Green Thing

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The green thing

The Green Thing (also known as Green Llama Thing, Happy Thing, Happy Green Llama Thing or simply That Green Thing You Find In Avatars) is a green thing. Other then being green, the Green Thing is a cross between a llama and a cucumber and as such is classified as a biological monstrosity. The Green Thing was banished to the Internet forever, but this does not affect him since he's too happy to even realise.

edit Early Life

Green Thing was born in the back garden of a slightly mad evil farmer who lived about 15 minutes outside Wigan. Farmer Green had entered the local Vegetable Growing Competition and wanted something completely original that would blow the judges away. He originally started making a chemical of pure, concentrated cucumber DNA which he would inject into the cucumbers to make them grow quicker. Green perfected this to the extent that all he needed to do was inject one small cucumber with the chemical and the cucumber would instantly swell to the size of a double-decker bus. He even succeeded in transforming a banana into a cucumber (which you must admit is quite impressive).

Green had the competition in the bag until he realised that his nemesis, Pumpkin Pete, had done a similar thing except with pumpkins and as a result had created a pumpkin the size of Mount Kilamanjaro. Green could see it from his house (as could most of the people in the country and most of west Europe for that matter). It was so big, Pete had to store it in the North Sea.

Angered by this, Green decided that he had to create something completely new in order to win at all. Then an idea struck him! What if he could create a walking, talking vegetable (he hadn't heard of Vegetales, so this idea was relatively new to him). In order to do this, however, he decided that he must somehow use the concentrated cucumber DNA and mix it up with concentrated animal DNA. Green did this with concentrated llama DNA, and Green Thing was the result!

Of course, by this point, Pumpkin Pete's pumpkin had been confiscated by the government and sent into space. It is currently orbiting Jupiter.

At the Vegetable Competition, people where literally scared to death by Green Thing and the local vicar threw holy water over him. Green Thing simply did his characteristic Prance around the area causing the judges to call the police, who attempted to capture Green Thing but were unsuccessful due to Green Thing being composed of pixels (nobody knows why this is, but it is believed that it may be because Farmer Green used his computer to make him).

The police did, however, manage to capture Farmer Green. But not soon enough, as Green injected himself with five litres of cucumber DNA and turned into a massive cucumber. The police found him and entered him in the Competition, where he won first prize!

Green Thing, meanwhile, was still on the loose somewhere in North England. The police eventually formulated a plan to catch Green Thing which involved writing a song designed to flatter it, allowing them to trap it in a computer (from whence it came). The plan was put into place when Green Thing appeared, prancing about Wigan Town Centre. They set up their instruments and a computer (Which they where hoping that Green Thing would run into, accidentally absorbing itself and becoming trapped). This is the song the police sang:

Green Thing, You make my heart sing. 'Cos you make everything So freaky.

Essentially, the plan failed because Green Thing did could not hear their lovely song due to not having ears. But nevertheless, Green Thing still absorbed himself and was trapped within the computer where he will remain for all eternity.

edit Life In Internet

Green Thing's first home on the Internet was Youtube, where he quickly made money by prancing around a virtual nightclub whilst the song "I Like to Move It, Move It" played. Green Thing spent at least three years doing this (non-stop), stopping only when he was elected mayor of Youtube (preceding Tay Zonday, and succeeding Tron Guy).

Eventually, the Viacom Thought Police appeared and threw Green Thing out of Youtube for using a song he did not pay to listen to (he did pay but he didn't listen to it). Once again fading into obscurity, Green Thing was forced to use the Internet Meme Machine of Mudkipz with which he successfully cloned himself.

Green Thing's clones quickly spread to the message boards and invaded people's avatars, in time taking them over completely. Green Things are now officially more wide-spread then Mudkipz, which is why Mudkipz are planning a war against the Green Things. But don't tell them I told you. It's a secret.

edit Green Thing Today

Today, Green thing is in every Youtube video, every avatar, every website and just about everywhere on the Internet. Some people are incredibly annoyed at Green Thing and want to banish him from the Internetz. But, unfortunately, they can't because as we all know that Green Thing was formerly of this world and we banished him first. And so the only choice they have left is to banish him to a parallel dimension. Mudkipz, on the other hand, simply want to completely destroy him (but it's a secret).


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