDS due to her "accident" with Ronald McDonald, however, none of the 2 parties have officially said anything of the matter.<<<[not true] Rumor has it that Grimace no longer appears in McDonalds commercials due to his addiction to Purple drank.
    Grimace and his Purple Drank.
  • Captain McPenis - The Captain runs the corner store in McDonaldland and spends much of his time saying "Arrrr" and trying to develop a Filet o' Fish sandwich that doesn't suck. He has not been successful, and is heavily in debt to Grimace.experts also claim that the captain loves to take it in the ass.
  • Ronald Mcfuckface Pesin - With his frozen smile and cruel demeanor, Ronald runs McDonaldland with an iron fist and large, red shoes. Using Grimace to take care of his dirty work, Ronald punishes those who oppose him with banishment and in extreme circustances, with hot oil. He lives a reclusive life in his castle getting high,sucking dicks, making prank phone calls to Gayville, and delights in taking agonizing bites out of the talking Chicken McNugget things and the Happy Meal Guys, not granting them their wish to die sweatily.
  • Birdy - Birdy is Bianca. An early bird. She gets all the "shit jobs," as she puts it, and secretly hopes to one day allow Mayor McCheese to return to power. In the meantime, she serves Ronald and keeps his oversized shoes shiny so that bird seed keep coming. Ronald whores her out to Thai tourists who pay surprisingly well for the privilege of fucking her with a bag over her face.
  • The Happy Meal Faggets - They gave Ronald a great deal of displeasure when they were unable to "Super-Size" themselves to his standards, and now suffer the eternal torment of being partially eaten by him every day. As long as they are not entirely consumed, their flesh regenerates in an excrutiatingly painful process. They must also suffer the indignity of being completely superceded by the Aqua Teen Hunger Force, who totally bit their style, man.
  • The Happy Prostitute(LIZ) - Not much is known about these reclusive creatures. They are red versions of the happy meal guys. They have been known for selling there bodies for petty change to grimace and the occasional big mac meal.
  • The Fuck Tree - Not much is known about this disturbing tree. [Seen in background of picture] It has been told from generations of Happy Meal Guys that at midnight the tree eats small children and elderly. The tree is also said to be Michael Jackson in disguise. He is also known to rape baby monkeys and is the cause of AIDS in the world
  • McFuckhead - The generic prick who pretends not to hear you at the drive-through, who doesn't give you what you want, a straw for your coke or shit like that, who basicly, if you're drunk, makes you want to vandalise the mcshite building housing the mcfuck fucks, and fucking mcfuck them up big style, starting with, well, that shit excuse for food inserted forcefully up their rectums, and then the slow, but very much deliberate force feeding of mcshite into their mouths, accelerating their own inevitable obesity, and bringing heart failure forward by about 20 years. Mcfuck them all, the fucks.
  • Kenwock The African Coffee - Belive it or not, but by force, Ronald had a black friend, he is spent most of the time:
  • Rasing the cows, and killing them for the patties.
  • Same with the chickens.
  • Cleaning up resturants in over 40 Countires.
  • Has known to be a suspected sex toy of the rest of the gang.
  • Gerard Way - Has been selling Emo Happy Meals to children so that he can convert them easier.
Grimace wants to have sex with Peter Griffin, thus meaning he is a pervert.
Grimace also likes big fat men
  • The yeast infest whore mongering McDonalds costumer - Not much is known about this one, though he has been seen in every McDonalds commercial in the background, normally mongering whores.

==people killed by Grimace== i heart

Grimace has been known to have exerted his/hers (jello-ass) sexual prowess over weak individuals (whilst simultaneously forcing the poor bastard to feel the agony of losing "The Game" n number of times all at once), such as Craig Nicholls and turning them terminally insane. The symptoms from being raped by Grimace are: Addiction to Quarter Pounders, Love Handles, and Double Chin, Fits of rage and constipations, often seen as raging constipation, the inability to talk in full sentences without rocking back and forth murmuring "The Purple Shit," As well as an obsession with Lionel Richie's "Hello," and worshipping Queen Latifah for her Grimace-like appearance. Most victims of Grimace's merciless 600-McPounder ass rape have tragically ended their lives through strangulation by McFries, or otherwise jumping off of cliffs with Lemmings. erm.... no! Marcus waz here!

R.I.P

[edit] See also

BREAKING NEWS

Latest sighting of Grimace! he goes by the name of Pardeep Sahota! Taramaskarki Ben Chong, yeah stevie. dickss suck balls

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