From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Gray is the name of the alien Nordic star race that genetically engineered moogles from chimpanzees. What an awful mistake that was. Their own species was suffering from genetic degredation through misuse of genetic cloning techniques, as can be seen in Star Wars Episode II - Attack of the Clones. They have bases on the dark side of the moon because they are huge Pink Floyd fans, and regularly visit us to sodomize our cattle and draw pictures in our wheat.
Gray is also the color of God. As told in the great works of Douglas Adams, Man disproved God by means of equating black with white. Whilst God vanished in a puff of logic, what is untold is his return to grey status, which is both black and white depending on the brightness and contrast settings of your monitor.
edit Gray Hair
Whilst gray hair at an old age is said to mark wisdom and experience, gray hair at extremely young ages such as 16 and 17 is a symptom of an almost always fatal disease stiffness, although stiffness doesn't kill directly, victims end up dying through the inability to perform basic functions such as crossing a road fast enough or perform self-defense efficiently. Stiffness is a very serious condition that stops fluidity in all movements giving one the appearance of being robotic and almost in-human. A famous sufferer of stiffness is John Terry, a cultured Cenre-back for Chelsea football club who first had gray-hair at the age of 10. John Terry's illness famously cost Chelsea their first European Cup as John Terry missed in a penalty shoot-out against Manchester United due to stiffness affecting his motion to kick the ball
edit The Power Of Gray
It is currently known that gray is the most powerful of all colors. This was confirmed in 1899.9 AD when Dr. Samson Van Condom III stared at a gray sheet of paper for six hours. Within the first half second, Dr. Van Condom's face was subjected to a temperature of over 9000 angry fire ants. Although he was killed instantly, his research paved the way for other retarded scientists to perform suicidal experiments. The universal law of the color gray is .
edit Popular Culture
Grey is the official colorless color, black and white are mere intensities of the all-pervading grey. Since this discovery, Yin and Yang have now been replaced with the more intuitive Yong symbol. As of this date, the Beatles, AC/DC, Metallica and Spinal Tap have all released albums with gray covers.
Grey is the color of indecisive wimps that rely on everyone else to make their choices and solve their problems for them. Men that wear sweater vests often admit under duress that their favorite colors are gray and white. (The pansies!)This could explain why executives wear black or navy blue suits while middle management responsibility shifters wear exclusively gray.
edit Gray or Grey
There has also been significant debate over the distinctions between gray and grey. In reality, Gray is the original color. Grey is merely a malicious impostor attempting to perpetrate an elaborate chroma-identity theft scheme for its own personal gain and pure amusement, funded exclusively by its own funds as a wealthy Earl. Gray is and always has been the actual color, though this article refers to them interchangeably because...well, it'd be way too much work to spell check like 4 or 5 paragraphs.
edit See also
|CHART OF PRIMARY COLOURS – Colours – Colors|